


Whiskey Lullabies

by cga1993



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead - All Media Types
Genre: AU, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Pre-ZA
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2613836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cga1993/pseuds/cga1993
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl Dixon gets a shocking surprise from a one-night-stand. Can Ryanne overcome her past to help her friend? And how will this change their relationship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Rock and Rye

“'Nother beer, Daryl?” Ryanne asked the man sitting at the crowded bar who, despite the lively concert around him, was staring at the ring of condensation forming on the bar from his once-cold beer bottle. 

The man, Daryl, looked up at the redheaded bartender and shook his head.

Ryanne rolled her eyes. “C'mon, it's only ten-thirty.” she prodded. “And by the looks of things, you're gonna be here a while.”

Daryl turned to look in the direction Ryanne had gestured to see his brother with two women hanging off of him while he hollered something to his pals Ray and Heath.

“Here, it's on me.” Ryanne said, sliding him a beer. “So long as you keep him from breaking anything tonight... or anyone.”

“Thanks.” Daryl mumbled.

This was a typical conversation with Daryl Dixon, but Ryanne enjoyed his presence nonetheless. As a bartender, she preferred the quiet customers to the ones who tried to hit on her. How did they not understand that she was only nice to them because they were tipping her well?

Ryanne would always feel relieved when Daryl walked into her bar, Rock and Rye, even though it was his ritual long before she took over the place. When Ryanne bought the bar two years ago from its former owner and her good family friend, Elle, she learned who Daryl was pretty fast. Almost every day he would stop by for a beer and sometimes a bite to eat at 4:30 when he finished work at the garage across the street, then he would be back most weekend nights, accompanied by his brother, Merle. Ryanne recognized him from when she bartended for Elle on her summer breaks from college almost a decade ago, but he had not been a regular then.

“Not gonna get up and dance tonight?” Ryanne said to Daryl, looking over to the band that was currently playing a cover of Sweet Home Alabama. “Pam over there has her eye on you.”

Daryl turned red and shook his head. Ryanne loved to tease him, but never in the way that his brother teased him. She thought it was cruel the things Merle would say. Ryanne knew brothers could be tough on each other, but she could never imagine saying such things to her family, no matter how bad they'd screwed her over.

“I'm just teasing.” Ryanne smiled back at him. “Come out for a smoke?”

“Migh' 's well.” Daryl replied with a shrug, getting up off the bar stool.

“Shit, you got a light?” she asked, fumbling through her pockets, searching for the lighter she swore she had.

Daryl nodded and passed her his lighter. Ryanne lit her cigarette and took a long drag.

“Beautiful, ain't it?” Ryanne said, giving the lighter back to Daryl.

Daryl looked in the direction that Ryanne was and noticed how clear the night was. Thousands of stars lit up the sky above the weathered old bar.

“Yeah. Maybe it'll last into deer season.” Daryl mused.

Ryanne laughed and looked from the sky back to Daryl. “Daryl Dixon, you've been coming to my bar for two years now and that has got to be the most I've ever learned about you.”

Daryl simply shrugged at this.

“So you're a hunter. Any more secrets hidden behind those muscly layers?” Ryanne teased.

“Nah, ain't got no secrets.” Daryl replied. At least none that a girl like Ryanne would want to hear.

They finished their cigarettes in silence then went back inside where Daryl found his brother and the two women he'd seen him with earlier, waiting for him.

“Hey brother,” Merle slurred. “Lookin' for you everywhere. Bobbi-Jo here wants to show you somethin'. We're headin' home, get in the truck.”

Daryl looked at Bobbi-Jo. He was pretty sure he recognized her from high school. She was short, even with her high heeled shoes and had a spray tan that looked out of place anywhere but Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Daryl had no interest in anything Bobbi-Jo wanted to show him, but knew his brother would tease him relentlessly if he didn't have sex with her. 

Daryl turned his head to get a look at Ryanne before following Merle, Bobbi-Jo, and their other guest to the parking lot.

Now there was a girl Daryl would want to take home, that was if he had a home worthy of taking Ryanne to. Ryanne was gorgeous with her long auburn hair and mega-watt smile. Getting a drink after work was the best part of Daryl's day. Not that he would ever try anything with Ryanne. God, he could hardly talk to her without stuttering or babbling. Besides, what would a girl like her want with a guy like him? 

Ryanne caught Daryl looking over his shoulder at her and smiled back at him before waving goodbye across the crowded bar. She felt sick watching him leave with the Queen of Spray Tans, but ignored it and got back to work.


	2. Chapter 1

Daryl woke to the sound of a car tearing out of his driveway. He got off the couch where he had fallen asleep watching TV and made his way to the door to see what was going on. Probably some tweaker or dealer looking for Merle who hadn't heard yet that he was back in jail for the umpteenth time. Daryl saw nothing but tire tracks and was about to go back to bed when he heard a noise come from the other side of the door. He figured it was probably just some damn raccoons tearing into his garbage again, but something compelled him to open the door and have a look anyway. When he saw what was at his door he nearly fainted from shock.

 

“Hello?” Ryanne answered her phone just as she locked the door to the bar and began walking up the steps to her apartment above the business.  
“Hey, Ryanne.” she heard a familiar voice on the other end say.  
“Daryl? What's up?” she asked, slightly concerned. “You couldn't wait until tomorrow to confess your love for me?”  
Although she couldn't see it, she knew he was blushing.  
“Nah,” Daryl replied. “Listen, Ryanne, you told me to call if I ever needed anything...”  
Ryanne scowled, dropping her joking tone. “Yeah, what's up? Everything alright?”  
“No, can you come over?” Daryl asked urgently. “It's an emergency.”  
“Yeah, sure thing, I was just locking up.” Ryanne replied. “What's going on?”  
“I don't even know what to...” Daryl trailed off, at a loss for words. “I'll explain when you get here.”

 

Ryanne pulled into the Dixons' yard and saw that all the lights were on, strange for 3 a.m., even for Daryl and Merle. She jumped out of her Chevy and walked up the steps to knock on the door. Daryl opened it, looking like someone who had just returned from war.  
“Whoa, what happened?” Ryanne asked, looking concerned.  
Daryl stepped aside and ushered her into the trailer. Ryanne's mouth hung open in surprise when she realized why Daryl had called her. She took a deep breath and collected herself, knowing that it was no use for them both to freak out in this situation. She approached the kitchen table and lifted the tiny, wailing baby from her carrier.   
“Hey there, sweetie.” she cooed. “It's alright. Everything's gonna be alright.” Ryanne turned around to look at Daryl, hoping for an explanation like he had promised on the phone. “She's yours?”  
Daryl nodded. “That's what it says here anyway.” He handed her an envelope that had his name scrawled across it.  
“Well, my hands are a little full right now.” Ryanne said. “Either you read it to me, or you hold the baby. Or yeah, just have a heart attack right now, that's super helpful.”  
“Dammit, Ryanne, whaddaya want me to do?!” Daryl yelled, scaring Ryanne and causing the baby to cry even louder. “I never asked for this! I ain't prepared! I can't raise a baby!”  
“I'm not tellin' you to raise her!” Ryanne countered. “You got arms, don'tcha? You can at least hold her until we figure this out.”  
Daryl took a deep breath and nodded. When Ryanne was sure his anger had passed she stepped forward and placed the baby in his outstretched arms. Surprisingly, this seemed to relax everyone in the trailer, including the baby. Ryanne took a seat at the table and opened the envelope with Daryl's name on it. She couldn't believe he hadn't opened it himself.  
“Daryl,” she began to read out loud. “This is your daughter, Emma Jane. I don't think I can do this. She hasn't stopped crying and I need a fix. Maybe you can do a better job than me. Signed, Bobbi-Jo Brightley.”  
“Emma.” Daryl repeated in disbelief.  
Well, at least he had actually heard what Ryanne had said. “Oh look, at least she was nice enough to include her birth certificate, you'll be needing that.” she added.  
“So what do we do?” Daryl pleaded.  
Ryanne walked over to the couch and sat beside Daryl who looked to be getting more comfortable holding the baby. “Well,” she said with a sigh, “That's up to you. You can keep her, or you can put her up for adoption. I think Georgia has a Safe Haven law, I can Google that if that's something you want to do. I think you're gonna have to call CPS regardless. If you decide to keep her, it's probably best to go through all the proper legal stuff for custody and- Yeah, I should shut up, you're probably not getting any of this.”  
Daryl stared at her with a look of fear Ryanne never thought she would see on a man like him.  
“OK, so step one,” Ryanne began. “I think it's safe to assume you don't have formula or diapers here, so I suggest we get in my truck and head to the 24 hour Walmart in Pickettville.”  
“What about CPS?” Daryl asked.  
“They might have someone working the phones, but I doubt they'd send anyone out til tomorrow at the soonest.” Ryanne explained. “Til then she's gonna need fed and changed. Let's go.”

 

“What a beautiful family!” the young cashier gushed, looking at the baby in Ryanne's arms.  
“No, we're-” Daryl began, but stopped when Ryanne stepped on his toes. Christ, those boots of her's felt more like high heels.  
“You don't owe people an explanation.” she whispered to him after smiling and thanking the cashier.   
“That'll be $57.59.” the cashier said.  
Daryl reached for his wallet and realized he had no cash. He pulled out his credit card and hoped it would work. He bit the inside of his cheek nervously when it was declined.  
“I got it.” Ryanne assured him and pulled a wad of cash out of her back pocket, holding the baby with just one arm.  
Daryl collected their bags and carried them to Ryanne's truck.  
“What'd ya mean by that?” Daryl asked once Emma was secured in her car seat.  
Ryanne put the truck in gear and checked her rearview mirror before backing out of her parking space. “Oh, that you don't owe anyone an explanation?”  
Daryl nodded. Ryanne wanted to tease him about how uncomfortable he looked sitting in the “bitch seat”, but he'd been through enough for one day.  
“I don't really know how to explain it, I am way too tired to be explaining anything right now,” Ryanne said. “But I guess it's kind of something you don't understand until you make the realization for yourself. Basically, a lot of people think they have a right to know your story. Maybe it's just me, I dunno, but it feels good to stop giving away every little piece of yourself. It's like taking a stand, but without being rude about it.”  
Daryl scowled, trying to wrap his head around what Ryanne was trying to say. He understood not telling people stuff about his life. Heck, his whole life was about hiding his past from people, putting up walls and keeping everyone out, but what did this have to do with him telling the cashier that he and Ryanne were not a couple? Unless of course, Ryanne was happy to pretend they really were. Daryl quickly dismissed the though. They were just friends. Ryanne was so out of his league.  
“She seems to like driving.” Ryanne commented, breaking the silence.   
Daryl looked at Emma who had ceased her crying and fallen asleep. “Huh. That normal?” he asked.  
“Some babies really hate being in vehicles, and some really love it.” Ryanne said. “Although I'm not surprised since her Daddy's a mechanic.”  
“How long til I can take her on Merle's bike?”  
“You better be jokin' or I'm gonna throw you out of this truck.” Ryanne threatened.  
“'Course I'm joking.” Daryl assured her. His expression suddenly changed to one of worry and he asked, “What the hell do I tell Merle 'bout this?”  
Ryanne bit her lip. Somehow the thought never even crossed her mind, but she'd seen enough of Daryl's relationship with Merle to feel worried as well. She refused to let him see it though, she was going to support him, not make this any harder.  
“He just went back to jail, didn't he?” Ryanne asked, making the natural assumption one would make when Merle was absent from the local bar for three consecutive weeks.   
Daryl nodded.  
“Then you've got a while to figure it out. One step at a time.” Ryanne said, reaching out for Daryl's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.   
They spent the rest of the drive back to Daryl's in silence, both deep in thought. When Ryanne pulled into his driveway she realized it was almost 3:30 a.m.  
“Listen, Daryl, it's getting really late.” she said as she parked the truck.  
Daryl looked confused. Or was that fear? Was he having a real heart attack this time? Ryanne had never seen this expression on her friend before.   
“Daryl, are you-”  
“Will you stay the night?” he cut her off, pleading hurriedly, as if she might take off before he finished his question. “I uh... I don't really know what to do if she needs anything tonight.” he added.  
“Oh,” Ryanne said. “Yeah, sure.”  
“You don't mind?” Daryl asked as if he couldn't believe someone was really helping him.  
“Not at all.” Ryanne replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos on the last chapter guys!  
> I still have no clue how to work this site. Oh well.  
> I'm experiencing some computer problems at the moment. I've got up to chapter 5 written and backed up, but if my computer decides to finally die that's probably all that I can post before Christmas.  
> Anyway, let me know what you think. I live in constant fear that I'm not getting characters right, so comments on that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just realized that the last chapter was posted twice. I have no idea how that happened, but sorry for any confusion. Here's the real Chapter 2!

Ryanne woke in an unfamiliar bed and felt a moment of panic until she remembered where she was. Daryl had taken the couch when they returned from their late-night Walmart run and offered Ryanne his bed. She rolled over and checked her phone which was sitting on Daryl's nightstand, which was actually just a stack of milk crates. 11:15. Shit.  
Ryanne scrolled through her contacts and called Rachel, her assistant manager at the bar. “Hey, Rach, can you open up for me today?” she asked when the other woman answered the phone.  
“Sure thing, Ry.” she agreed. “Everything alright?”  
Ryanne had never missed a day of work since she bought the bar. She should have expected at least a bit of concern from her staff. “Yeah, I'm fine. A friend of mine is just havin' a hard time right now and I'm tryna help out. Think you might be able to take over for a couple days if I need to be gone any longer?”  
“Yeah, definitely. Just gimme a call as soon as you know how long you need.” Rachel said. “Are you out of town? Just in case we need you for anything.”  
“Yeah,” Ryanne replied. “I'm in town... sort of. I'll be sleeping at home probably so I might see you when you close up. Call me if you need anything. The liquor order is supposed to be in at 3 this afternoon, cheque's in the top drawer of my desk.”  
“OK, Ry.” Rachel said. “Don't worry about a thing. Your baby's in good hands!”  
Ryanne bit her tongue, trying not to laugh. “Thanks, Rach! Talk to you later.”   
Ryanne hung up and got out of Daryl's bed. She took a moment to look around his room. It made student housing look like an episode of MTV: Cribs. She shook her head. Daryl had a lot of work ahead of him if he was going to go through with this.  
Tip-toeing into the living room, Ryanne found Daryl still asleep on the couch with baby Emma sleeping on his chest. She smiled, thinking that maybe he was more ready for fatherhood than she had thought.  
“What're you lookin' at?” Daryl grumbled.  
“How long have you been awake?” Ryanne asked nervously, regretting how long she'd hovered over him.  
“'Bout an hour.” Daryl replied. “Didn't wanna wake her.”  
Ryanne smiled. “Want me to make some coffee?” she offered.  
“Don't got any.” Daryl said.  
Ryanne looked at the small kitchen behind her. Why were there no doors on the cupboards? And why were the cupboards empty? It didn't look like Daryl even owned a coffeemaker. That explained why he was a regular at her bar anyway.  
“Alright. I'll be back soon!” Ryanne called, opening the front door.   
“Where're you goin'?!” Daryl calls after her, waking Emma. “Dammit.”

 

“OK, so technically Sonic stops serving breakfast at 11, but I turned on the charm, something you should try sometime, by the way, and BAM! Breakfast burritos!”  
Daryl frowned. “Ryanne, you don't have to buy me things, I can take care of myself.”  
“Says the man who's card was declined last night.” Ryanne reminded him. She immediately regretted her words. “Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Not like you really had time to save up for baby stuff.”  
“Thank you.” Daryl said. “Sorry I didn't say it last night, guess I wasn't really thinkin' 'bout anything but her.”  
Ryanne shook her head. “Don't worry 'bout it.” she said, reaching out to take Emma from Daryl's arms so he could eat. “Honestly, I've got a lot more than I need and I'd rather spend it helpin' people than buyin' stuff for myself. Besides, who wouldn't want to spoil this sweet little girl?”  
Daryl smiled at Ryanne as she cuddled the baby. She could count on one hand the amount of times she'd seen Daryl Dixon smile like that.  
“Thank you, really,” Daryl repeated. “For everything. I don't know how I coulda survived last night without you.”  
“Daryl, I told you, there's no need to thank me. It's what friends do.”  
Yeah, friends. “No one's ever really gone outta their way to help me before.” Daryl confessed.  
“Yeah, I kinda figured.” Ryanne replied. She knew Daryl was a loner the moment she met him. Maybe it was why she felt so drawn to him, being a loner herself.  
“So, have you decided what you want to do yet?” Rianne asked.  
Daryl shook his head, ashamed that he hadn't figured out a solution yet. “Nah, I tried, but there's just so much I don't know.”  
Ryanne reached out and squeezed Daryl's hand reassuringly. “It's OK. Trust me, it's normal to be scared and confused when you become a parent. No one knows what they're doing.”  
Ryanne feared she said too much, that she revealed her biggest secret. While it might help Daryl, Ryanne's past had the potential to destroy her. She could hardly think about it, let alone tell Daryl about it. Thankfully he was too absorbed in his own situation to pick up on any clues Ryanne may have dropped about who she was before she moved to their small Georgia town.  
“But people go to classes and read books an' stuff. They got some idea.” Daryl argued. “I don't know shit! Ryanne, I didn't even know how to hold her right!”  
“You can figure it out if it's what you want to do.” Ryanne said. “Plenty of people who have kids don't do any of that stuff.”  
“Yeah, that's exactly what I don't want to happen to her.”  
Daryl's tone told Ryanne there was something else going on in his mind, something he didn't want to talk about. Ryanne knew Daryl was a guarded person, but she couldn't help but wonder what it was he was hiding from her. She had her own demons though, and if he wouldn't ask about her's, she wouldn't ask about his.  
Daryl shakes his head. “I want to do this, Ry, but I can't! I'm no good. She's better off without me.”  
As if she sensed the tension between them, Emma began to cry.  
“See! I'm terrible at this, I just keep makin' her cry!” Daryl said.  
Ryanne stood up from the table and put Emma in Daryl's arms.   
“Ry! Stop! What are you doing?”  
“First of all, a parent's job isn't to make sure their baby doesn't cry.” Ryanne explained as Daryl tried his best to calm the baby. “Crying is how they communicate. Your job is to respond. Her crying is in no way a measure of how good a parent you are. Why do you think she's crying right now?”  
“I- I don't know!”  
“That little girl is cryin' cuz no one's shown her any love in the entire time she's been on this Earth. How goddamn sad is that? Now take a look at her and tell me you're gonna deny her that. Tell me that she deserves a life in foster care. Tell me you don't want her to have birthdays and Christmases or anything good. Tell me you want her to go her whole life knowin' that no one ever loved her or wanted her. Go 'head, say it.” Ryanne dared him.  
Daryl looked at his daughter, the first real look he'd taken of her. She was unbelievably tiny. She had a little tuft of blonde hair and he realized her eyes were the exact same color as his. He was terrified, but part of him knew what Ryanne had said was true. He had a terrible childhood, he wasn't going to let Emma have anything close to what he'd experienced.  
“I can't say it.” he admitted. “But I don't think I can do this on my own.”  
In the few years that Ryanne had known Daryl, last night was the first time he ever asked her for anything. She knew this was the closest he might ever get to actually asking someone for help.  
“Yes, Daryl, I'll help you,” Ryanne promised. “But I am not raising her. She's your daughter, that's your job.”  
“Thanks, Ry.” Daryl said appreciatively. “How d'you know so much about babies anyway?”  
Ryanne shrugged. “I just have a really strong motherly instinct.” she lied.  
She felt relieved when Daryl accepted her answer and returned his attention to Emma.


	4. Chapter 3

Ryanne slipped in through the back door of the bar and flicked on the kitchen light. It had been a long day trying to get Daryl set up for his first night alone with Emma. After Ryanne had made a few phone calls to figure out the proper legal channels for Daryl to secure custody of his daughter she drove him to a nicer department store a few towns over to get more things for the baby. Ryanne had made sure Daryl got a crib, a changing table, blankets, clothes, diapers, and formula for Emma. They set everything up in the living room of the trailer for the time being. Ryanne suggested he wait until everything was settled until he tell Merle whom they both predicted would be upset. Daryl felt terrible about not having enough money to buy everything his daughter needed, so Ryanne made a deal with him; She would pay for Emma's necessities until Daryl could afford to do so himself and he would do work around the bar and Ryanne's apartment as payback.  
Ryanne sighed and rubbed her aching temples. She forgot how much energy caring for a newborn took. The fryer oil was still warm and the smell made her stomach rumble. Daryl's cupboards were bare so she hadn't had a thing to eat since their cold breakfast burritos that morning. Suddenly she wanted to eat everything in the kitchen. She took a handful of mozzarella sticks from the freezer and had just dropped them into the fryer basket when she heard a noise behind her and let out a shrill scream.  
“Oh, Jesus, sorry Ry!” Rachel said as she walked in through the swinging saloon-style doors to the kitchen. “Didn't realize you came in.”  
Ryanne looked at Rachel and suddenly burst into tears.  
“Whoa, what's wrong?” Rachel asked, hugging her boss and letting her cry on her shoulder.  
When Ryanne said Daryl was her only friend in town, she wasn't completely honest. She'd grown quite close to her assistant manager over the few years she'd owned the bar, but she had never been able to accurately define their relationship. She wasn't the kind of girl who ever had many female friends. Sometimes she felt she could describe their relationship as sisterly, but this was definitely not how she got along with her biological sister. Rachel was her confidant. Maybe it was because Rachel was a really great listener and had a talent for understanding people - part of why Ryanne hired her in the first place - or perhaps it was just out of sheer loneliness that Ryanne divulged so much information about herself to the younger brunette.  
“C'mon, let's get you a drink.” Rachel said, patting Ryanne on the back and releasing her so she could plate the food Ryanne had forgotten in the deep fryer.  
Ryanne took a deep breath and collected herself then followed Rachel into the bar.  
“OK,” Rachel said once she poured Ryanne a triple Jack and Coke. “Who's this friend and what was their emergency?”  
Ryanne chugged several large gulps of her drink then slammed it on the bar. “Daryl.”  
“Daryl Dixon?” Rachel asked.  
“The one and only.” Ryanne confirmed.  
“So what happened?” Rachel implored, sipping her whiskey sour.  
Ryanne took a deep breath and sighed, wondering where to begin. “OK, you know how he just comes in here after work to get supper and is really quiet, but then on the weekends he's here with his brother Merle and ends up getting dragged home with him and a couple trailer trash whores?”  
Rachel nodded. “Merle's a goddamned dog. Actually no, I love dogs. Merle's like a... I dunno, it's been a long day. Merle sucks.”  
“Yup, well one of those whores was Bobbi-Jo Brightley.” Ryanne continued to explain, knowing Rachel was anything but a gossip.  
“Eww.”  
“Oh, I know.” Ryanne agreed. “Well, Bobbi-Jo got pregnant.”  
Rachel sprayed her drink out. “Oh my God! But where do you fit into all this? Are you and Daryl a thing?! I totally called it! Hannah owes me twenty bucks!”  
So much for Rachel being a great listener.  
“No, Daryl's not my boyfriend.” Ryanne denied, hoping the warming she felt in her cheeks was just from the drink. “He's my friend.”  
“Don't look like just friends to me.” Rachel mumbled.  
Ryanne rolled her eyes. “Jeez, would you let me finish?!”  
“Alright.” Rachel said, pouring them each another drink.  
“I gave Daryl my number months ago when it looked like he might need someone to come pick his ass up off the side of the road cuz Merle was being exceptionally douchey. Last night Bobbi-Jo dropped the baby on Daryl's doorstep and took off. He never even knew she was pregnant. Anyway, he said he called me cuz I was the first person he thought of.”  
Rachel finished off her drink and just stared at Ryanne. “Holy shit.”  
“Yeah.”  
“So what's he gonna do?”  
“He's keeping her.” Ryanne answered proudly, pushing her empty glass toward Rachel, asking for another. “Here, you gotta see her, she's the prettiest baby ever, I swear.” Ryanne took her phone out of her pocket and showed Rachel the photo she had taken of Daryl and the baby asleep on his couch.  
“Wow,” Rachel said with a smile. “She looks just like him.”  
Ryanne laughed. “I know! He says he doesn't see it though. Maybe once he's over the initial shock of everything.”  
“Yeah, really.” Rachel said, stealing a mozzarella stick off of Ryanne's plate. “Can you imagine just waking up and finding out you have a baby? Poor guy must be a wreck.”  
“He'll survive.” Ryanne assured her friend. “He's actually a pretty good dad. He's just not very confident in his abilities yet.”  
“So why did you help him out?” Rachel asked, squinting her eyes a little bit.  
“Told you, he's my friend.” Ryanne repeated herself.  
“Yeah, you said that, but like, don't he have anyone else that could help him?” Rachel prodded.  
Ryanne shook her head. “Rach, you've lived here forever, you know better than I do that Daryl ain't got no one but Merle. Think Merle's the kind of guy anyone should be seeking parenting tips from?”  
“Good point.” Rachel said, taking another big gulp of her drink. “How was it on you though, taking care of a baby again?”  
“S'pose that's the best explanation for why I was cryin' in the kitchen.” Ryanne replied. Rachel was the only person in town who knew Ryanne's secret, that Ryanne had lost her eight-month-old son about a year before moving to town and buying the bar.  
Rachel reached across the bar and held Ryanne's hand. “Do you think you can handle it? Helping Daryl? Being around that baby all the time now?”  
“I'm gonna try my best.” Ryanne said, trying to sound confident. “Daryl really needs me. Not so much for the actual teaching part, he's a fast learner, but he kind of needs someone there to tell him he's doing a good job or he gets really upset with himself.”  
“Does he know?”  
Ryanne shook her head. “No. We don't talk about that kind of stuff. I don't want to tell him about SIDS anyway, it would terrify him.”  
“Just know your limits when you're helping him.” Rachel told her. “Daryl and the baby are lucky to have someone as great as you helping them. Don't let him take advantage of what a big heart you have.”  
Ryanne forced a smile to reassure her friend. “Don't worry, I won't.” she said with a yawn. “I should get some sleep now, I'm gonna take some breakfast out to them around seven. You good to open tomorrow too?”  
“Consider me opening the bar indefinitely.” Rachel promised.  
“Thank you.”  
“Not a problem, Ry.”  
Ryanne waited with Rachel until her boyfriend pulled into the parking lot. She washed up the glasses and plate they used then dragged her exhausted body up the stairs to her bed.  
Sleep didn't come as easy as Ryanne had hoped though. The tears she bottled up at the mention of her son began to flow until she cried herself to sleep. Her sleep was far from restful, her dreams a hazy mess of images of her son and Emma and Daryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you're reading this story, you're probably gonna realize how inconsistent I am with updating. Even though I've got quite a few done, I'm trying to space them out a bit to give myself some time to edit, but I just get really excited about publishing. It also makes me feel like I've been productive if I update. I've got papers due, a craft fair I'm a vendor in, and work all this coming week so I probably won't get the next chapter up for a while.  
> Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into Ryanne's world. And now you know her secret! Or do you.... dun dun dun! (Ignore me, I'm insane).  
> Please leave some comments and let me know what you think! Are you diggin' the plot? How accurate am I writing Daryl? Is there anything that needs some more clarification? Anything is helpful really.


	5. Chapter 4

Daryl began to pace his trailer nervously the second Ryanne pulled out of his driveway. She had stayed until they had gotten Emma to bed, but Daryl knew from the night before that it was only a matter of time until Emma woke again.

The average person would take advantage of the few hours their newborn was asleep to actually catch some sleep themselves, but not Daryl. He was experiencing so many emotions that he felt like he might just blow up. He laid on his couch and watched Emma sleeping in her crib across the room.

He was both terrified and fascinated with the little girl all at once. Every time he picked her up, he feared he was going to break her. At the same time he was amazed and in disbelief that he could have created something so tiny and beautiful. Every noise she made sent him into a full-blown panic. He caught Ryanne trying to hide her laughter several times throughout the day when he fumbled trying to feed or change the baby. He was embarrassed, but that feeling went away when Ryanne went to leave.

“You did a great job today, Daryl, really. I'm proud of you.” she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “If you survive the night, I'll make you pancakes in the morning.”

Daryl didn't care about the pancakes, but seeing Ryanne in the morning made him more determined to do everything right that night. Something about her made him want to be so much better than he knew he was. She never judged him, or at least when she did it was only to mess with him, but he still wanted to impress her whenever he saw her. Of course that usually just ended in him not saying a word for fear that she might finally realize what a fuck up he was.

He still couldn't believe that Ryanne had actually showed up when he called her. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd asked someone for help. Ryanne was the first person to ever actually go out of their way to do something for him and she did it constantly. Granted, he'd seen her do stuff for other people, but never as much as she did for him. And how did he pay her back? Well, he didn't. How could he? Especially after this? There was no way to pay her back, at least not that he was capable of.

Daryl was pulled from his thoughts and back to reality when Emma began to cry. He got off the couch and walked over to her crib. “Hey, shh... it's OK, sweetheart.” he said as he lifted her up into his arms. “What's wrong?”

He rubbed her back gently as she continued to cry and he tried to figure out what she wanted. Daryl realized the last time he fed Emma was several hours before Ryanne had left and guessed that she must be hungry. He carried her to the kitchen and prepared a bottle of formula for her. Trying to hold her with just one hand was a frightening endeavor for Daryl, but he managed it.

“Here we go, sweetheart.” he said to the baby as he took a seat on the couch and held the bottle to her mouth. “This what you wanted?”

He sighed with relief when it turned out that his guess was indeed correct. When Emma was full he burped her like Ryanne had showed him and went to lay her back in her crib when she began to cry again.

“OK, I'm sorry, darlin'.” Daryl said, picking Emma back up. “What is it this time?”

He returned to the couch and noticed that the baby stopped crying once she'd settled in his arms. Daryl suddenly remembered what Ryanne had said to him about how babies just cry to tell you what they want.

“Did you just want to be held, sweetheart?” he asked his little girl who just stared back at him with her big blue eyes.

Daryl realized that Emma always cried when she was laid down. At least when she knew she was being set down anyway. Usually he or Ryanne got her to sleep before they put her in her crib or her car seat. He felt sick when he thought about why this would even upset her in the first place.

“You think I'm gonna leave you like your mama did, dontcha?” he said. “I'm not gonna leave you, Emma, I promise. I know I ain't the best at this, but I promise you I'm gonna try and I ain't gonna leave you.” Daryl was glad that Ryanne wasn't here to see him because he'd started to tear up. “I'm not gonna leave you, sweetheart. Guess you don't understand what I'm tellin' ya, so I'll hold onto ya til you get it, I don't mind. If you forgive me every time I mess up, I promise I won't go anywhere, OK?”

Daryl Dixon was trying to barter with a baby. Wouldn't Merle get a kick out of this.

“Everything's gonna be OK, sweetheart.” he promised as Emma finally closed her eyes and began to fall asleep. “I'm not goin' anywhere.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update. My laptop crashed and I had to go buy a new one in the middle of finals and then the files off the old one got corrupted. Then of course once I had time to post something just didn't feel right about this chapter. Anyway, I figured it out and here it is.  
> Thanks for taking the time to read my fic! <3


	6. Chapter 5

“Mornin' sunshine.” Ryanne grinned at Daryl as he opened his eyes. She giggled at the sight of his ruffled hair. “Breakfast is ready.” she added, reaching out to take Emma from him. “And how's little Emma this morning?” she cooed. “Did you give Daddy a hard time last night?”

“She was perfect.” Daryl said, reaching for the plate Ryanne had set on the coffee table.

“Then why did she sleep on you again?” Ryanne asked. “I mean, it's sweet, but it's not exactly the safest, Daryl. You could roll over or she could fall...”

Daryl felt ashamed. He thought he'd done well. He never even thought of those possibilities when he fell asleep holding his daughter.

“She's clearly OK though.” Ryanne added, realizing how sensitive Daryl was to any critiques she had. “Just try to break the habit, OK?”

Daryl nodded. “She won't sleep in her crib though.”

Ryanne furrowed her brow. “Yes she will. She was asleep when I left last night.”

Daryl shook his head. “Yeah, but she fell asleep in your arms 'fore you laid her down. She didn't know no one was holdin' her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, try settin' her down for a second.”

Ryanne kissed Emma's forehead and laid her on her back in the space between herself and Daryl on the couch. Instantly the baby began to wail. Ryanne quickly picked her back up and calmed her down by rubbing her back.

“See.” Daryl said. “Think she's afraid we're gonna leave her.”

Ryanne nodded and held Emma just a little tighter. Poor thing, of course she was afraid, she'd had no stability since she was born. “Just gonna have to show her she's safe then. Give her some stability. Bonding with her is gonna be really important, Daryl.”

Daryl smiled. “I know. Told her that last night.”

Ryanne smiled. She was surprised, but happy that Daryl was taking so well to fatherhood. “Yeah, how'd that conversation go?” she gently teased.

“We reached an agreement. If she forgives me for all the times I'm bound to screw up, I'm not gonna leave her.”

“You know, you're actually doing way better at this than even I thought you would,” Ryanne admitted, “And I'm your biggest fan, so that's somethin'.”

Daryl turned bright red. He wasn't used to so many compliments, even from Ryanne.

“I'm gonna clean up the kitchen.” Ryanne told him. “You should get a shower. We've got a lot to do today.”

 

* * *

 

“OK, so I've given it a lot of thought and I've come to a conclusion.” Ryanne said, sitting across the table from Daryl with a pile of papers spread out in front of her. “If you still plan to do this,” she paused, waiting for his confirmation and continued once he nodded. “You need a lawyer.”

“Shit, Ry, I ain't got money for a lawyer, I can't-”

“Money's not an issue, Daryl.” Ryanne cut him off.

If he weren't holding Emma, Daryl probably would have slammed his fist on the table in frustration. “Dammit, Ryanne, it's one thing you payin' for all o' Emma's things, but you ain't gonna pay for a goddamn lawyer!”

Ryanne shook her head. “I'm not.” she said. “Let me get to that.”

Daryl took a deep breath and sat back in his chair, giving Ryanne a chance to explain.

“At first I thought CPS would be your best route, but once I thought about it, I realized how useless they actually are in this case. They don't really handle custody, at least not in the way we want them to. To be honest, it's probably best we don't put you on their radar unless we have to. Now, here's where the lawyer comes in. Bobbi-Jo didn't legally relinquish custody, her name's on that birth certificate too. What that means is that she could waltz in here right now and take Emma back and still be within her legal rights.”

“You said somethin' 'bout Safe Haven laws?”

Ryanne shook her head. “Unless you just forgot to tell me that your trailer is a hospital or police station, her leaving the baby here doesn't fall under that law. What we've got to do is prove that Bobbi-Jo is an unfit mother, which I don't think will be too hard, but what makes things complicated is you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, now I don't want you to get discouraged because you're doing a fine job as a parent,” Ryanne continued. “But if Bobbi-Jo realizes what she could potentially get if she won custody, then her lawyer is going to try to tear you apart. Now, they say that justice is blind, but I'm sure you're aware that judges can be biased. You get some judge who buys into the idea that mothers are the more caring parent and you're gonna get even more trouble no matter what the lawyers say.” Ryanne stopped talking and flipping through her papers only to realize that Daryl was just staring at her, stunned. “You follow that?”

Daryl nodded, He looked down at Emma, clearly worried.

“Listen, it's gonna be fine.” Ryanne assured him. “I know a guy, owes me big time and he's a fantastic family court lawyer. We can give him a call this afternoon, I have his direct line.”

Finally Daryl looked up at Ryanne suspiciously. “How d'you know all this legal stuff? You a lawyer or somethin'?”

Ryanne bit her lip nervously. She realized she would have to tell him her secret eventually if she was going to commit to helping him and Emma, but she wondered exactly how much of the truth she should reveal. Everything felt like it would overwhelm him, especially given what she had just told him. Daryl didn't need any extra stress right now. The bare minimum made Ryanne feel horribly guilty, but she was afraid neither were ready for the details of her life before.

“Actually yeah, I passed the bar.” Ryanne replies. “Although I haven't practiced law in a few years, obviously.”

“Huh, never woulda taken you for the rich lawyer type.” Daryl said.

Ryanne laughed, relieved that her past might not be as obvious as she had thought. “Oh yeah, what did you think I did before?” she asked, immediately regretting the question. Did she really want to know what Daryl thought of her?

Daryl shrugged. “I dunno. Knew you worked for Elle for a couple a' summers. Figured you went to college, never thought you were tryna be a lawyer though.”

“And what exactly made me so unlike a lawyer?” Ryanne asked.

“Y'ain't stuck up.” Daryl replied. “Not many college girls would hang 'round a low-life like me, 'specially not a lawyer.”

There was a time when this kind of assumption would have offended Ryanne, but not anymore. She just laughed at Daryl's statement. No one back in Atlanta would have ever pictured her bartending and hanging out in a trailer with someone like Daryl Dixon, yet here she was and she had to admit, she felt more in her element than she ever did in the firm.

“I was never some spoiled, rich bitch, Daryl.” Ryanne confessed. “I grew up in a shitty trailer park, in a town just like this one. Granted, my mother thought she was queen of the trailer park, but we really were no different than everyone else. I had to fight like hell to get what I wanted.”

Daryl simply nodded. It was a lot to take in. Ryanne couldn't remember the last time she had willingly shared so much about herself. It was scary, sitting in silence, waiting for Daryl to respond.

“Guess that explains a lot about you.” Daryl said.

Ryanne frowned for a second until she considered Daryl's point. Her law degree probably sounded like a lie when one considered her current work and personality.

“Yeah, I guess it does.” Ryanne said. “Anyway, next item on the agenda: What are you going to do about work?”

“Shit, I didn't even think about that.” Daryl cursed. “Fuck, I can't do this, Ry! There's no way I can work and take care of her, but if I don't work I can't-”

“Stop.” Ryanne interrupted. She got up and walked around to the other side of the table and took Emma who had began to cry when Daryl started panicking. “It's not gonna do any good to just sit here and freak out. Just call Jesse and see what he says. He's your family, isn't he?”

Daryl nodded. “Yeah, he's my uncle.”

“Then I'm sure you'll be able to work something out. Plus I already said I'd help you.” Ryanne reassured him. “Go call him. I'll watch Emma, don't worry.”

 

* * *

 

What Ryanne had expected to be at least an hour long phone call lasted less than twenty minutes. Daryl emerged from somewhere in the back of the trailer with a weary look on his face and placed the cordless phone on the charger.

“What did he say?” Ryanne asked eagerly, making space for Daryl beside her on the couch.

Daryl collapsed beside her and leaned back, looking at the ceiling for a moment before looking at Ryanne. “Told me to take as long as I need. The shop ain't real busy this month, so it's no trouble for him to be short a mechanic. Said he'd send me anything I could work on here. Think that'd be fine? If I worked on stuff outside when Emma's asleep?”

Ryanne nodded. “Should be fine. We can get a baby monitor so you can hear her while you're working.”

Daryl nodded and grabbed a cigarette from the pack in his pocket. He put it in his mouth and was just about to light in when Ryanne interrupted him.

“Daryl! What the hell?” Ryanne exclaimed. “You can't smoke around Emma!”

Daryl put his lighter back in his pocket. “Sorry.” he said as he took the cigarette out of his mouth and returned it to the pack.

“Go outside,” Ryanne said, “She's dozing off now, I'll come out and have a smoke with you in a minute.”

Daryl did as he was told and Ryanne waited until she was sure Emma was fully asleep before setting her down in her crib.

“Never thought I'd see the day some woman was tellin' me what I can do in my own damn house.” Daryl said as Ryanne stepped outside.

She walked across the small porch and leaned against the railing beside Daryl. “Well, I'm not just 'some woman', now am I?” Ryanne teased as she extracted a cigarette from her own pack. “Got a light?”

“You ever got your own lighter?” Daryl said as he passed her his.

Ryanne shook her head. “Nah, I've got my Dad's favourite lighter, but I never take it anywhere in case I lose it. Keep sayin' I'll go an buy a cheap Bic or somethin' but I always forget.”

“Keep that one then.” Daryl said, his cigarette hanging from his mouth.

“Thanks.” Ryanne said after a long drag then pocketed Daryl's lighter.

“I owe you.” Daryl said. “Remember?”

They stood there in silence for a few minutes. Ryanne could tell Daryl was thankful for the peace and quiet. She knew he wasn't really one for words an felt rather guilty for forcing him to engage in so much conversation these last few days. It had to be done though. Nothing would be accomplished if Ryanne just let Daryl brood on this.

“So, you're sure this is what you want to do?” Ryanne asked. She wasn't sure where the question had come from. Perhaps there was still some part of her that had her doubts about this whole situation and perhaps after her talk with Rachel she felt that maybe she had pushed Daryl to a decision too soon.

“Why, think I'd change my mind?” Daryl countered, hostility in his voice.

“No, I-”

“Think I can't do this?” Daryl continued, getting louder. “Think I'm just some no-good redneck trash?!”

“Daryl, stop!” Ryanne yelled back. “You know that's not what I think of you, now stop it. I know you're a good man, Daryl. I just need to be sure that you're sure is all.”

Daryl folded his arms across his chest. “Yeah, I ain't one to change my mind.”

Ryanne leaned back against the railing of the porch. “I know, I just...” She paused and took a final drag of her cigarette before butting out and flicking it to the ground. “All the stuff I said yesterday, I feel like I made that decision for you, like I said all that stuff to make you do what I wanted.”

“Stop.” Daryl said, butting out his cigarette. “I needed to hear it. Can't think straight when stuff gets heavy, y'know? You clear it up, make me focus.”

Ryanne shifted nervously, unsure of the strange feeling that came over her at Daryl's words. She didn't have much time to dwell on it though as the decrepit railing gave out under her. Ryanne felt her heart skip a beat as she began to fall backwards. Daryl reached out and grabbed her by the wrist just in time.

“Holy shit.” Ryanne said as Daryl pulled her back up and steadied her.

“Y'alright?” Daryl asked, checking her over.

Ryanne blushed. She wasn't used to having a man's attention on her like this. The lascivious looks of her bar patrons were one thing, but this was different. This was genuine concern. Ryanne felt lightheaded, like she might fall again. “Yeah, I'm fine.” she managed. “Really need to get this place fixed up.”

“Need to get you fixed up first, girl.” Daryl said, his hands on Ryanne's waist. “You're bleedin'”

Ryanne looked to where Daryl's hand was and twisted herself, trying to see where she was injured. She couldn't see the wound, but she was beginning to feel it.

“Stop, you'll make it worse.” Daryl ordered. “Got a lot of splinters in there.” he said, pushing up her tank top to get a better look. The sensation of Daryl's skin against hers made Ryanne inhale sharply. “Looks like a nail tore into ya too. C'mon.” He held the door open for Ryanne and ushered her inside, his hand still on her lower back, guiding her into the tiny bathroom.

“Sit.” Daryl said and Ryanne perched herself on the edge of the bathtub.

Daryl opened the medicine cabinet and began to survey its contents.

“Daryl, are those painkillers?” Ryanne asked as she watched him.

“Yeah, 'n some other things.” Daryl replied.

“Am I safe to assume that neither you or Merle's names are on those prescriptions?” Ryanne inquired.

Daryl simply grunted in response. Ryanne decided she would address that problem later. Daryl found what he was looking for and turned to face her.

“Need to see your back.” Daryl said looking rather uncomfortable.

Ryanne swung her legs around so that her back was to Daryl. She leaned forward, allowing him to see her wound. She gritted her teeth as Daryl began to pull the splinters out of her skin. When he got the last of them he poured a generous amount of rubbing alcohol on Ryanne's back and she tensed at the feeling of the cold liquid running down her back and stinging in the wound.

“Almost over.” Daryl reassured her. He then dabbed the wound dry with a towel. “Should stop bleedin' real soon, 's not deep. Just needed to clean it out before it scabbed.”

Ryanne turned back around and came face to face with Daryl. “Thanks.” she said weakly. Why was she feeling like this around Daryl? Was his hand on her waist really giving her butterflies? Why was this all she could think of with a large open wound on her back that stung like hell?

“No problem.” Daryl said, still just inches from Ryanne's face.

They remained that way, just staring at each other for what felt like forever, but was in reality only several seconds until they were interrupted by Emma's cries. They both jumped, startled as if they had forgotten all about her in that moment.

“Better go see what she needs.” Daryl said awkwardly as he stood up, but his sight remained on Ryanne. He needed to be sure she was alright.

Ryanne smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I'll just be a minute.” She watched as Daryl left her alone in the tiny bathroom, shooting a quick glance over his shoulder at her before he disappeared from sight. Ryanne sighed once he was gone and took a moment to wonder what the hell had just happened.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently I just need to have a drink to cure my writer's block.  
> I hope everyone enjoyed that little bit of sexual tension between Ryanne and Daryl. Fair warning, this is going to be a very slow burn, but is there really another way with Daryl?  
> Also, I apologize if any of the legal stuff gets confusing. I'm going off of Canadian laws cuz I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around the American system.  
> I hope that I'm making Ryanne as mysterious as I think I am. She's got a lot of secrets and even when we get the truth, there's more to it or there will be more questions.  
> I'm also trying to rewrite my summary cuz it sounds lame and I think it makes the story sound like a sequel. Anyone got any suggestions for changes?  
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Comments are very much appreciated!


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry it's been so long. Here's an extra long chapter as an apology!

            “You're sure you want to do this?” Ryanne asked as Daryl parked the truck.

            Their eyes met and Daryl nodded. “Have to. He's my brother.”

            Ryanne worried about Daryl's loyalty to his brother sometimes. She knew Daryl wasn't stupid though, so why did he let Merle treat him so badly? Ryanne feared that a negative reaction from Merle might make Daryl change his mind about Emma.

            “OK,” Ryanne said. “Let's do this.”

            She took Emma from her car seat, figuring that Daryl's nervous demeanour would only upset the baby right now. As reluctant as Ryanne was about involving Merle so soon, she promised herself that she would support her friend through this so she bit the bullet and followed him inside the prison.

            As they passed through the routine security checks, Daryl got visibly more nervous.

            “You'd think you'd never visited your brother in prison before.” Ryanne joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

            “I haven't.” Daryl replied.

            Emma began to cry, presumably because of the prison's cold atmosphere. Ryanne held her closer and rubbed her back soothingly.

            “You've seriously never visited him before?” Ryanne asked Daryl.

            Daryl shrugged. “Yeah. Never had a reason to. Merle doesn't like havin' visitors while he's doin' time. We never even visited him in juvie.”

            Well, that explains a lot, Ryanne thought. Their childhood had left very different scars on Merle and Daryl. Ryanne almost felt sympathy for Merle. Almost.

            “Yo! Mrs. Whitten!” Ryanne heard someone call when they entered the visiting area and instinctively turned around.

            Daryl looked at her quizzically. “You know this punk?” he asked, looking at the young, tattooed Hispanic man who had called out to Ryanne.

            “No,” she lied.

            “Ryanne!” he called again.

            Fuck.

            “You sure?” Daryl asked. “Cuz there ain't many people named Ryanne 'round here.”

            “Mrs. Whitten, man you gotta come back from your break, yo, my new lawyer fuckin' sucks!” the man said to Ryanne. “He got me in here for two years man, maximum fucking sentence. I told him yo, Mrs. Whitten coulda talked that judge down to six months man.”

            “Sorry, I uh... I'm not a lawyer anymore.” Ryanne replied over Emma's cries.

            The man stood up and approached Ryanne. “What? C'mon-”

            Daryl and a prison guard simultaneously stepped between the prisoner and Ryanne. Ryanne took Daryl's hand and lead him away from the dispute, allowing the guard to take care of it.

            “Mrs. Whitten?” Daryl asked as they sat down at an empty table.

            Ryanne shook her head exasperatedly. “Yeah, that was just the name of the firm I worked at. Whitten and Associates. I represented him in an assault case years ago. He's so dumb he thought that my name was Whitten.” Ryanne lied.

            Daryl nodded, accepting her explanation.

            Ryanne felt relieved. After that altercation, dealing with Merle had to be easy.

            As if on cue, Daryl's brother stepped into the room and walked over to the table, laughing loudly.

            “Little brother, when I told you to give the bartender a nice tip, I didn't mean it like that.” Merle said, staring Daryl down.

            Daryl glared at his brother.

            Ryanne took a deep breath and tried not to let her frustration get the best of her. “Very funny, Merle.” she said. “Now if you're done with your stand-up act, Daryl's got something he needs to tell you.” She looked at Daryl, but she couldn't get a read on him. Underneath the table she placed her hand on his knee, hoping it would reassure him.

            Daryl looked at Emma and his body eased. He flashed a faint smile at Ryanne then looked Merle in the eye.

            “Merle, this is my daughter, Emma.” he said. “Your niece.”

            “Damn, brother.” Merle said. “But I ain't been in here that long. Last time I saw you, Ryanne, you weren't...”

            “She's not mine.” Ryanne said firmly. “But you know who's she is.”

            Merle looked at Daryl for an answer.

            “Bobbi-Jo Brightley.”

            Merle laughed hysterically. “No shit!”

            Ryanne watched as Daryl took a deep breath, collecting his courage for what he was about to say next.

            “Merle, I didn't come here so you could laugh at me.” he said. “I came to tell you that I ain't gonna take this from you anymore. I'm not gonna be your bitch anymore. I've got Emma to look out for now, and I don't need you messin' things up for me.”

            “After all I done for you-”

            “You ain't ever done shit for me, Merle.” Daryl said, raising his voice.

            “You can move outta my house then.”

            “Yeah? When was the last time you paid the bills, Merle?” Daryl said. “Last time I checked you weren't makin' any money in here and you were still just sittin' on your ass gettin' high all day before.”

            “Seems to me you were there too.” Merle sneered.

            “Doesn't matter.” Daryl said. “I've gotta change. Can't have any of that around Emma. She's not gonna grow up like we did.”

            Merle laughed. “You think you can change? Think you'll be any different from the ol' man? You're a Dixon, brother. Can't fix that.”

            “Fuck you, Merle.” Daryl said. “C'mon Ry, we're done here.”

            Ryanne shook her head at Merle. Although she did not know the details of the Dixons' upbringing, she knew he had crossed a line with Daryl. She hadn't expected Merle to react well to the news, but she hadn't expected this.

            She followed Daryl out of the prison. He was visibly angry, his breaths shallow, his fists clenched and his biceps flexing. Ryanne wished she knew what to say. The dynamic between Daryl and Merle was incomprehensible to her, but she knew standing up to his brother like this was not typical of Daryl. She knew how to handle his anger when it was at himself or at her, but this was strange new territory.

            “Daryl?” she said cautiously when they reached his truck.

            “What?” he snapped.

            “Don't get angry with me.” Ryanne ordered. “I just wanted to know if you were alright. I'm trying to be here for you, but you can't just push me away.”

            Daryl sighed and shook his head. “He's right.” he said. “I can't fuckin' change. Not even for her.”

            “You don't need to change. You're a good person, Daryl, you always have been.” Ryanne argued. “It's not your fault you were dealt a shitty hand. Just forget about Merle. Why is his opinion so important anyway?”

            Daryl butted out his cigarette on the ground and shrugged. “Dunno. Guess I'm just used to him always callin' the shots.”

            Ryanne nodded. “Daryl Dixon, you are perfectly capable of runnin' your own life and you sure as hell can raise your daughter, no matter what anyone tries to tell you.”

            Daryl was silent, but he reached out for his daughter. Ryanne smiled and passed Emma into his arms.

            “Hey sweetheart,” Daryl said, holding Emma tightly to his chest. “I'm sorry your uncle Merle's an asshole. You ready to go home now?”

            Within a few minutes of leaving the prison Emma has fallen asleep in her car seat. Ryanne and Daryl spent the rest of the long drive in a comfortable silence. It had taken a month and a half for Daryl to work up the courage to tell Merle about Emma, but nothing had gone as he'd hoped. Somehow none of that mattered with Ryanne by his side though.

 

* * *

 

            Ryanne took a seat at the table across from Merle. She couldn't believe she was at the prison two days in a row. She couldn't believe she was willingly visiting Merle Dixon. She stared seriously at him and reminded herself that she was here for Daryl and for Emma. This unpleasant exchange was to make their lives easier.

            “What brings you back here, sugartits?” Merle smiled at Ryanne.

            “Wow, creative nickname.” Ryanne said sarcastically. “I'm here to make a deal with you.”

            Merle laughed. “A deal? You wanna make a deal with me? Listen sweetheart, the way I see it, you're in no position to be offering me a deal. In fact, I've got enough shit on you that I'm gonna offer you a deal.”

            “Oh, you're got shit on me?” Ryanne responded. “It seems to me, Merle, that you're the one in prison, not me. My record is spotless. What kind of 'shit' could you possibly have on me?”

            “You've got a lot of friends in here, Lafferty. Lot of enemies too.” Merle said menacingly. “Now I ain’t no saint, but I sure as hell never lied to my brother.”

            “I've never lied to Daryl either.” Ryanne said. “He knows I used to be a lawyer.”

            “Daryl know about that ex-husband of yours? He know about your little mental breakdown? About how you killed your own kid? Get out of my brother's life or I'll tell him everything.”

            Ryanne was surprised at how much Merle had learned about her in the last twenty-four hours. It felt strange to hear someone speak aloud about her old life back in Atlanta, but Ryanne held her composure.

            “First of all, I didn't kill Aaron. I wasn't even home when it happened.” Ryanne said, feeling that was all the explanation Merle deserved. “Second of all, if you had any emotions at all you'd know that loss is a painful fucking experience. Yeah, I was messed up, but I'm here now.”

            “Think I'm gonna pity you or somethin'?” Merle said, unable to comprehend Ryanne's point. “Get out of Daryl's life.”

            “Why?” Ryanne challenged.

            Merle rolled his eyes. He clearly hadn't expected Ryanne to argue with him. Usually when he threatened people they didn't need to be told twice. “Cuz he don't need some skank tellin' him what to do with his life. Tryna play house or some shit like that.”

            “Oh, so you just don't want anyone else telling him what to do cuz that's your job, right?” Ryanne snapped. “Listen, I'm not trying to make Daryl be someone he's not and he's just my friend, it's not like you think.”

            “Damn, so he's putting up with your bitchin' and he's not even gettin' any?”

            “You talk a big game, Merle, but it has no effect on me.” Ryanne said. “I'm not afraid of you. I've spent most of my life around guys like you. We both care about Daryl, so you're gonna stop the bullshit right now. I know what it looks like from where you stand, but can you please just trust me when I tell you that it's not like that? I'm not trying to domesticate your brother, he asked me to help him with Emma because he has no idea what he's doing and wants to be a good father. I know you want to protect him, it's what you've done your whole life, isn't it? It's a hard thing to do behind bars though, so you're just acting like an asshole cuz you think it'll help. What Daryl wants and what you want for him are two very different things though, Merle.”

            “Well look at you, you cracked my psyche, Freud!” Merle laughed.

            “I don't have time for your defense mechanisms,” Ryanne declared. “So I'm just going to assume I'm right and you're too proud to admit it. If you want to help your brother, just tell him you support him. Let him raise his daughter without worrying if any of your friends are gonna show up and wave a gun in his face over your drug debts.”

            Merle's face quickly changed to an expression of what Ryanne could only describe as concern. “That happen?”

            Ryanne shrugged. “He never said so, but he was acting weird all last week. Gave me my own key cuz he won't answer the door for anyone and he got caller ID. I took my truck to Jesse's for an oil change and he said people have come by asking for Daryl.”

            “So? Daryl can handle himself.”

            “I know, I've seen him fight before. I know he's not afraid for himself, but Emma kind of changes things. Say these guys show up, looking for whatever money you owe them and they hurt Daryl, seriously hurt him. What happens to Emma? She gets hurt or is left without her only parent. Even if Daryl wins in this hypothetical fight, someone calls the cops. The cops see a bunch of drug dealers and weapons in the house and call CPS and they take Emma. There's too much potential for something bad here.”

            “And what do you want me to do? I can't exactly pay anyone back while I'm in here. Can't stop them either.”

            Ryanne nodded. “True, but it would ease Daryl's fears if you told him you wouldn't bring this stuff into his life once you get out of here.”

            “I'll see what I can do.”

            Ryanne reached out to shake Merle's hand. They had a deal, one they would never mention to Daryl. Ryanne felt sick going behind his back like this, but something needed to be done.

 

* * *

 

            “Hey, how was work?” Daryl called out when Ryanne parked her truck and stepped out.

            “Slow.” she replied as she walked into the garage where Daryl was working on an old Ford Taurus. “So I left early and decided to drop by. Is Emma asleep?”

            Daryl nodded and closed the hood of the car, wiping the grease on his hands off on his torn up jeans. Ryanne had never appreciated this view of Daryl up close before, only catching glimpses of him working from across the street. She thought of the marks all that grease would leave on her own skin if he threw her down on the hood of the car right now.

            Whoa, where did that thought come from? Ryanne wondered. She began to blush, embarrassed that the thought had even crossed her mind. Daryl was her friend, nothing more.

            “So, how was your day?” Ryanne asked, hoping Daryl didn't notice her face turning red.

            Daryl shrugged. “Emma's been fussy all day and this damn car can't be fixed.” he said, leading the way out of the garage.

            “Well, that's because it's a Ford.” Ryanne teased as Daryl lit up a cigarette.

            “Hey now,” he said, “Watch what you say or I won't let you borrow my lighter.”

            “Luckily I still haven't lost the one you gave me.” Ryanne grinned. She lit up a smoke and leaned against the garage. “So that's all that happened today?”

            “Well, Merle called.” Daryl answered.

            “Really?” Ryanne said, pretending to sound shocked. “What did he want?”

            “Apologized for yesterday and told me he'd find his own place when he gets out.” Daryl recounted the conversation. “Never expected Merle to apologize for anythin' before.”

            “Well, there's a first time for everything.” Ryanne said. “So are you gonna take his room and put Emma in yours?”

            Daryl shrugged. “Didn't really think about it, but I could. Having her crib in the living room makes me nervous anyway.”

            As if on cue, Emma's cries came through on the baby monitor Daryl now kept in the garage. Ryanne butted out her cigarette and entered the house followed by Daryl.

            “Hey sweetheart,” she said as she picked Emma up and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Did you have a good nap?”

            Emma stopped crying and settled into Ryanne's arms. Ryanne's heart ached every time she held the baby. She wasn't sure if it was because she loved Daryl's daughter or if she just missed her own child. Perhaps it was a mix of both. She was trying her hardest not to tear up and wondered if maybe Rachel had been right about getting too involved.

            “I'm gonna start moving my stuff into Merle's room. Mind feeding her while I'm at it?” Daryl asked.

            “Yeah, sure.” Ryanne agreed.

           

* * *

 

            “Why don't you just put your stuff in Merle's dresser and we can keep that one for Emma?” Ryanne suggested after Daryl had already began pushing his dresser out of his bedroom.

            “No opinion unless you're gonna help.” Daryl grumbled.

            “I am helping.” Ryanne replied. “I've got Emma.”

            Daryl huffed as he began dragging the dresser back into the room.

            “What colour are you gonna paint her room?” Ryanne asked.

            “Paint?” Daryl repeated. “Why d'I gotta paint it? She don't care.”

            Ryanne laughed. Daryl had a point. Emma wouldn't care, but Ryanne couldn't stand the idea of Emma living in such a bare and frankly gross room. “Alright, it needs some deep cleaning though, so I'm going to take Emma and go get some supplies and don't get mad if I come back with paint.”

            Daryl rolled his eyes and Ryanne turned on her heel to exit the room before he had a chance to protest her plan, but she stopped when he grabbed her by the shoulder. Ryanne turned around and gave Daryl a questioning look.

            “Gotta say goodbye.” Daryl said, hoisting Emma out of Ryanne's arms and giving her a kiss.

            Ryanne smiled, pleased with what a devoted father Daryl was becoming. She took Emma back from Daryl and said goodbye.

            Once Emma was buckled into her car seat and the truck was on the road, Ryanne breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't been aware that she had anything to feel relieved about, but it was beginning to become clearer. Ryanne enjoyed the time she spent with Daryl and Emma, but sometimes it was too much. At first Ryanne thought that being around Emma was overwhelming her, but she felt so comfortable with her. Ryanne looked to see Emma fixated on the toys attached to her car seat. No, despite her initial apprehension, taking care of Emma was not was was causing Ryanne such anxiety.

            Was it Daryl then?

            Ryanne stopped her musing as she parked the truck in front of the hardware store. She took Emma from the vehicle and carried her inside in her car seat, securing it in a shopping cart. The whole time Ryanne could feel people watching her. She looked around the store and noticed a pair of middle-aged women speaking in hushed tones and looking at her and Emma. Ryanne just rolled her eyes and pushed her cart down the aisle in search of cleaning supplies.

            “Well, I heard it's not even hers.” Ryanne heard one of the women say.

            No shit, Sherlock, Ryanne thought.

            “Well, I just feel bad for that poor baby.” the other woman said. “It's not like it chose to be a Dixon.”

            “You won't feel that way in sixteen years when it's selling drugs to your grandkids and sticking cherry bombs in your mailbox.” the first woman said.

            The second woman sighed. “I hope the social workers in this town actually do some good for once and take that baby to a better home.”

            Ryanne stopped, overwhelmed with anger. She could take a personal insult and she had heard her fair share of local gossip, but how dare these people bring an innocent baby into it? There was no holding her back. Ryanne whipped around the corner and stood in front of the two gossiping women.

            “Well, I hope people in this town learn to not be so goddamn judgmental about people they don't even know.” Ryanne spat.

            “How dare you!” the first woman gasped. “You're the reason this town has lost all its morals. You and that filthy bar!”

            “Well, your husband sure likes my bar.” Ryanne shrugged. “The amount he tips my girls, you'll have to take out a third mortgage soon. But I guess I have better things to do than talk about other people's lives at the hardware store, so bye.”

            Ryanne walked away, her hands still shaking while the two gossipers just stared at her. She quickly chose a paint colour and waited while a young employee mixed it for her. She impatiently tapped her foot, eager to get back to Daryl's house where she didn't have to hear the words of the judgmental locals. Once the paint was ready Ryanne quickly checked out of the store and loaded her purchases into the back of the truck.

            “I’m sorry about those mean ladies, honey.” Ryanne said as she buckled Emma into the truck. “You’re so much better than this town. So’s your daddy.”

            But I’m not, Ryanne thought as she turned the key in the ignition. As she drove she began to think deeply about her motives to move from Atlanta. Sure, she told everyone it was going to be a fresh start, but sometimes it felt like self-punishment. She knew there were no fresh starts in this old town, she wasn’t naïve, she’d been here before. She wasn’t making a new life for herself. In fact, Ryanne was doing the opposite. There was nothing here to remind her of what she had lost and she kept thick walls up so as to never have anything worth losing again. Ryanne hated to see the way people treated Daryl and were bound to treat Emma. Neither of them deserved it, but Ryanne believed she did.

            When Ryanne pulled into Daryl’s yard he stepped out of the trailer like he had been waiting since she left. Daryl took Ryanne’s paint and supplies from the truck while Ryanne brought Emma inside.

            “Thanks.” Ryanne said as Daryl placed everything on the kitchen table. “Why don’t you put Emma to bed and I’ll get the room ready?”

            Daryl simply nodded and Ryanne disappeared into what was now Emma’s nursery. Daryl and Emma had their bedtime ritual that Ryanne did not want to disrupt, but more importantly she needed to be alone with her thoughts.

            As Ryanne put painter’s tape around the wood trim, she remembered doing this before her son, Aaron was born. As per usual, she became angry with herself about everything that had happened. If she’d only been there, if she’d divorced Michael earlier, if she had given up her job… The what-ifs ate away at Ryanne as she worked until they were replaced with self-loathing. She was useless and terrible. Daryl and Emma didn’t need someone like her around. After tonight she would just stay out of their lives forever.

            “You sure it’s safe to paint with Emma in the house?” Daryl interrupted Ryanne’s thoughts. “What about fumes an’ shit?”

            “Yeah, it’s fine.” Ryanne said shakily, trying to disconnect from the thoughts she had gotten too wrapped up in. “This is some kind of low-toxicity paint. We’ll leave the window open just in case.”

            Daryl nodded and pried one of the paint cans open.

            “Huh, not as awful as I thought it’d be.” He said, referring to the colour, a shade of pink so pale one might almost mistake it for white.

            Ryanne didn’t respond. She poured the paint into a tray, dipped her roller in and got started on the walls.

            “Y’alright?” Daryl asked. Normally Ryanne would have some snappy remark to his comment.

            Ryanne shrugged. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just some family problem came up while I was out.” She lied, knowing Daryl had no interest in talking about someone else’s private issues.

            As Ryanne expected, Daryl dropped the question and got to work. They worked in total silence from that point on. The two were almost finished when Ryanne tripped as she was about to dip her brush in the paint. She reached out for Daryl in an attempt to steady herself, but collided her brush with his chest.

            “Shit!” Ryanne cursed, covering her face in embarrassment, “I’m sorry.”

            “Hey, it’s fine, Ry.” Daryl said. “C’mere.”

            Ryanne removed her hand from over her face to look at Daryl suspiciously. She cautiously stepped toward him, but she got the impression that he wanted her to come closer. Ryanne got close to Daryl like it was something they just did naturally. A devilish grin came over Daryl’s face and Ryanne tilted her face upwards, eyes closed, expecting him to kiss her. She received a face full of paint instead.

            “What the fuck?!” Ryanne exclaimed, taking several steps back and wiping the paint from her face.

            Daryl shrugged, as if he were innocent. “Looked like you could stand to lighten up a bit.”

            Ryanne dipped her brush in the paint tray and splattered Daryl right back. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Dixon.” She teased.

            “Oh, it’s on, Lafferty!” Daryl said, picking up the paint can and tossing its contents at Ryanne.

            Drenched in paint, Ryanne realized her body was now the greatest weapon in their little paint war. She laughed and launched herself at Daryl, pinning him to the ground. The wrestled each other on the floor until Ryanne stopped as she became aware of the territory they were about to cross in to.

            “Shit, what time is it? I have to meet Rachel to give her some payroll stuff.” Ryanne lied. She stood up quickly and was about to dash out of the room when Daryl stopped her.

            “Wait.” He said before leaving the room and returning a few seconds later with a towel and a t-shirt in his hand. “Here.”

            “Thanks.” Ryanne said. She hurriedly wiped the paint off of herself and shed her tank top, replacing it with Daryl’s shirt. “I’ll see you tomorrow, probably.” Ryanne said awkwardly before running to her truck.

            Ryanne sighed in relief when she was finally on the road. She was terrified of what had just happened between her and Daryl. She had almost kissed him. _Twice!_ She was in too deep and she knew this wouldn’t end well. She was a curse and Daryl deserved better. Ryanne needed to end this, but somehow still maintain their friendship.

            When Ryanne pulled into the parking lot of her bar she spotted Rachel sitting on the front steps, smoking a cigarette. Maybe the payroll excuse wasn’t a lie after all. Ryanne was getting rather negligent and forgetful about things at the bar since she started helping Daryl. She was unfathomably grateful for Rachel’s help these days.

            “Rachel, the payroll documents are on my desk in the apartment, you could have just gone up and got them.” Ryanne called as she got out of her truck. “You didn’t have to wait for me.”

            “And you didn’t have to come over here.” Rachel said, looking Ryanne up and down. “You were clearly busy.”

            Ryanne hadn’t even thought about how it would look to other people when she left Daryl’s house in his shirt with her hair a mess. “Shut up, we were painting Emma’s room and I got paint all over my shirt.”

            “Sure.” Rachel laughed.

            “Look!” Ryanne insisted, “I’ve still got some on my face!”

            “Mhmm, paint, sure.” Rachel said, holding in another bout of laughter.

            “Are you forgetting who signs your paycheck?” Ryanne threatened, jokingly of course. “Speaking of which, come on upstairs.”

            Rachel followed Ryanne up the back stairs to the apartment, laughing the whole way. Ryanne just rolled her eyes and handed her the stack of paperwork.

            “There, get lost.” Ryanne said, beginning to grow legitimately annoyed with Rachel.

            “Hey, I’m sorry.” Rachel said as she stopped laughing. “I know, you two aren’t a thing and you don’t want to be, but you have to admit, to someone who doesn’t know, that’s exactly what this looks like.”

            Ryanne knew exactly what it looked like. Those gossipy bitches at the hardware store has said it all. It looked like white trash romance. Why did people have such a hard time accepting that a man and a woman could be just friends? Why were they so quick to find fault when Ryanne was only helping her friend through a difficult time? Since when did Ryanne care what these people thought?

            “I should really get to sleep, Rach.” Ryanne said, hoping Rachel would get the hint. “Think you can handle opening and doing that paperwork tomorrow?”

            “’Course I can.” Rachel assured her. “I don’t see you enough anymore, Ry. Please, if you ever need to talk about things, give me a call,” She looked Ryanne dead in the eye, making sure to drive her point, “Seriously.”

            Ryanne forced a quick smile and thanked Rachel before showing her to the door. She sighed when she locked the door behind her. She knew she should be talking to someone, especially after the mental space she entered tonight, but how could she talk when she couldn’t even identify or name what she was feeling? All Ryanne knew was that the time she was now spending with Daryl and Emma was emotionally exhausting. Yet for something that drained her so much, she enjoyed it more than she’d enjoyed anything in years. She realized that no matter what she felt for Daryl, she could never risk telling him. Ryanne wouldn’t let anything ruin what they had.

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize again for how long it's taken me to update. I hit a quarter-life crisis around the time I last updated and then whenever I tried to work on this chapter nothing felt right and I've gone over it hundreds of times. Anyway, I hope you liked it and thank you all for sticking with me through this story.  
> Also, I'm so excited that I finally got to write Merle into the story. I think he might be one of my favourite characters to write because I feel like I really understand him and even identify with him on some level. Not as a racist redneck criminal, but more so in his relationship with his brother.   
> So I've already got some of the upcoming chapters started so hopefully there won't be as long a wait for them. Thanks again for reading!


	8. Chapter 7

“Hey.” Ryanne smiled back at Daryl as he opened the door for her.

            “What're you doin' here?” he asked. “Thought you were headin' outta town?”

            Ryanne shook her head. “Changed my mind.” she replied. “Gonna let me in?”

            Daryl stepped aside and let Ryanne enter the trailer. He noticed she had several gift bags in her hands and began to grow suspicious. “So, why'd you change your mind?” Daryl asked.

            “Well, hanging out with you and Emma sounded better than getting drunk in a graveyard.” Ryanne replied casually as she entered the kitchen and turned on the oven. “Where is Emma, anyway?”

            “She's asleep.” Daryl answered, even more confused as to what Ryanne was doing. “Why would you-”

            Ryanne turned around to look at Daryl. “Do you even know what day it is?” she asked.

            “It's Sunday, ain't it?”

            “Yeah, the third Sunday in June.” Ryanne said.

            Daryl just stared back at her. What the hell was she talking about? It was just another day.

            Ryanne rolled her eyes. “Daryl, it's Father's Day.”

            “Oh.” It had never occurred to him. It wasn't exactly a holiday worth celebrating in Daryl's experience so over the years he'd forgotten it even existed.

            Ryanne was oblivious to what was currently going through Daryl's mind. “Anyway, I just figured since Emma can't really do anything for you yet, I would.”

            “No.” Daryl didn't need Ryanne to come into his house and drag the skeletons out of his closet. He wanted her to get out. The nerve of her to come in here and act like this was a perfectly normal thing to do.

            “What?” Ryanne asked, visibly hurt and confused. “Daryl, I just-”

            Daryl shook his head. He didn't want to hurt Ryanne. He couldn't even look her in the eye, but he didn't want this. “No. Just get out.”

            “What the hell is wrong with you, Daryl?” Ryanne asked. “I try to do something nice for you and you treat me like this? Fuck you!”

            “Fuck you too!” Daryl yelled. “I don't deserve this! I don't deserve none a' the shit you do for me so just stop!”

            Ryanne took a step back and just looked at Daryl. Her expression turned from anger to sadness. “Daryl, how can you say those things about yourself?”

            “Cuz it's what everyone thinks, ain't it?” Daryl spat back. “I'm just worthless redneck garbage!”

            “Daryl, no one thinks that about you.” Ryanne said.

            Daryl huffed and looked away from Ryanne again. “My dad did.”

            Ryanne stepped forward and placed her hand gently on Daryl's bicep. “Is that why you're so upset?” she asked. “I'm sorry, Daryl. I didn't come here to upset you though. You know that right?”

            Daryl nodded, but he still couldn't look Ryanne in the eye.

            “And you know none of it's true right?” Ryanne pressed. “The things he said? Don't believe them.”

            Ryanne felt like a hypocrite telling Daryl not to believe anything his father might've said. Ryanne understood, she knew what it was like to hear your parent tell you how terrible you are. She forgot when she had stopped questioning it, or if she ever had. She accepted her mother's criticisms, the woman's words rang in her ears whenever she looked in a mirror, whenever she felt sad, whenever she thought about her son or her failed marriage. She was a failure, a curse, just like her mother had said, but Daryl? Daryl was one of the best people Ryanne had ever met and it pained her to think that he believed some asshole's abuse.

            “Ryanne, it ain't that easy.” Daryl protested.

            “I know, Daryl.” Ryanne said. “Trust me, I know better than you think I do, but could you at least try? Not for me, not even for yourself, but for Emma?”

            Daryl felt his chest tighten at the mention of his little girl. He wanted to give her the world, but he was so afraid that everything his father said was true, or worse, that he would be just like his father. He tried so hard not to think about it, but today had brought it all to the surface.

            “Cuz you know, the more you believe those things, the more they become true, right?” Ryanne continued when Daryl didn't respond immediately. “You're not worthless cuz you're that little girl's world, you're all she's got. And you're the best friend I've got in this whole damn world. You're not worthless, so can you please just accept just for today that I want to do something nice for you cuz you deserve it?”

            Daryl couldn't help but crack a smile, as faint as it might be. He wasn't used to compliments, they made him uneasy, like whoever was saying them was trying to get past his defenses before they attacked. But when Ryanne complimented him a feeling came over him like nothing he'd ever felt before. It was a warm feeling that started in his chest then quickly spread through his whole body. Whatever it was, he liked it.

            “I'm taking that as a yes.” Ryanne said triumphantly.

            Daryl shook his head. “You're crazy, girl. Y'know that, right?”

            Ryanne grinned. “Yep.” she agreed before turning back to the oven. “Can you get those steaks out of that grocery bag, please?”

            Daryl did as he was told and watched as Ryanne began to cook. He enjoyed watching her cook. She became so focused. It was like watching art, but with a more practical result in Daryl's opinion. Every meal she prepared was amazing. Daryl couldn't wait until he could go hunting again so that Ryanne might cook his kill.

            Daryl heard Emma wake up and went to retrieve her from her room. He returned to the kitchen with the crying baby and prepared a bottle for her while Ryanne continued working on their dinner. Daryl realized that in that moment the three of them looked like a real family. He quickly pushed the thought out of his mind though. Ryanne would never want to be with him like that.

            “How much longer?” Daryl asked as the smell of the food cooking on the stove top made his stomach growl.

            “Depends how you like your steak.” Ryanne said.

            “However you wanna cook 'em 's fine.” Daryl replied.

            “Alright.” Ryanne said. “Should be another half hour by the time I get the potatoes and the veggies done and dessert put in the oven. I don't s'pose you have any wine glasses here, do you?”

            Daryl laughed. “This look like the Ritz to you?”

            Ryanne rolled her eyes. “Guess we're drinkin' outta Solo cups then.” she teased. “Go sit down, you'll know when it's ready.”

            Daryl took Emma to the living room and sat on the sofa to finish feeding her. He thought about what Ryanne had said, about how he was Emma's entire world. The way the baby looked up at him as he fed her, he realized maybe Ryanne was right. Her entire existence depended on him. Daryl had thought in the beginning that he wasn't cut out to be a father, that he just wasn't capable, but here she was, happy and healthy. He loved her. He still had a hard time saying it, but he couldn't deny it. He would do anything for her. Maybe he wasn't like his own father after all. Another unfamiliar feeling came over Daryl and he realized that maybe it was pride. He had proved everyone wrong, himself included. In the two months that Emma had been in his care, Daryl had proved to be a better parent than any Dixon had ever been and he'd be damned if his baby would grow up to be just another redneck nobody like himself or Merle.

            “Hey, supper's ready.” Ryanne said, leaning over the back of the couch. “I'll take her so you can eat first.” she reached out and took Emma in her arms.

            “Smells delicious.” Daryl said as he sat down at the table.

            “Thanks.” Ryanne blushed as she took a seat to Daryl's right.

            “Tastes even better.” Daryl continued through a mouthful of food.

            Ryanne just laughed and took a sip of red wine out of a mason jar (Daryl as it turned out, not only didn't have wine glasses, but was also out of red Solo cups).

            “Why ain't you a chef, girl?”

            “Well, that was my intention when I bought the bar, actually.” Ryanne answered. “I just never got around to taking any of the food safety courses. Most of the food we serve is my recipes though.”

            “Don't tell me you went to culinary school too.” Daryl joked.

            The room fell silent and Ryanne got a far-off look on her face. Daryl mentally scolded himself. Stupid. Of course he'd said the wrong thing, he always did.

            “No.” she finally said after what felt like forever. “No, I didn't. I actually used to hate cooking. TV dinners and take-out were what I lived off of. After I quit my job at the firm I kind of just... I just stopped everything. It was like I was dead. I laid in bed and didn't eat or drink or move. I don't know if I was awake or asleep. I don't know how long I was like that, but I uh... I overdosed on painkillers in the end. I wasn't trying to die or anything, I just wanted to stop feeling things, y'know? My brother found me and I guess he saved my life.

            “When I was in the hospital I got sick every time I ate. It was like my body didn't know what food was anymore and it couldn't handle it. I had to be hooked up to feeding tubes. It was just horrible. When I finally got out and I felt better, it was like all my senses were changed, like I could smell and taste and hear everything so much more intensely. So I got really into cooking and experimenting with different flavors. I dunno, that sounds really dumb, but it kept me from going back to that half-dead comatose state again.”

            “Sorry.” Daryl said, guilty that his little comment had brought up something so painful for Ryanne.

            “It's alright. It's over now.” Ryanne smiled, but Daryl could still see a bit of the sadness in her eyes and she held Emma a little closer.

            “I get it.” Daryl said. “My mom, she used to get sad like that. Spent days lyin' in bed, drinkin' cheap wine and chainsmokin'. I used to try to make her smile or somethin', I dunno, but it was like she wasn't there.”

            “Did she get better?” Ryanne asked.

            Daryl shook his head. “Nah. She fell asleep with a cigarette lit and the whole house went up in flames.”

            Ryanne felt like she was choking. “Daryl... I'm sorry.”

            Daryl just shrugged. “'S alright. It was a long time ago.”

            Ryanne nodded and the two sat in silence for a while.

            “Hey, d'you want seconds?” Ryanne asked, hoping to take some of the tension away.

            “If you put any a' your cookin' in front of me, I'd eat it til I puked then eat some more.” Daryl said. “But I'll wait. Gimme Emma so you can eat.”

            Ryanne passed the baby back to Daryl and tore into her supper.

            “Y'ever cook deer before?” Daryl asked.

            Ryanne shook her head. “No, why?”

            “Well, I was thinkin' if I bagged a deer sometime, maybe you could cook it?” he asked cautiously. “We could have dinner like right now or somethin'. I dunno... just a thought.”

            “I could try.” Ryanne said. “I mean, it can't be too difficult. You miss hunting, don't you?”

            Daryl nodded. He hadn't been out hunting since before Emma came into his life. He missed it. Not just the tracking or the kill, but how quiet and peaceful it was. He was relaxed and in his element in the woods, not like he was with the baby.

            “Whenever you want to go, I can watch Emma.” Ryanne offered.

            “Really?”

            Ryanned nodded. “Yeah, of course I can. I could use some quality time with our little girl.” She froze. She hadn't meant to say “our”. She loved Emma, how could she not? But she wanted to keep her boundaries well-defined and make sure that Daryl understood that she was not going to be Emma's mother. She couldn't.

            Daryl didn't seem to notice though. Or if he did, he let it slide. “Sounds good. Ain't deer season yet though. How does squirrel sound?”

            Ryanne smiled. “I think I could figure something out. So long as you promise to skin and clean them though. I am not dealing with that.”

            Daryl laughed. “You can change Emma's diapers, but you can't skin game?”

            “So not the same thing. Not even close.” Ryanne said as she got up to clear the table. She returned from the kitchen just moments later with a plate of brownies. “Sorry they're just from a box mix. I wish I'd put more planning into this, but I kind of just grabbed some stuff from the grocery store on the way over.”

            “'S alright.” Daryl said, stuffing his face. “Tastes good anyway.”

            “Thanks.” Ryanne said. “Now hurry up and finish so you can open your presents!”

            Daryl had been hoping that Ryanne had forgotten about the gifts she'd carried into the house, or that by some miracle they weren't for him.

            “Here, this one first!” she said excitedly as she passed him the smaller of the two presents.

            “Ryanne, I've never...” Daryl began. He couldn't bring himself to open it. He didn't want to disappoint Ryanne though, she seemed so excited. “No one's ever...”

            Ryanne frowned a bit. “Daryl, are you tryin' to tell me that you've never gotten a present before?”

            Daryl shook his head.

            “Like ever ever?” Ryanne pressed.

            “No. Never.” Daryl said. “Never had no damn Christmas or birthday presents growin' up. Nothin'.” Daryl was ready to tell Ryanne to leave again. He expected her to judge him or worse, pity him and he didn't want her damn pity.

            “Well, now I feel stupid.” Ryanne said, surprising Daryl with her reaction. “If I'd known, I would have got you something much better for your first present ever.”

            “Didn't have to get me anything.” Daryl said.

            “Too bad. Open it.” Ryanne ordered.

            Daryl removed the tissue paper from the gift bag and reached inside, retrieving a small white box. Inside the box was a hunting knife with Daryl's initials engraved on the handle.

            “Do you like it?” Ryanne asked. She couldn't figure out if Daryl's silence was good or bad.

            “Yeah. It's... it's great.” Daryl said.

            Ryanne smiled. “Good. Now open the next one.”

            Daryl rolled his eyes at her and opened the larger present. Inside were several framed pictures of Emma and one of himself and Emma.

            “Ryanne...” Daryl began, but he was speechless.

            “Your walls are pretty bare, I thought they could use some pictures.” Ryanne said with a smile.

            “Thanks.” Daryl said. He truly was grateful. He was grateful for everything Ryanne did for him, but nothing could top this. Even if it was the only present anyone had ever given him, it was still the best.

            “You're welcome.” Ryanne said. She stood up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

            Daryl felt his whole body freeze every damn time she did that. What the hell was wrong with him?

            “Here, why don't you get Emma ready for bed?” Ryanne said, passing the baby to Daryl. “I'm gonna do the dishes and then we'll finish that bottle of wine.”

            Daryl agreed to Ryanne's plan, despite how little he cared for wine.

            “Whaddaya think, sweetheart? You gettin' tired?” he said to his daughter. She had been quiet all evening but had just started to fuss when he took her.

 

* * *

 

          “You OK?” Ryanne asked, passing the wine to Daryl.

            “Yeah.” Daryl grunted before taking a swig. “Why wouldn't I be?”

            “Well, you were a little pissed when I got here.” Ryanne reminded him.

            He shook his head and passed the wine back to Ryanne. “Nah, don't like to think about that stuff, but 's alright.”

            Ryanne took a deep gulp of the wine and leaned closer to Daryl. “So it was alright then?”

            “Yeah,” Daryl replied. “Today was good.”

            “Good.” Ryanne smiled, inching ever closer to him. “You deserve a good day.”

            Daryl shook his head. “Not as much as you do, girl. You do so damn much for me. For Emma.”

            “Stop it. I don't do nearly as much as you think I do.” Ryanne said. “You're really good with her you know? It's nice to see. Especially today...”

            “What were you sayin' 'bout a graveyard?” Daryl asked. He wasn't one to pry, or to even give a shit about other people's lives, but the way Ryanne had mentioned it so casually, but had been so damn insistent on everything being picture perfect today made him worry.

            “My dad.” Ryanne replied, the smile fading from her face. “I just really miss him.”

            “How'd it happen?” Daryl asked, hoping like hell it hadn't been as bad as what happened to his mother.

            “Accident.” Ryanne said flatly. “He was a trucker. Couple years ago he was drivin' and it was rainin' real bad and I dunno what happened, but he died, took a couple others with him too. It was just really unexpected, ya know?”

            “Sorry.”

            “I saw him. Not at the crash. It wasn't instant. I wish it had been though. I got to the hospital 'bout the same time he did. Saw them bring him in. Watched them try to save him. Internal bleedin' and severe head trauma. He woulda been brain dead even if they did save him, but he didn't make it out of surgery.

            “It just... Well, you probably know what it feels like. Like you're not supposed to want your parents dead, but you wish it'd been the other one.”

            Daryl just nodded. He knew that feeling all too well.

            “Bitch wouldn't even pay for the funeral.” Ryanne said spitefully. “Wouldn't buy a fucking casket spray or pitch in money for the headstone. But damn did she ever put on a show for everyone. And there I was-” Ryanne was about to say how she was six months pregnant at the time of her father's death and how the stress of everything had nearly caused her to miscarry, but she caught herself before she let it slip. “Just tryin' to hold it all together, and I wasn't even allowed to cry cuz it'd just be stealin' her fuckin' spotlight.” She was now chugging wine between each sentence. “Sorry. I know we don't really tell each other these things. I just... I needed to get it off my chest.”

            Daryl nodded. They hadn't told each other much about their lives before, but today had changed that. Daryl had always been afraid to tell people about his father's abuse. He was ashamed of it, but he also didn't want anyone's pity. Ryanne didn't seem to pity him though. She seemed to understand. He could tell it made her sad, but she didn't try to fix it, just tried to let him know that he wasn't what his father had him believe he was.

            He wasn't surprised by what Ryanne told him either. He didn't want to believe that a girl as smart and beautiful as Ryanne would ever get hurt like he did, but he knew better than that. Parents had a way of destroying their children.

            “You're not like him though.” Ryanne said, as if she knew exactly what Daryl was thinking.

            Daryl was beginning to believe her. Hell, if today could be so normal, maybe he wasn't so bad at this whole parenting thing.

            “Stop hoggin’ the booze, Lafferty.” Daryl said as his way of letting Ryanne know it was time to change the subject. He didn’t want to talk about his piece of shit father, he wanted to get drunk and stare at Ryanne. The way she smiled, the way she laughed… everything about her was perfect. He knew he had no right to call her his, but he could at least appreciate her, right?

            He took the bottle of wine from Ryanne and took a swig. Maybe it was just the liquor talking, but Daryl was feeling uncharacteristically confident tonight. He wanted Ryanne so badly, maybe he should just make a move already. After all, Ryanne had tried to kiss him a couple different times lately. He never said anything because he knew he would only make things weird, but he was certain that’s what was happening.

            Fuck it, Daryl thought as he set the bottle of wine on the coffee table then leaned in to kiss Ryanne. She made a noise somewhere between a gasp and a whimper when her lips collided with his. She didn’t stop him. In fact, Ryanne ran her fingers through Daryl’s hair and pulled him closer.

            It didn’t take long for Daryl to realize he had no clue what he was doing. On the rare occasion that he had ever made out with a girl before, it was always some drunk broad in some sleazy bar who was jamming her tongue down his throat. Yes, Ryanne was definitely drunk, he could taste the wine on her lips, but this was different.

            Ryanne pulled away for a quick breath then took control, straddling Daryl’s lap as she showed him how to properly make out. Daryl began to worry when he felt himself getting hard. When Ryanne noticed she grinned and started to unbuckle his belt, but Daryl grabbed her arms to stop her.

            “No, not like this.” he said.

            “You sure?” Ryanne asked.

            Daryl nodded. “Yeah, you’re too drunk for this.”

            “But I want you.” Ryanne begged, tracing her finger along the edge of Daryl’s belt.

Fuck if that image wouldn’t keep him up every night for the rest of his miserable life. Daryl didn’t want to stop where this was going, but he knew it wasn’t right. Ryanne was drunk. This wasn’t something she would do sober.

“C’mon, you should go to bed.” Daryl said, guiding Ryanne off of his lap and back to her spot beside him.

“Fine.” Ryanne pouted, fishing for her keys in her pocket.

“No,” Daryl said, “You’re not driving.”

“But I’m not drunk…” Ryanne mumbled as Daryl helped her off the sofa.

“Only drunks tell people they’re not drunk.” Daryl teased as he guided Ryanne down the hallway to his bedroom.

Ryanne collapsed on the bed and crawled under the blankets.

“Just holler if ya need anythin’.” Daryl said as he shut off the light and began to close the door.

“Wait!” Ryanned called. “Where are you going?”

“Gonna sleep on the sofa.” Daryl replied.

“No, come here!” Ryanne insisted. “I’m not gonna kick you out of your own bed.”

Daryl sighed. He was too exhausted to fight with Ryanne. He laid on top of the covers beside Ryanne. Satisfied with Daryl’s compliance, Ryanne shut her eyes and fell quickly into a drunken slumber.

When he was sure he wouldn’t wake her, Daryl quietly got up and left the room. He checked on Emma on his way past her room. She was sleeping peacefully, unaware of anything that had been happening on the other side of those walls.

Knowing he didn’t have long until the baby woke, Daryl settled into the sofa and shut his eyes. Try as he might, he could not fall asleep. He was still trying to process everything that had just happened between him and Ryanne.

Daryl hoped that Ryanne would forget it all when she woke the next morning. If she remembered it she would probably never speak to him again. She was gorgeous and smart and funny, Daryl had no right to even look at her, let alone kiss her like he did. He couldn’t let himself be so selfish again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've spent almost 2 months trying to get this chapter just right and I'm still not 100% satisfied, but I figured I've made you guys wait long enough and it's probably just a matter of my ridiculous perfectionism anyway.  
> So I hope you all enjoyed it. Feedback would be much appreciated and might help me in figuring out what to do when I have problems with a chapter again. Mostly I want to know what stuff you guys are liking and what you're not liking so much and then I can tweak it.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

Ryanne threw the dirty bar rag into the sink and sighed. She was so bored. It was an incredibly slow day at the bar with only a few regulars who never made much conversation, but that was the average Wednesday after all.

                Ryanne ran through her mental checklist of all the tasks she usually did to keep the bar operating, but couldn’t think of anything she hadn’t already completed. She prayed to whoever might be listening that there would be a large evening crowd.

                “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Rachel asked, returning from taking yet another beer to a man drinking alone on the far side of the bar.

                “Just how bored I am.” Ryanne complained.

                “Won’t be bored once Daryl gets back to work.” Rachel teased. “I’m sure you’ll been headin’ across the street every chance you get to get some action.”

                “Rachel!” Ryanne exclaimed. Rachel was the only person who knew about the sloppy drunken make-out session Ryanne and Daryl had had the week before and she was making it out to mean more than it actually did.

                The kiss was just the result of a lot of wine and built-up sexual frustration. Daryl hadn’t gotten laid since Emma came into his life and Ryanne hadn’t had any action in years. They were just two sad, horny people who spent way too much time together and let things go too far after too many drinks. At least that’s what Ryanne had told herself. It was the only way she could be around Daryl anymore without things getting awkward. That, and pretending like she forgot everything about that night.

                “Seriously, just fuck him already.” Rachel said.

                Ryanne rolled her eyes. “It’s not like that, Rach. I told you it was a mistake.”

                “Except that people always show what they really feel when they’re drunk.” Rachel argued.

                “What is your obsession with me and Daryl anyway?” Ryanne asked. “Why does it matter if we’re together or not?”

                Rachel shrugged. “Not much else to do around here.” She replied. “Plus I just want you to be happy, Ry! He makes you happy, right?”

                “Yeah, cuz he’s my friend.” Ryanne insisted.

                Rachel shook her head. “Does _our_ friendship lead to drunken make-out sessions?”

                Ryanne rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen so that the bar patrons wouldn’t hear their conversation.

                “Seriously, Rachel, drop it.” Ryanne said firmly. “It meant nothing.”

                “Maybe to you, but what about Daryl?” Rachel asked. “He kissed you first, didn’t he?”

                Ryanne was at a loss for words. She hadn’t thought about it like that before. Did Daryl like her? Sexually? Romantically? Why did it matter? She couldn’t reciprocate those feelings, Daryl would only get hurt. Ryanne was a curse and she couldn’t put him and Emma through that.

                “Oh my God! Look who it is!” A woman’s voice called obnoxiously somewhere beyond the kitchen door.

                “Looks like things might be getting a little less boring ‘round here.” Rachel said, stepping back out into the bar. She immediately stepped back into the kitchen when she realized who had just walked in.

                “You can’t go out there, Ry.” Rachel said.

                Ryanne scowled. “Who’s out there?” She tried to push past Rachel to see who it was.

                Rachel blocked the door. “No, Ryanne, you can’t.”

                Ryanne rolled her eyes. “C’mon Rach, I don’t care who it is, we’ve gotta serve them.”

                Rachel stepped out of the way and let Ryanne through the door. There was no stopping that woman when she was determined. Ryanne could only see the back of the newcomer’s head, but she would recognize that horrible blonde dye job anywhere.

                “Bobbi-Jo! How’ve ya been, girl?” the loud, obnoxious woman asked.

                “Pretty good now, Stace.” Bobbi-Jo replied. “Hey, can I get some service here please?” she snapped at Ryanne.

                Ryanne stood frozen in her tracks. Her hands were trembling and she couldn’t speak. Every molecule of her being wanted to bash this woman’s face in.

                “Hey, what can I get ya?” Rachel asked cheerfully after quickly stepping between Ryanne and Bobbi-Jo.

                “Double Jack and Coke.” Bobbi-Jo requested.

                Rachel nodded and turned on her heal. She headed back to the bar, dragging Ryanne with her. “Deep breaths.” She whispered to her boss. “Don’t do anything stupid, life already screwed her.”

                Ryanne inhaled deeply, trying to keep calm. She had never been much of a fighter, at least not physically anyway. What made her so well-suited to her previous job as a defense attorney was her quick fighting wit. She wasn’t likely to lunge at Bobbi-Jo, but she might have some choice words for her, given an excuse. Ryanne checked on the customers sitting at the bar, trying hard not to listen for that excuse.

                “So how’s the little one?” the obnoxious woman, Stace asked.

                Bobbi-Jo shrugged. “Wouldn’t know. Left her with her father and never looked back.”

                Ryanne clenched her fists. She knew it had been for the best when Bobbi-Jo left Emma with Daryl, that innocent little girl wouldn’t have to witness her mother’s addiction. But to hear that she didn’t give it a second thought made Ryanne’s blood boil.

                “Are you stupid?” Ryanne heard Stace ask. “Why would you do that?”

                “Cuz I wanted to get high and not have to worry ‘bout a kid.” Bobbi-Jo explained.

                Stace shook her head. “Yeah, but if you’d kept it you could get more money for drugs. Christ, Bobbi-Jo, I knew you were dumb, but not that dumb.”

                Bobbi-Jo looked like she’d just heard the most brilliant idea ever.

                Ryanne felt sick to her stomach. The glass she was holding fell from her trembling hand and shattered on the floor. Rachel rushed over to help her.

                “Get out of here.” She whispered. “Now.”

                “And go where?” Ryanne questioned. “I _live_ here. Remember?”

                Rachel rolled her eyes. “You know where to go.” She grabbed Ryanne by the wrist and dragged her through the kitchen and out the back door. “Just get away from here before you lose your temper.” She ordered before closing the door on Ryanne.

                Ryanne looked around the parking lot. Even if she had her keys on her, someone had blocked her truck in. She guessed it was probably Bobbi-Jo and pictured monster truck wheels on her old Chevy, driving it right over that bitch’s Pontiac. Ryanne had no wheels and only the tips stuffed into the pocket of her bar apron, but she knew she had to get as far from the bar as possible.

                Ryanne walked around to the front of the bar and dashed across the street to the garage where Daryl worked.

                “Jesse?” she called, “You here?”

                “Ryanne!” the man suddenly appeared from beneath a car and greeted her. “How’s things across the street?”

                “I own the only bar in a town where half of the population are alcoholics, so I’d say I’m doin’ pretty well, Jesse.”

                Jesse laughed and wiped his greasy hands on his coveralls. “You headin’ to Daryl’s?”

                Ryanne was surprised that Jesse had noticed how much time she had been spending with his nephew lately. “I would be if I had some wheels.”

                “Well, I got a favour to ask ya anyway.” Jesse said. “Need you to take that Ford there out for Daryl to work on.”

                “It’ll make it that far?” Ryanne asked, looking skeptically at the rusted old truck out front.

                “Yep, engine’s fine. Just needs some patchin’ up for inspection.” Jesse assured her. “How’s he holdin’ up anyway?”

                “Daryl’s alright.” Ryanne replied. “I think he’s going a little stir crazy though.”

                Jesse nodded. “Well, tell him me and the guys said hi.” He handed Ryanne the key to the truck and said goodbye.

                Ryanne waved as she drove out of the yard and turned right, the direction she would normally go if she were headed to Daryl’s. When she got several blocks away she turned down a side street and circled back around to the liquor store on the other side of Main Street. She popped in just long enough to buy a pint of whiskey then she hit the road again.

                With no destination in mind, Ryanne drove and drove. She figured she would drive until the old Ford quit then she’d carry on on foot. Her only desire was to get as far away from her bar as possible.

                The sun was setting and Ryanne fixated on the reds, pinks, and oranges that painted the sky. Why did ugly things happen in such a pretty world? She wanted to scream. Everything felt tainted and wrong and Ryanne felt helpless. Helpless against Bobbi-Jo, helpless against her own feelings, helpless in whatever it was that was happening between herself and Daryl.

                Ryanne felt a lump growing in her throat, threatening to choke her before she let the first sob out. She parked the truck on the side of the road and leaned over the steering wheel, sobbing.

                At first she didn’t know why she was so upset. Sure Bobbi-Jo was human garbage, but why should she cry? Emma was safe and happy with Daryl, she probably had no memory of the woman that gave birth to her. That child deserved so much better than Bobbi-Jo Brightley.

                How could that woman do that to her child though? Just leave her on someone’s doorstep and never give her a second thought. She might have understood if Bobbi-Jo had done it with Emma’s best interests in mind. In fact, that’s what Ryanne had originally believed until the woman opened her damn mouth in the bar that evening. Bobbi-Jo hadn’t left Emma because she wanted to give her the best possible life, she had left her because she was selfish.

                Ryanne punched the steering wheel in frustration. She would give up anything just to see her son one more time and here this woman could just dump her baby somewhere and never feel the slightest bit of remorse. The only thought that woman had given Emma since she left her with Daryl was when someone suggested she could get welfare for her.

                Ryanne screamed in agony. How could people like that have children when her baby that she loved with every fibre of her being was gone? It wasn’t fair. Nothing was fair. She’d known that all her life, but why couldn’t just that one thing gone right in her life?

                “Aaron…” she sobbed, allowing herself to say his name, something she rarely did.

                All she wanted was to hold him again. She regretted every time she had ever complained about his fussiness or waking her up in the middle of the night. She’d give anything to have it all back.

                Ryanne twisted the cap off the whiskey and chugged. It burned at the way down, but she didn’t care. She needed to feel a different kind of pain in that moment, one she knew she could survive.

                Her phone, which had been sitting on the seat beside her since she got in the truck began to ring. Ryanne wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath before answering.

                “Hello?” she said, hoping her voice didn’t reveal that she had been crying.

                “Hey, Ry,” Daryl greeted her. “Where are you? Jesse said you were bringin’ a truck over for me to look at.”

                “Uh… yeah, it was givin’ me some trouble and uh… I’ll be there soon, OK?” Ryanne was too messed up to even think of a decent lie.

                “Alright.” Daryl said.

                Ryanne hung up before Daryl could demand an explanation from her. She sealed the whiskey bottle and slid it under the seat. She wiped the final tears from her eyes then threw the truck into gear and sped off toward Daryl’s.

 

* * *

 

 

                Calling Ryanne had done nothing to settle the unease Daryl felt rising from the pit of his stomach. It scared him because it felt too familiar, like the feeling he used to get when he hid in his room, listening for his father to pass out in his arm chair so that he knew it was finally safe. Something was wrong, potentially dangerous and the worst part was its unpredictability. Something was wrong with Ryanne and Daryl was afraid of what it might be.

                On top of his anxiety, Daryl’s nerves were shot. His hands had a slight tremble that he had yet to notice. He hadn’t left the house in days, he was overtired and had been distant and perhaps even callous toward Ryanne since the night they kissed and Emma would not stop crying.

                “Please, please, sweet girl, just stop cryin’.” Daryl begged, at his wit’s end. “C’mon, ain’t nothin’ wrong, sweetheart.”

                He had been trying for nearly two hours to get her to sleep, but to no avail. This wasn’t normal. Their schedule had been running like clockwork for weeks now. He had been tempted to just put her to bed and let her cry herself to sleep – one of the parenting books Ryanne gave him suggested that, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Emma only cried harder and Daryl felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

                Daryl sighed. There was nothing he could do but try until Ryanne showed up and fixed everything, as always. That was if Ryanne ever showed up.

                There was no way she was even remotely close to Daryl’s house. It didn’t take an hour to get there from town. Something had to be wrong.

                Daryl was pacing the living room, rocking Emma when Ryanne finally showed up at the door twenty minutes later.

                “Hi.” She said, her voice trembling when Daryl opened the door.

                “Y’alright?” Daryl asked.

                “Y-yeah.” Ryanne nodded.

                It was obvious she was lying. Daryl stepped aside and let her into the house, catching the strong scent of alcohol as she passed. Ryanne took her usual seat on Daryl’s sofa. She perched on the edge, leaning forward, arms wrapped around herself like she was trying to hold it all together.

                “Ry,” Daryl said, closing the door, “You sure you’re alright?”

                Ryanne nodded, but looked like she was about to cry. “Can… can I hold Emma?” she asked timidly.

                “You’re drunk.” Daryl said.

                Ryanne didn’t try to fight or deny this claim. She’d do the same for Emma.

                “Ry, why’d you come here?” Daryl asked. He had no idea what she wanted or what the hell he was supposed to do about it.

                A couple tears rolled down Ryanne’s cheeks, but she only shook her head.

                Daryl never had much sympathy for people when they cried. People got worked up over such useless bullshit. He’d been through worse than most people and he didn’t cry over it. Crying wouldn’t change anything.

                He could see real pain behind Ryanne’s blank and distant expression though. He knew she’d been hiding something from her, but he’d always been OK with not knowing, there were things he’d rather keep to himself too. If she wasn’t going to tell him why the fuck she’d come here, what was she even doing? Was this just more head games? Like how she pretended they’d never kissed?

                “I saw her.” Ryanne finally confessed, leaving Daryl more confused than he was to begin with.

                “Who?”

                “Bobbi-Jo.” Ryanne replied.

                Daryl tensed at the sound of her name. She was more of a concept than a person in his mind these days. It had been almost a year since they’d slept together and he hadn’t seen her once since that night. Yet here he was raising their child. That was the extent of Bobbi-Jo’s impact on his life. It was a considerably huge impact, but he didn’t question her motivation and never once gave a second thought as to where she was.

                “I’m so angry, Daryl.” Ryanne said shakily. “I’m so angry. Why are you just standing there?”

                Daryl didn’t know what to say. The idea that Bobbi-Jo was not a concept, but an actual person who could walk in and out of his and Emma’s lives whenever she pleased frightened him.

                “Daryl, I think she might actually fight you for custody.” Ryanne said.

                Ryanne had mentioned the possibility during the first few days with Emma, but they hadn’t discussed it. It just hadn’t seemed likely.

                Daryl took a seat beside Ryanne and took a deep breath. He held Emma closer and kissed her forehead. Ryanne leaned up beside him and gently placed her hand on Emma’s back and the baby stopped crying.

Daryl could feel the warmth radiating from Ryanne. Normally he would pull away. He’d never let someone so close to him, especially someone showing affection which was so foreign to him. He knew it was meant for Emma though so he didn’t move. Despite the fact that Ryanne had been sobbing not thirty seconds ago Daryl found her presence oddly calming.

“I’m sorry.” She said softly, her eyes still focused on Emma. “I didn’t mean to get drunk and freak you out. It’s just… the things she was saying at the bar... I thought I was gonna rip her throat out. It was horrible.”

Daryl only nodded. He still had no clue what to say to Ryanne.

“Who could do that to this sweet little girl?” Ryanne continued. “Just leave her cuz meth is more important and then come back when you realize you can spend child support on drugs? That’s seriously fucked up.”

Daryl wondered why Ryanne was just stating the obvious. This was the kind of shit people did. It was fucked up, but it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for where they lived and the people they knew.

“We need to go see the lawyer first thing tomorrow. We need to figure out how we’re gonna fight her.” Ryanne said firmly.

Daryl sighed. “I got a better idea.” He said.

Ryanne looked at him with confusion. “What’s better than a solid argument in court?”

Daryl almost laughed at her. Clearly they had very different ideas of what justice meant.

“I thought about it when you first mentioned goin’ to court.” Daryl explained. “I’m gonna skip town. Just take Emma and disappear. I wasn’t gonna tell you, but…” But what? But since they’d kissed once, Ryanne would just drop everything and run away with him?

Ryanne couldn’t decide if Daryl’s idea was the dumbest or smartest thing she’d ever heard. As ridiculous as it sounded, it was actually quite do-able. It wasn’t likely that anyone would go looking for them. At the first sign of trouble they could just take off again. People did that kind of thing all the time to keep their kids from being taken away. They could live like outlaws.

Wait- had Daryl been telling her he was going, or inviting Ryanne to go along? What was Ryanne even thinking? Emma deserved a better life than that. She had gotten Daryl a fantastic lawyer and they would prove beyond a doubt that Emma should be with her father. There was no reason for them not to fight for that child.

“No.” Ryanne said. “You’re better than that. You’ll win, I promise. Look at this right here! Do you think Emma would be this well taken care of with Bobbi-Jo? Would she be as loved as she is here? Hell no. We’re going to court and we’re going to win.”

“You sure about this?”

Ryanne nodded. “Court is the only place I feel like I’m sure about anything.” She gave Daryl’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Promise you won’t skip town?”

“For now.” Daryl grumbled. That was enough to please Ryanne.

“Listen, about the other night…” Ryanne said, finally feeling confident enough to talk about it.

“Sorry.” Daryl said. “Won’t happen again.”

“No, I wanted to thank you.” Ryanne said. “You easily could’ve done more, but you didn’t. It’s been a while since I’ve been with someone and I don’t think I can just jump back in without getting hurt.”

“Told you, won’t happen again.” Daryl assured her.

Ryanne bit her lip and looked up at Daryl with her big green eyes. “What if I want it to?”

“You’re even drunker than last time.” Daryl protested.

Ryanne shrugged. “That doesn’t mean I can’t speak the truth.”

Daryl was uncomfortable. There weren’t many women he’d been with who’d ever come back for more. He didn’t know what to tell Ryanne. The thought that she might actually want him was terrifying. It was so tempting to just give in to her desires though. Thankfully Emma was there so Daryl had an easy excuse to leave the situation.

“I’m gonna put Emma to bed.” Daryl said.

“OK. Goodnight, sweetie.” Ryanne said. She kissed Emma on the forehead before Daryl stood and carried her off down the hallway.

Ryanne smiled as she watched Daryl walk away. Her day had started off so terribly, but now it didn’t matter. Spending time with Daryl and Emma made her so happy. She wondered why she had been fighting her feelings. Maybe Rachel was right, maybe it was time that Ryanne finally let herself be happy. Didn’t she deserve it after everything she’d been through? She sure deserved this more than someone like Bobbi-Jo did.

Ryanne had made up her mind. No more games, no more indecision, she was going after Daryl Dixon.

When Daryl finally re-emerged from Emma’s room he found Ryanne in the kitchen, focussed on a frying pan on the stovetop.

“Stir-fry.” Ryanne explained, sensing Daryl standing behind her. “I figured you probably hadn’t eaten yet.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Ryanne shrugged. “What else was I gonna do? You won’t let me go home drunk, but apparently making out is off the table now too.” She turned around to look at Daryl with a coy smile.

“Didn’t say it was off the table.” Daryl said, stepping closer to Ryanne. “I just want to know you’re sure.”

Ryanne nodded. “So you want me to sober up first?”

“Just need to know this is what you want.”

                Ryanne nodded. She put her hands on Daryl’s shoulders to steady herself as she stood on the tips of her toes to kiss him. He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to deepen their kiss. Ryanne sighed with pleasure, encouraging Daryl to go further. He lifted Ryanne up and set her on the kitchen counter then slipped his tongue past her lips. She wrapped her legs around Daryl’s midsection, wanting him closer. Ryanne took Daryl’s hands and placed them on her breasts, urging him to explore more of her body. Daryl slipped his hands into Ryanne’s tank top and gently massaged her breasts with his rough hands. He pulled his mouth from hers, letting her moans finally escape her mouth. He began to kiss a trail down her neck when she cried his name.

                “Daryl! Oh, fuck, Daryl!”

                “Thought you wanted to take it slow?” Daryl asked with a devilish grin.

                “No, fire!” Ryanne pulled away from Daryl and pointed at the stovetop where their supper had just became engulfed in flames.

                “Shit!” Daryl exclaimed. He quickly grabbed the frying pan by the handle and tossed it in the sink. He turned on the water and put out the flames. Ryanne opened the nearest window to let out the subsequent smoke.

“Well, so much for supper.” Ryanne laughed, her face still flushed from their make-out session.

Daryl shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“We could just skip supper.” Ryanne suggested.

Daryl had no objections. Ryanne closed the window and turned the burner off then followed Daryl to his bedroom.

Daryl remembered what Ryanne had said about taking things slow and felt similarly. The majority of his sexual encounters had been awkward and fueled by alcohol. He was afraid he would only disappoint Ryanne if they went any further.

They spent the night wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing, as giddy and innocent as a couple teenagers. Neither had any idea where this would lead, but it was a huge step for both of them to give this a try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Thanks for reading!  
> I was so not planning to have Ryanne and Daryl make out again so soon, but it felt right so I just went with it. I hope it seemed natural and in-character. I have a hard time writing smut, so please don't expect much more than descriptive make-out scenes.


	10. Chapter 10

Daryl shifted nervously in his seat. Emma must have sensed his discomfort because she began to whine in his arms.

                “Hey, shhhh, it’s alright.” He said to her softly, fully aware of the numerous women in the paediatrician’s office who were gawking at him. He rocked Emma gently, hoping it would calm the both of them.

                Daryl was nervous for this doctor’s appointment for several reasons, the first of which was the possibility that Emma might have some unseen side effect of her mother’s drug use. He had known since she first left the baby on his doorstep that it was a possibility, but living in denial had been so much easier. The thought that Emma might be sick or hurt from Bobbi-Jo’s stupid choices made Daryl angry. He also felt powerless because despite how he vowed to protect his daughter, there was nothing he could do about this.

                Daryl’s other apprehensions concerned Emma’s needles. He knew she needed them, not only for the sake of her health, but also so he could put her in daycare and get back to work. He couldn’t stand the thought of putting Emma through any kind of pain though.

                “She’s adorable.” A woman said as she took the seat next to Daryl. “Let me guess, your wife can’t stand to see her get her needles?”

                Ryanne had warned Daryl that there would be women like this, ones who would use Emma to get to him. This one wasn’t bad looking; long blonde hair, nice tits. She had nothing on Ryanne though. Daryl couldn’t think of any way he could avoid talking to her without missing Emma’s appointment though so he humoured her.

                “Nah, ain’t got no wife. I’m all she’s got.” Daryl explained.

                “Oh, that must be so hard on you.” The woman said. “I know what it’s like. Jamie’s dad left not long after he was born.” She pointed in the direction of a young boy who was playing with some legos in the corner.

                Yep, Ryanne had been right. Daryl wondered why he hadn’t just lied and told this chick he was married. He hoped the doctor would call him in soon so he could get out of this conversation.

                “You look like you’re doing a really good job though.” The woman said. “If you ever need any help with her though, I could-“

                “Emma Dixon?” the doctor poked her head out from behind her office door, saving Daryl just in time.

                Without a word Daryl carried Emma into the doctor’s office and took a seat.

                “So this is Emma.” The doctor said, taking a look at the baby. “I’m gonna give her a quick examination and then you can hold her while I give her her shots, alright, Mr. Dixon?”

                Daryl nodded and cautiously passed his daughter off to the doctor. Emma began to cry without her father’s presence, but Daryl hung back, trusting that the woman was experienced enough as a doctor that Emma would be fine.

                “So we don’t have any records on Emma or her mother. Do you know where we could get her medical history?” the doctor asked.

                “No idea.”

                “Do you know who delivered her?” the doctor asked, looking at Daryl with a suspicious scowl.

                Daryl shrugged. “Her ma just left her with me when she was a few days old. Ain’t seen the woman since. She’s got a bit of a habit.”

                The doctor nodded. Unfortunately this wasn’t a new story in her office.

                “Any idea what kind of a habit?” she asked. “So I know what to look for.”

                “Meth and booze is all I know.” Daryl offered. “We weren’t exactly datin’.”

                The doctor nodded and continued with her examination. “Well, she doesn’t appear to have any physical delays or abnormalities.”

                Daryl sighed in relief. The doctor passed Emma back to him and he rocked her in an attempt to calm her before the shots began.

                “You ready?” the doctor asked. “Just so you know, it’s always harder on the parent than the child.”

                Daryl nodded and took a deep breath. It might as well have been him taking these needles. The doctor stuck the first needle into Emma and the baby let out one of the loudest cries Daryl had ever heard her make.

                Emma’s cries didn’t stop after the needles. Daryl got her out to the truck as quickly as he could. He felt incredibly guilty for putting his little girl through so much pain. He had promised her he’d protect her and he had failed her. Daryl was disgusted with himself. He wasn’t fit to be Emma’s father.

                “I’m sorry, Emma.” Daryl said as he rocked her in the cab of his truck. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”

                Daryl was on the brink of tears himself, but he had to get Emma calmed down so he could focus on driving. She continued to wail until her cries turned into hiccupping, choking noises. Daryl rubbed Emma’s back, trying to soothe her. When her cries finally settled to a soft whimpering, Daryl buckled Emma into her car seat and started up the truck.

 

* * *

 

                “Hey!” Ryanne greeted Daryl as he entered the Rock and Rye. “I take it someone got their needles?” she said when she saw Emma who was still bawling.

                She picked Emma up out of her carrier and began to rock her. She calmed down slightly, but continued to cry. Ryanne looked at Daryl and noticed how stressed he looked. She knew how hard it was to see your child in pain.

                “Are you OK, Daryl?” Ryanne asked.

                Daryl nodded, just as Ryanne expected he would, but he looked like every nerve in his body was fried.

                “I was just about to leave, do you maybe want me to watch her for a while?” Ryanne suggested. “You look like you could use a break.”

                Daryl shook his head. “Nah, s’alright.”

                “Seriously Daryl, you haven’t had any time to yourself in months. Go take the bike out or go shoot something.” Ryanne urged. “Emma will be fine, I promise.”

                Daryl finally gave in. He knew Emma would be fine with Ryanne, but he felt guilty leaving her when she was so upset. “Alright.” He gave Emma a kiss then said goodbye to Ryanne before heading home to get his motorcycle.

 

* * *

 

                        Ryanne rolled over on Daryl's couch, cursing the spring that was poking into her ribcage. She heard a noise come from somewhere in the trailer and realized that maybe it wasn't the spring that had woke her. She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and looked down the trailer's one narrow hallway.

            The noise didn't sound like Emma, but Ryanne got up to check on the baby anyway. As quietly as she could she crept down the hall and opened the door to Emma's room. She found her sound asleep.

            “No!” she heard from further down the hallway. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please stop!”

            Ryanne felt her body freeze in fear. That was Daryl's voice and it sounded like someone was hurting him. She swallowed her fear and cautiously stepped toward his room at the end of the hallway. Nervously she turned the door handle, hoping she would wake up from whatever messed up dream she was currently having. It had to be a dream because in no possible scenario could she ever imagine Daryl Dixon crying out in pain like what she was hearing.

            Yet as Ryanne flicked on Daryl's bedroom light she realized that she was in fact not dreaming. Daryl was however. Or perhaps a night terror was a better term to describe what Ryanne was witnessing.

            “Daryl,” she said, approaching the bed. “Daryl, wake up.” She gently touched his shoulder and his eyes opened. “Hey, it's OK, it was just a dream.” she assured him before he could come to that conclusion himself.

            Daryl got out of bed before Ryanne could even step out of his way.

            “Get out.” he growled, standing over Ryanne.

            “What?” Ryanne said, utterly confused by Daryl's actions. “Daryl, I-”

            “Out.” he repeated.

            Most people wouldn't argue with Daryl Dixon if he was standing over them, shaking with anger and ordering them to leave. Not Ryanne.

            “No.” she said defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest. She was scared, never having felt threatened by Daryl before, but she wouldn't let it show. “Daryl, you need to calm down. Just breathe. There’s no good reason for you to be yellin' at me.”

            Daryl stood his ground. “I ain't gonna tell you again, bitch. Get the fuck out.”

            Ryanne felt like he had shoved a knife in her chest and twisted it. Daryl had never called her a bitch. She couldn't let him see how he hurt her though. “No.” she said firmly. “You don't get to speak to me like that, Daryl Dixon. What would you do if some guy spoke to Emma like that?”

            Ryanne watched the tension leave Daryl's body as he finally exhaled.

            “I just wanted to check on you, Daryl, you were yellin' in your sleep. Are you OK? It sounded like someone was hurting you.” Ryanne said.

            Daryl sat on the edge of his bed and hung his head. He couldn't lie to Ryanne, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth either. Where would he even begin? He hadn't had a dream about his father in a while, why did he have to have one when Ryanne was here?

            “Daryl,” Ryanne said softly, stepping toward him. “What's wrong?”

            Daryl shook his head silently. Ryanne cupped his cheek in her hand and tilted it upward so she could look him in the eye. He looked like a sad puppy who'd been kicked around.

            “It's OK.” she said, maintaining eye contact. “Whatever happened, it wasn't real. You're right here and you're safe.”

            Daryl shut his eyes tightly. How could Ryanne ever understand? It was real. It had happened, over and over and over again for as long as he could remember. Even when he finally got away, his father still found him when he slept at night. Sometimes he was a kid again, sometimes it was current, but no matter what Daryl was completely helpless to his attacks.

            “OK, you don't have to talk about it.” Ryanne said, growing more concerned for her friend by the second. “I'm gonna go get you a glass of water. Why don't you change your clothes? You're just drenched with sweat.”

            Daryl nodded and Ryanne smiled at him before exiting the room. She walked to the kitchen and turned on the tap. She grabbed a few ice cubes from the freezer and dropped them into a tall glass. She leaned forward on the counter, staring out the window into the night as the tap ran.

            What could have made Daryl so upset that he would get mad enough to threaten her like that? Why couldn't he say a word now?

            Ryanne had thought at first that maybe his dream had been about Emma. Lord knows Ryanne had enough terrifying dreams like that, even before she lost her son. But something seemed different about this particular dream. Normally when Daryl was concerned about Emma he asked Ryanne instead of turning silent like he did tonight.

            Ryanne filled the glass with the cold water and turned off the tap. She walked back down the hall to Daryl's room and dropped the glass when she saw him. He was standing shirtless with his back to the door, deep red scars covering his muscular back.

            “Daryl...” Ryanne said, rushing toward him, not even considering the broken glass on the floor.

            Daryl just fell to his knees. He never wanted Ryanne to see this, but there was no avoiding it now. He waited to hear her walk out the front door, but instead he felt her kneeling behind him.

            “Daryl?” she said gently. “Can I touch you? Is that OK?”

            Daryl was confused. Why was she asking to touch him? No one had ever asked him such a strange question before. Why did she want to?

            “Daryl, please say something.” Ryanne said.

            “OK.”

            “Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you.” Ryanne assured him as if she were talking to a wounded fawn who might run away at any sudden movement.

            Daryl felt Ryanne's hands, cold against his back as she traced each scar. He never even realized there were so many. Her soft lips brushed against each one.

            “I'm sorry, Daryl.” Ryanne whispered. “I'm so sorry.”

            Ryanne felt something inside of her break when she saw Daryl's scars. How could someone do that to another human being? She instinctively knew his father was the one who inflicted the pain. Why else would Daryl have been so afraid of becoming a father to Emma? Tears began to roll down Ryanne's cheeks, but she stayed silent. She couldn't let Daryl see how upset this made her. She needed to be there for him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. They stayed like this for what felt like hours when Ryanne finally broke the silence.

            “You're not him.” she said.

            “You don't know that.” Daryl said flatly.

            Ryanne stood up then extended her hand to help Daryl up. When he stood and faced her she took both his hands in her's.

            “You love Emma so much, Daryl. You would never do that to her.” Ryanne said, staring up into Daryl's eyes. “The thought of hurting her made you so sick that you were willing to give her up just to keep her safe. That's how I know.”

            The thought of anyone hurting his little girl made Daryl feel like he might just finally shatter into a million pieces. He leaned forward and rested his head on Ryanne's shoulder.

            “C'mon, let's get you back to bed.” Ryanne said, gently guiding Daryl.

            Daryl wasn't used to someone treating him like this. It scared him, but he also desperately wanted it. He thought of his mother, the only comfort in his life before Ryanne.

            “Stay.” he begged, grabbing Ryanne's hand as she straightened out his blankets.

            “Are you sure?” she asked and Daryl nodded.

            “OK.” Ryanne agreed.

            Daryl moved over to make room for her on the double bed. Ryanne got under the blankets beside Daryl. She stretched out her legs, but sat up, allowing Daryl to rest his head in her lap. She stroked his hair silently as she watched his breathing slow to its normal pace.

            Seeing Daryl like this scared Ryanne. He was always so tough, so closed-off emotionally. She had become used to it. Of course she had hoped he would soften, especially for Emma's sake, but she never wanted it to happen like this. The way he clung to her now shattered everything Ryanne had thought she knew about Daryl.

            Daryl hadn't wanted it to happen like this either. He was so angry when Ryanne woke him. He really thought he might have hurt her. He didn't want her to think of him as weak, yet here he was, needing her presence to fend off the nightmares. Daryl knew he couldn't have kept it up forever though, he couldn't hide his past from Ryanne now that they were so close. Now that she knew, it felt like a weight had been lifted from Daryl's shoulders. Nothing had been fixed, but everything felt lighter. Emotionally he was exhausted, but he couldn't fall asleep, not with Ryanne this close.

            “He can't hurt you anymore, Daryl.” Ryanne whispered.

            “Feels so real though.” Daryl mumbled, absently stroking Ryanne's thigh with his thumb.

            “I know, that's how night terrors work.” Ryanne said. “I’ve had them before too.”

            Now that Daryl’s secrets were exposed like this, Ryanne felt maybe it was time to tell him about Aaron. It was only fair, right? They couldn’t both be in pain right now though, it would be too overwhelming for both of them. Ryanne knew she had to tell Daryl soon though. They both swore there was nothing between them (Ryanne told Rachel it was just sexual, no attachments), but lying in Daryl’s bed, comforting him like this, Ryanne knew there was something more. It scared her, but she didn’t feel like running from it.

            “Just try and get some sleep, OK?” Ryanne said as she stroked Daryl’s hair. “I’ll be right here, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I kind of just cut the chapter off there because it was so emotional to write, I figured I'd give you guys some time to process. I actually cried quite a bit while writing this chapter. The next one should be a little more fun (this might be a lie, so please don't hold me to it).  
> Also, I feel like I should mention I don't condone a lot of the things Ryanne or Daryl do in this story. Like the drinking and driving or taking Emma into the bar. They're not things that are all that uncommon where I'm from though and I wanted this to be realistic. I also strongly believe that just because someone isn't your stereotypical, upper-middle class nuclear family doesn't mean they don't love their kids and can't be good parents. I grew up in biker bars and I turned out alright.


	11. Chapter 11

“No, Daryl, it was the next left!” Ryanne corrected him a little too late.

                “Fuck, Ry, how’m I s’posed to concentrate when you’ve got your hands all over me?!” Daryl argued.

                Ryanne backed off. She told herself Daryl was just tense because they were going to see the lawyer. He wasn’t actually mad at her.

                “Told you I should have drove.” Ryanne said, not one to give up a fight that easily.

                “And listen to you bitch about Fords the whole way to Atlanta? No way.”

                Ryanne sighed. “I’m sorry. If you take a right on Charleston it’ll take us back to where we need to be.”

                Daryl nodded and followed Ryanne’s directions. They drove the rest of the way to the lawyer’s office in silence. Ryanne hoped Emma would wake up and cut the tension.

She could feel her heart racing and her palms begin to sweat. Why did she think it was a good idea to go back to Atlanta?

They pulled into the parking lot and got out of the truck. Daryl’s old Ford looked out of place amongst the BMWs and Audis. For a brief moment Ryanne thought about how out of place her old Lexus would look parked outside of the Rock and Rye.

Once inside they were greeted by a woman whom Ryanne hadn’t seen in years.

“Andrea?” she said, looking at her former secretary.

                “Ryanne?” the older blonde woman asked, clearly confused. “What are you doing here?”

                “We have an appointment with Fitz for 2:30.” Ryanne replied, pointing to Daryl and Emma. She knew how it must have looked, the look on Andrea’s face said it all. She wanted to explain; she used to consider this woman her friend after all, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Frankly, Ryanne didn’t care what her old colleagues thought of her new life. The fact that her two lives were currently crossing was only because helping Daryl and Emma meant more to her than her pride.

                “Oh, uh… his last client just left.” Andrea explained. “You know which door is his, so you can head on in.”

                “Thanks.” Ryanne said. She smiled at Andrea and lead Daryl down the hallway to the laywer’s office.

                “You know her?” Daryl whispered to Ryanne.

                Ryanne nodded. “Yeah. Do you?”

                Daryl shook his head. “She looks familiar, but I can’t figure out how I know her.”              

                Ryanne found it weird that Daryl might know her former secretary, but she didn’t dwell on it long. They ascended the grand staircase and began to walk down a long hallway, lined with closed office doors on either side.

                “Lafferty!” a man’s voice called from one of the offices at the far end of the hallway.

                “Fitz!” Ryanne called back, skipping ahead of Daryl and entering her old friend’s office. Immediately Fitz wrapped her in a friendly hug. Ryanne was relieved to finally see someone she trusted in a city that betrayed her.

                “How’re you holding up, out there in the sticks?” Fitz asked Ryanne.

                “I’m doin’ just fine, Fitz.” She replied. “You should get out of the city some time. It’s a lot less stressful.”

                Fitz laughed and shook his head. “I think I’ll pass. I’d rather not come face to face with the epitome of America’s meth epidemic.”

                “Oh, so you’ve already met the opponent in this case?” Ryanne laughed. She motioned for Daryl to come closer.

He was standing awkwardly in the doorway, holding Emma and observing Ryanne’s interaction with the lawyer. She appeared to be the same Ryanne he knew despite the grey pencil skirt and blazer that were just a little too big for her. The way she spoke and carried herself was different though. Daryl imagined her doing this every single day, carrying on this strange secret life before they ever met while Daryl was just drifting around the state with his brother, doing whatever it was Merle decided they were doing that day. Their paths were never meant to cross, Daryl realized, but standing here in this posh Atlanta law office, he realized that her old life wasn’t the secret Ryanne kept hidden, it was him.

“Fitz, this is Daryl.” Ryanne introduced the two men.

The lawyer extended his hand to Daryl and Daryl hesitated for a moment before he shook it, squinting at Fitz the entire time.

This guy looked just like every damn lawyer Daryl had ever seen on TV. His suit looked like it cost more than Daryl made in a year and his hair was perfectly coiffed. When Daryl shook the man’s hand it felt like he must go for manicures every damn day. He was surprised the guy didn’t run to wash his hands after they had come into contact with Daryl’s rough and calloused one.

They took their seats around Fitz’s desk; the two men on opposite sides with Ryanne pulling a chair up to the side between the two like a mediator. Ryanne produced a file folder from her large purse and began explaining Daryl’s case, referring to documents in the folder whenever they were relevant.

Daryl didn’t say much. He nodded in agreement with Ryanne’s statements and gave brief explanations whenever she asked. He watched the way Ryanne smiled as she spoke to Fitz. He had never seen her smile like that, ear to ear, leaning into every word the lawyer said. Daryl didn’t like it.

“I know we were all counting on Bobbi-Jo not showing up for court and getting an easy win, but honestly, Fitz, I don’t think we’ve got that much luck between the three of us.” Ryanne said.

“What changed?” Fitz asked. He had been able to arrange a court date and have Bobbi-Jo served before ever meeting with Ryanne and Daryl. It had looked like it would be easy to argue that the woman had forfeited her parental rights when she left Emma on Daryl’s doorstep.

“She’s broke and wants either welfare or child support.” Ryanne explained. “I saw her at work a few days ago. I don’t think she knows that I’m involved with Daryl, otherwise she wouldn’t have yelled about it to the whole bar.”

_Involved_? What the fuck was that supposed to mean, Daryl wondered.

Fitz nodded. He pressed his fingers together while he took a moment to think. “I’ll contact one of the social workers at family court and arrange an in-home assessment.” He concluded.

“Social worker?” Daryl repeated. What the fuck was this guy on about? Weren’t they trying to avoid getting social workers involved?

“It’s fine, Daryl.” Ryanne assured him. “They’re just going to do a walk through and talk to you to make sure Emma’s taken care of.”

“If Bobbi-Jo is going to put up a fight we need some documentation and professional opinion that Emma’s better off with you.” Fitz explained. “Wouldn’t hurt to get something from her doctor as well. Do you have a criminal record?”

“Nah.” Daryl replied.

“If you do, get it expunged.” Fitz ordered, clearly not buying Daryl’s response. “I’m confident we’re going to win this case though. Clearly Emma is well taken care of.”

Daryl looked at his daughter and smiled. She was sleeping in her car seat and hadn’t stirred since they exited the highway and entered Atlanta. Daryl wasn’t surprised though, considering she hadn’t slept more than an hour or two the previous night. He would have to keep her awake the rest of the day though if he wanted to get her to sleep tonight. Daryl had to win this custody case. He didn’t think he could live without his daughter at this point.

Fitz rambled on about the details surrounding their court date while Daryl only half-listened. Ryanne took in every word the man said, nodding and jotting notes down on a piece of paper.

“Daryl,” Fitz said, “I believe Andrea has some papers for you to sign downstairs. I’ll be in touch with you before the end of next week. I think we can do the rest of our preparation over the phone and save you having to drive all the way back down here again.” He nodded at Daryl, signalling that it was time for him to leave.

Daryl got the message. He collected Emma and headed to the door. He shot Ryanne a glace before he left the room. She gave him a quick smile and a nod, but hung back at Fitz’s desk. Daryl made his way down to the front desk to sign whatever forms that familiar-looking secretary had for him.

“Hey,” Daryl said. “Got somethin’ for me to sign?”

“Yes,” Andrea replied. She shuffled through some papers on her desk and passed a couple to Daryl. “Just payment information really. This one says that you still have to pay if you don’t show for your court date and this one details your charges. I see Fitz is giving you the friends and family discount.”

Daryl nodded when he saw the total amount on the forms. “Yeah, owed Ry a favour I guess.”

“How long have you and Ryanne been…?”

“We ain’t.” Daryl cut her off. He practically threw the signed papers back at Andrea.

Andrea bit her lip and organized the forms. “Dixon?” she said, surprised at the name on the papers in front of her.

Daryl braced himself. It was never a good thing when someone recognized him by his last name. The Dixon name was notorious all through the state of Georgia apparently.

“You’re not related to Merle, are you?” Andrea pressed.

That would explain why this chick looked so familiar; Merle had fucked her. Daryl didn’t have time to respond as Ryanne suddenly appeared at his side.

“Ready to go?” she asked. “We don’t have a lot of time left to beat rush hour traffic.”

Daryl nodded. He was more than ready to leave Atlanta and all the rich, stuck-up lawyers.

“OK.” Ryanne said. “Bye Andrea, it was good seeing you again.”

“You too.” Andrea smiled back at her former boss.

Ryanne lead the way out of the office building. She secured Emma’s car seat in the cab of the truck as Daryl smokes a cigarette in the parking lot. Emma awoke when Daryl got in the truck. Ryanne focussed on keeping the baby quiet while Daryl navigated out of the city.

“So what kinda favour did he owe you anyway?” Daryl asked Ryanne once they were clear of Atlanta. The suspicion in his voice was hard to hide.

Ryanne shook her head. “The kind that’s hard to pay back.”

Daryl wasn’t expecting that answer. Certainly not with the suspicions he’s had.

“C’mon, can’t be that bad.” He pressed.

Ryanne shrugged. She was now staring out the passenger side window into the horizon. “Betrayal’s pretty hard to forgive.”

So maybe Daryl’s suspicions had been correct. A bad break-up wouldn’t make Ryanne get all distant and vague though, would it? She seemed like the kind of girl who moved on pretty quick after a few bitter but witty quips.

“I guess I should’ve counted on that before I went to law school, huh?” Ryanne mused aloud. “Lawyers ain’t exactly no band of brothers.”

Daryl cracked a smile. He was growing more positive that Ryanne had never been _involved_ with Fitz.

“Ya know, the whole time I lived in Atlanta I felt like something was wrong? I thought there was just something wrong with me, that maybe if I just worked harder I’d feel better doing what I was doing.” Ryanne paused and turned to face Daryl. “This feels right though. I know it’s not what people are supposed to want; going broke to own a bar in a crap-hole town, only havin’ two friends, livin’ in an apartment I’m pretty sure is haunted… But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I just wish I’d chose it sooner.”

Ryanne slowly leaned against Daryl’s side. He put an arm around her shoulder and let her rest. Whatever was on Ryanne’s mind, Daryl was confident now that it had nothing to do with ever being with Fitz.

After confessing a secret as dark as the abuse Daryl had suffered at the hands of his father, most people would expect a confession of the same calibre in return. Not Daryl though. If Ryanne wanted to keep her walls up, hell, he’d help her build them higher.

It was only a fluke that she had learned about his past, but Daryl had to admit that it felt kind of good to finally tell someone. He had lived with that secret for far too long. He was glad Ryanne was the one he revealed it to. She didn’t judge or pity him, she didn’t try to force him to see some shrink. She was good about it. She never brought it up, never asked if he wanted to talk about it. Whenever Daryl had a nightmare, or a moment where he doubted his ability to care for his daughter, Ryanne was right there to support him.

“We’re gonna win this.” Ryanne said, her eyelids growing heavy. She was emotionally drained from their day and was quickly falling asleep.

Daryl just nodded and let her drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo sorry for how long this chapter took. It'as actually been done for weeks, but for some reason I started writing the next chapter in the same document so it looked unfinished. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I enjoy writing the chapters that show a bit of Ryanne's life before she met Daryl. Also, I really like the idea of Merle and Andrea so I had to throw that in there.  
> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave some feedback! :)


	12. Chapter 12

“Daryl, did you put your crossbow in the garage?” Ryanne called to Daryl from the kitchen where she was scrubbing the inside of the oven.

                “Yeah.” Daryl replied, stepping into the kitchen and leaning on the counter, enjoying the view of Ryanne bent over. “Still don’t see why I can’t keep my bow in my damn house. This is America.”

                Ryanne rolled her eyes. “I know, but do you think the social worker’s gonna care?”

                “What kinda bullshit system is gonna tell me I can’t protect my daughter?” Daryl mumbled.

                Ryanne sighed and put her hands on her hips. “Seriously, Daryl, it’s only for a couple hours. We just need to make everything look as perfect as possible so they’ll write us a good assessment.”

                “Fine, but I don’t think they’re gonna be inspectin’ the damn oven.”

                “I know, but I need to do something to keep myself busy until they get here.” Ryanne confessed.

                “C’mere.” Daryl said, reaching out for Ryanne with one arm.

                Ryanne stepped forward and let Daryl wrap his arms around her.

                “Thank you.” He said. “Ya know I’d be screwed without ya, right?”

                Ryanne smiled. “And don’t you forget it.”

                Just then they heard Emma begin to cry, waking from her afternoon nap.

                “Wanna get her?” Ryanne asked. “My hands are kind of covered in chemicals.”

                Daryl nodded and went to get his daughter.

                “Hey sweetheart.” Daryl said as he picked Emma up out of her crib. “You have a good nap, girl?”

                Emma stopped crying as Daryl rocked her in his arms. Ryanne had begun to worry that the baby still cried whenever she was separated from her father, but Daryl didn’t think it was a problem. It made him feel more confident in his parenting that Emma felt better with him than without him.

                Daryl had spent the last few weeks in a state of denial, but in this moment he realized his time with Emma might be limited. He was scared and his nightmares had gotten worse. He was trying desperately to keep himself together so as not to upset Ryanne. Her anxiety was much more noticeable and Daryl felt responsible for maintaining her sanity in the weeks to come.

                “I love you, Emma.” Daryl said. He wanted to make every minute with his daughter count now that he might lose her. “Ya know I’m gonna protect you, right? No matter what happens, sweetheart. I’m gonna fight for you.”

                He held Emma tight against his chest. He would die before he let anyone take his daughter from him.

                “Hey.” Ryanne said. She was leaning against the door frame, smiling with her arms folded over her chest. How long had she been standing there?

                “Hey.”

                “I’ve cleaned everything there is to clean.” Ryanne informed Daryl. “How’s Emma?”

                “Fine.” Daryl replied.

                “You know, if the social worker can see what I’m seeing right now, you’ll be just fine.” Ryanne assured him.

                “Couldn’t do it without you though.” Daryl said.

                “No, you’ve always been capable of it.” Ryanne said. “You just needed someone to calm you down and talk some sense in to you the first couple of days.”

                “Still.”

                “Are you ready?”

                Daryl shook his head. He would never be ready for the social worker’s assessment, but he wished they’d hurry the hell up so the knot in his stomach would go away.

                Ryanne opened her mouth to say something, but stopped when her phone began to ring. “Who the hell is calling me?” she checked her caller ID and froze when she recognized the number. Immediately she declined the call.

                “Y’alright?” Daryl asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Ryanne said. Her phone began to ring again. She declined it a second time, but it started to ring again almost instantly.

In the midst of all this there was a knock at the front door. Ryanne shut her phone off and looked at Daryl. He nodded and they answered the door together.

“Are you Daryl Dixon?” a short blonde woman asked when they opened the door.

Daryl nodded.

“Oh thank god,” the woman said. “Sorry I’m late, your place is very difficult to find. I’m Mary-Anne.”

Daryl and Ryanne stepped aside to allow Mary-Anne to enter the house. The woman surveyed the room, clutching a clipboard to her chest.

“Feel free to look around or whatever it is you’re supposed to do.” Ryanne said, trying to fill the awkward silence.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” Mary-Anne said to Ryanne accusingly, as if Ryanne had no right to be at Daryl’s.

“Ryanne Lafferty.” She replied, reaching out to shake the woman’s hand.

“Oh, do you live with Mr. Dixon?” Mary-Anne asked, deliberately ignoring Ryanne’s attempt at a handshake.

“Uh… no.” Ryanne said.

“Ryanne’s a friend.” Daryl said, stepping in to defend her. “She helps me with Emma. Wasn’t exactly prepared when Emma’s mother dumped her here.”

Mary-Anne nodded, eyeing Ryanne suspiciously. “Alright, well I’m going to do the observational portion of the assessment now, if you could show me around the house, Mr. Dixon.”

“Sure.” Daryl agreed.

“I’m assuming this is your living room.” Mary-Anne stated, jotting some notes on her clipboard. “Could you show me Emma’s room?”

Daryl nodded and lead Mary-Anne down the hallway. He opened the door to Emma’s room and let Mary-Anne step inside to examine things.

“Hey,” Ryanne whispered joining Daryl in the hallway. “I’ve gotta make a call, think you’ll be alright for a few minutes?”

“Yeah.” Daryl replied. “What’s goin’ on?”

Ryanne shook her head. “Nothin’, just gonna call Rach and check on the bar.” She assured Daryl. She kissed him on the cheek, hoping he would understand how much she supported him.

Ryanne left the house and walked across the yard to her truck. She pulled her cellphone from her pocket and leaned against the tailgate. Scrolling through her missed calls she counted six consecutive calls from her mother. There was a lump in her throat and for a moment Ryanne thought she might actually be choking.

Despite having lived apart from her mother for more than a decade and not speaking to her for almost three years, Ryanne was still terrified of the woman. But how had she gotten Ryanne’s number? She had changed it when she left Atlanta. As far as she knew, her mother didn’t even know she was still in Georgia.

She wanted to run, get in her truck and drive as far away as she could, but she couldn’t leave Daryl alone with his court date so close.

It wasn’t really her mother she was afraid of. Ryanne felt she could finally tell her to leave her alone if she had to. No, it was who she might give her number to that scared Ryanne.

Ryanne blocked her number before calling the bar.

“Rock and Rye, Rachel speaking.”

“Oh thank God,” Ryanne sighed. “Rachel, I need you to listen carefully and _do not_ say my name out loud.”

“What’s going on?” Rachel asked.

“Who’s at the bar?” Ryanne demanded.

“Phil’s here, and Heath, Ray, and Lonnie, and Jesse just left…” Rachel listed.

“Anyone you don’t recognize?” Ryanne asked.

“There’s a couple guys who look like they’re on a road crew.” Rachel replied. “What’s going on?”

Ryanne sighed, unsure of what to tell Rachel. Of course she planned to tell her everything, but she didn’t know how this conversation might look to someone in the bar who might be looking for her. She had to play it safe.

“I can’t explain over the phone. Can you bring me some clothes from my apartment?” Ryanne asked, hoping her calmer tone and innocent request would keep Rachel from panicking. “Just drop them off at Daryl’s after you close? My cellphone charger too.”

“OK.” Rachel agreed. “Are you there now?”

“Yes.” Ryanne replied. “I’m safe here. I don’t want to go to the bar or be alone right now, but I’m safe here. I’ll explain later.”

“OK.” Rachel said. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Ryanne ended the call and returned her cell to her pocket. She looked at the trailer and noticed Mary-Anne was just leaving. She felt guilty for leaving Daryl alone for the assessment. She had promised she would be there and she had failed him.

“Hey,” Ryanne said, approaching the social worker as she unlocked her car. “How’d he do?”

Mary-Anne shook her head. “I’m afraid I can’t disclose the conclusion of my assessment.” She explained.

“Sorry, it’s just, Daryl’s been so anxious for this.” Ryanne apologized. “He hasn’t had much going for him lately. Emma is his world. I just wish there was some way for him to know how the custody case will go.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Lafferty. Your support means a lot to him though.” Mary-Anne said. She got in her car and closed the door.

Ryanne began to walk away when Mary-Anne started her engine. She turned around when she heard the car horn honk. She watched as Mary-Anne nodded at her and gave her a thumbs up before backing out of the driveway. Ryanne smiled, confident that this was the answer she had wanted from the social worker. It felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. She couldn’t tell Daryl what she had seen, but she hoped that he would sense it when he saw her.

When Ryanne re-entered the trailer, she found Daryl in the kitchen, holding Emma in one hand and trying to prepare her bottle with the other. Ryanne approached him and reached out to take the crying baby.

“Hey, sweetheart, shhhh… it’s alright.” She said as she rocked Emma. She noticed that Daryl’s hands were trembling. She touched his arm gently to steady him. “Want me to take over?”

Daryl shook his head. He finished what he was doing and reached out to take Emma back.

“Daryl, it’s fine.” Ryanne insisted. “You need a break, let me help you.”

“Can’t.” Daryl said. “I can’t let her go.”

Ryanne felt a pain in her chest. She finally understood what was going through Daryl’s head in that moment. If she’d been able to foresee the loss of her son, she would have been just as anxious and upset. It must have been like being tied to train tracks; Daryl could see what was coming, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. Ryanne dismissed the thought quickly so as not to delve too deep into the pain that laid just below her surface.

She watched as Daryl fed Emma. Just months ago Ryanne never could have imagined this sight. It amazed her how caring and protective Daryl was of his daughter and how completely trusting Emma was of him. This was why Daryl had to win the custody case. There was no way this would happen if Emma was with Bobbi-Jo.

“You’re awful quiet for once, Lafferty.” Daryl said, much calmer now.

Ryanne blushed. “Just got lost in my thoughts.” She said. “I’m gonna start supper. What d’you want?”

Daryl shrugged. “Might be a few deer steaks left in the freezer.”

Ryanne smiled. “Deer steaks it is.”

 

* * *

 

 

_Leaving work now. Be there soon._ Ryanne read the text from Rachel. She had forgot to tell Daryl she was coming over, but Ryanne was sure he wouldn’t mind.

“Hey, mind if Rachel stops by for a few?” Ryanne asked. “She’s just bringing over my phone charger.”

“Nah, s’alright.” Daryl said without taking his eyes off Emma. He was sitting on the floor with Emma in his arms and making funny faces at her as Emma smiled back at him.

Ryanne quickly snapped a picture on her phone. She truly enjoyed these moments with Daryl and Emma. To anyone who didn’t know them, they might look like a real family. Ryanne felt more comfortable than she had in years. She feared that maybe she was getting _too_ comfortable, spending more time at Daryl’s than she did at work or at her own place. As long as Daryl didn’t acknowledge it though, Ryanne would continue in blissful ignorance. The truth was that being with them made her happy and she was too selfish to give that up yet.

Some time passed before Ryanne saw Rachel’s headlights pull into Daryl’s driveway. She leapt up from the sofa and went to meet Rachel at the door. With all the time she had been spending at Daryl’s lately, she hardly saw her friend except in passing at the bar. Ryanne was excited to see Rachel, even if she only stayed for a cigarette.

“Hey!” Rachel said and wrapped Ryanne in a hug. She let her go and handed her a bag with the things Ryanne had requested.

“Thank you.” Ryanne said.

“No problem.” Rachel replied. “Hey Daryl.”

“Hey.” Daryl nodded at her as he got up from the living room floor. “I’m gonna put Emma to bed.” He said to Ryanne. “I’ll see you in a few.”

Ryanne smiled and nodded. She waited until Daryl entered Emma’s room before she ushered Rachel out the door.

“OK, tell me what’s going on.” Rachel demanded as soon as the two women stepped onto the deck.

Ryanne stared into the horizon as she lit a cigarette. She took a long, deep drag before she said it, “My mother got my number.”

“Shit.” Rachel said, lighting her own cigarette. “You think she’ll try anything?”

Ryanned continued to stare blankly ahead. “Not herself. No, she doesn’t do shit for herself.” She predicted. “I think she’ll give my number to Michael though…”

“Fuck.” Rachel cursed. “Why the fuck would she do that?”

Ryanne shrugged. “Cuz what I want doesn’t matter. It’s all about what makes her look good.”

“First thing tomorrow we’ll go change your number.” Rachel stated. “He won’t be able to find you then.”

Ryanne shook her head. “Doesn’t matter what my number is, he can figure out where I am from the area code.”

Rachel uttered a string of curses and kicked a can of cigarette butts off the deck. “This is bullshit!” she exclaimed.

“Please don’t tell anyone.” Ryanne begged. “Especially not Daryl. He’s got enough to worry about right now.”

“What else do you need?” Rachel asked. “Name anything. I’ll do it.”

Ryanne teared up a bit. No one had ever offered her help when it came to her ex-husband. Even those who would normally support her refused to take the risk of pissing off Michael Whitten.

“Just don’t talk about me near anyone we don’t know.” Ryanne said. “Keep an eye out for anything suspicious and don’t let me stay at the bar alone.”

Rachel nodded. “You got it, boss.”

“Thank you.”

The girls finished their cigarettes and Rachel went home, certain that Ryanne would be safe with Daryl for now. Only an idiot would mess with a Dixon.

Ryanne got in bed while Daryl was in the shower. She took the opposite side from where she usually slept, facing the window now instead of the bedroom door. She curled up under the blankets and waited to fall asleep, her new worries weighing heavily on her.

Daryl thought it rather odd that Ryanne had taken his side of the bed, but since she appeared to already be asleep he said nothing. He felt guilty for what she must be going through to help him take care of Emma. Quietly he got in bed next to her and pulled her close to him, hoping her presence would keep the nightmares at bay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished this chapter! Finally! Now time for the really exciting stuff!!  
> As always, feedback is much appreciated!  
> Thanks for reading! :)


	13. Chapter 13

Ryanne watched silently as Fitz plead Daryl’s case. She wanted so desperately to jump up and take over, wishing she had never given up her former job. Fitz’s arguments were nowhere near as heated as Ryanne thought they should be. She took a deep breath and assured herself it was fine. Fitz was a great lawyer after all, Ryanne had seen him win many tough cases back in Atlanta.

Daryl looked detached the entire time. He stared blankly at the stand and only spoke when Fitz instructed him to, following Ryanne’s coaching. Ryanne understood though, Daryl was most likely wondering if he had just kissed Emma goodbye for good.

From the beginning Ryanne could not tell which way the hearing would go. Bobbi-Jo’s lawyer was surprisingly good and was able to counter every argument Fitz had. She argued that Bobbi-Jo was suffering from post-partum depression when she left Emma on Daryl’s doorstep, that she had made a mistake and now only wanted to correct it.

Fitz was quick to point out that Bobbi-Jo had made no attempt to rectify her alleged mistake with Daryl. He submitted the letter Bobbi-Jo had left with Emma that night, emphasis on “I need a fix.”

“This is a woman who prioritizes drugs over her newborn daughter.” Fitz stated. “How is that a safe home for Emma to go to? Especially given Miss Brightley’s recent arrest for drug trafficking?”

Ryanne could tell by the look on the judge’s face, despite his attempts to look neutral, that this was the key to winning the case. If she knew it, surely Fitz knew it.

“Mr. Fitzgerald, this is a custody hearing.” The judge reminded him. “We are not here to debate Miss Brightley’s guilt in criminal charges.”

Fitz nodded and a smug smile spread across his face. Ryanne knew that smile from mock court back in law school. Fitz was in the home stretch, his next few words could very well seal the deal and he knew it.

“I understand, your honour.” He said respectfully. “Surely though, the fact that drug trafficking was ever even _suspected_ in Miss Brightley’s home is enough to deny her custody of Emma. If she had never carelessly dumped her newborn baby on my client’s doorstep, Child Protective Services would have certainly removed the child when Miss Brightley was arrested. The fact that Miss Brightley is even fighting for full custody, knowing she is currently facing a felony conviction is downright selfish and a deliberate and spiteful attack against my client. Your honour, I beg you to consider the safety of this child and award full custody to my client.”

“Do you have any final arguments, Ms. Baker?” the judge asked Bobbi-Jo’s lawyer.

The woman looked completely dumbfounded by Fitz’s argument. “No, your honour.” She said shakily. Ryanne wondered if she had even known about Bobbi-Jo’s trafficking charge.

“We’ll take a brief recess while I deliberate.” The judge said, tapping his gavel on the stand.

Ryanne quickly stood up and reached out for Daryl. He took her hand, but continued to look distant. She wanted to say something to assure him, but words failed her. All they could do was wait.

Fitz led them out of the court room. His expression was intense and he remained as silent as Daryl and Ryanne. Ryanne could tell he was really invested in this case.

Ryanne held Daryl’s hand tightly, a silent expression of her support. She felt him begin to shake so she gently stoked the back of his hand, hoping it would calm his nerves. She wanted to tell him it would be OK, but words had no meaning now. She had no way to truly know what the judge would decide. Ryanne allowed her heart to begin to slowly break so that maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much when the judge ruled against them.

It felt like hours had passed when they were ushered back into the courtroom, but it had only been about thirty minutes. Ryanne gave Daryl’s hand a reassuring squeeze before they took their separate seats and stood for the judge to enter.

“Miss Brightley,” the judge said. Ryanne’s heart skipped a beat. She was afraid of what the judge would say next. “You claim that you made a mistake when you left your daughter on Mr. Dixon’s doorstep. I find it hard to believe this was a mistake because of your lack of attempts to contact Mr. Dixon regarding your child. Had you left your baby anywhere else in the state of Georgia, you would have been charged with child neglect and been denied parental rights. Mr. Dixon has gone to great measures to ensure your daughter remains in his custody and the court social worker reports that Emma is thriving in his care. I hereby award full custody of Emma to Mr. Dixon. Court dismissed.”

Ryanne and Daryl jumped from their seats simultaneously and hugged each other.

“We did it!” Ryanne exclaimed with tears in her eyes.

Daryl remained silent, still in disbelief.

“Come on,” Fitz said, clapping Daryl on the shoulder. “Let’s go get your girl.”

Outside the courtroom a court social worker passed Emma back to Daryl. He held her like it was the first time, as if he could finally have that moment now that everything was official and there was no chance of Emma being taken away.

“Told ya we’d win, didn’t I, sweetheart?” he said as he cuddled his daughter.

Ryanne smiled. She couldn’t believe the difference in Daryl. It was as if all the stress had left his body the second the judge gave his verdict. Ryanne had never seen Daryl so happy.

“Thank you.” Ryanne said quietly to Fitz.

“Don’t worry.” Fitz said. “I still owe you.”

Ryanne hugged her old friend. She never thought she would ever regain his allegiance after her divorce.

“You know, we could use you back in Atlanta.” Fitz said when they broke their hug.

Ryanne shook her head. “I’ve got more important things here.” She said, entirely confident in her decision to leave her firm.

Fitz nodded. If Ryanne was happy he wouldn’t take that away from her, not given everything she had already lost. “Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you, Fitz,” Ryanne repeated. “For everything.”

“Anytime, Lafferty.” Fitz said with a nod. He walked up to Daryl and clapped him on the shoulder again. “Congratulations, Daryl.”

“Thanks.” Daryl said, finally looking away from his daughter.

Fitz said goodbye and left the courthouse. Ryanne took Daryl by the hand and lead him outside to his truck.

“I’ll drive.” Ryanne offered. “You seem a little preoccupied.”

Daryl hardly even heard her as he secured Emma in her car seat. Ryanne sent a quick text to Rachel to let her know the outcome before getting behind the wheel.

 

* * *

 

Ryanne tapped her foot nervously on the floor as she sat on the edge of Daryl’s sofa. She had finished cleaning up from supper and Daryl had just gone to put Emma to bed. Ryanne was afraid of what might happen when Daryl came back out.

Daryl no longer needed Ryanne’s help with Emma. He could take care of her without Ryanne’s help now and he had finally won legal custody. There was no reason for Ryanne to stick around, but she did not want to leave.

Ryanne tried to tell herself it was because her crazy ex might be stalking her apartment, but that wasn’t it. Not entirely, anyway. No, Ryanne had gotten attached like she had promised herself she wouldn’t. Now she wondered if Daryl had grown just as attached to her. What would he say when he came back out now that they had successfully tackled everything together?

Daryl returned to the living room, but stood at a distance from Ryanne. He had changed out of the shirt and tie Ryanne had made him wear to court and was now wearing a faded band shirt that clung to every muscle in his upper body and a pair of ripped, oil-stained jeans. He bit his lip as he looked at Ryanne. She assumed he must be as nervous and unsure as she was.

Ryanne opened her mouth to speak, ready to tell him she would just go home now, to call her if he needed anything, but before she could get the words out they heard the sound of someone pulling into the yard. Ryanne spun around to see the headlights shining in the front window. Before her of Daryl could wonder out loud who was there, they heard Rachel’s high-pitched, excited voice saying something to her boyfriend, Phil.

Rachel invited herself in with Phil following closely behind her. “Congratulations!” she exclaimed, hugging Ryanne and then surprisingly, Daryl as well.

“Congrats, man.” Phil said, clapping Daryl on the shoulder.

“Rachel, why didn’t you call?” Ryanne demanded. “We just got Emma to bed.”

“Sorry.” Rachel apologized, her voice slightly more quiet. “I wanted to surprise you guys. I figured you wouldn’t properly celebrate, so I figured we’d force you to.”

Ryanne rolled her eyes. It was almost endearing the way Rachel just made herself at home anywhere.

“We brought champagne!” Rachel bribed.

Daryl made a disgusted face at Rachel’s statement.

Phil laughed. “Don’t worry, got some beer for us too.” He said, holding a six pack up to show Daryl.

Ryanne looked to Daryl, her eyes begging him to say yes. She hoped that Phil and Rachel might distract from whatever was going on between them tonight.

“That all you got?” Daryl said to Phil. To most it would sound like a friendly challenge. Ryanne knew better though.

Daryl wasn’t particularly fond of Phil. When Ryanne first noticed his dislike for Rachel’s boyfriend, almost a year ago now, she assumed that like countless others who hated Phil that it had to do with the twenty-three year age difference between him and Rachel. Ryanne was not innocent in judging their age difference. It was especially concerning to her that they had gotten together just after Rachel’s father died by suicide. Rachel was perfectly legal when she and Phil began dating and Ryanne wouldn’t say a word, as long as her friend was happy.

Daryl’s dislike of Phil went further back than his relationship with Rachel. Phil was part of Merle’s gang, Daryl had told Ryanne, or at least he was in the beginning. He got clean and found God during his one and only stint in jail. Why Merle and the guys never fucked with him after he left, Daryl cold never understand. Daryl had a hard time trusting a guy whose new moral code told him to betray his friends and go after teenagers.

There was of course more beer in Phil’s car, as well as a nearly full twenty-four case in the garage fridge. The four of them poured their drinks and sat around the kitchen table. Someone whipped out a pack of cards and they played some game Ryanne couldn’t quite grasp.

Rachel sat in Phil’s lap as they sat around the table. The sight of them made Ryanne feel incredibly lonely. She wished things could be that simple with Daryl. She wished her baggage could just go away. She immediately felt guilty for that thought. Her baggage included her _son_. How could she think such a thing?

Daryl was going fairly easy on the beer, only having finished two by the time Ryanne and Rachel finished their champagne. Assuming Daryl was sober enough to be responsible for Emma if she woke, Ryanne seized the opportunity to let loose. She opened a can of beer and offered one to Rachel. Rachel accepted and extracted a cigarette from a pack in her pants pocket.

“Not inside.” Ryanne warned.

Rachel looked offended, but shrugged it off quickly. Ryanne led her outside and leaned against the porch railing Daryl had replaced after her fall.

“So, how’s things going with you two?” Rachel asked, lighting her cigarette.

Ryanne sighed. The crickets chirping on the lawn filled her silence. “I don’t know where we go from here.” She finally replied.

Rachel passed her the pack of cigarettes. Ryanne lit one up and took a long drag. “I have no reason to stick around here. I helped him as much as I said I would. I think he expected me to leave.”

“Maybe.” Rachel said. “But did you see the way he was looking at you all night?”

Ryanne frowned at her. “Yeah, like he was wondering why I’m still here?”

Rachel laughed. “No, like the way every girl wants to be looked at.”

Ryanne rolled her eyes at the romantic cliché. “You know, those kinds of looks never end well, right? Sure, maybe it’ll be great, but that ends eventually.”

Rachel shook her head. “You need to stop thinking about the end and how it _might_ go, Ry. I mean, you’ve already had the worst divorce ever, what are the odds of that happening again?”

“Shut up.” Ryanne said, playfully punching Rachel in the arm.

“Seriously, think of all the good things you could have if you just stopped overthinking this.” Rachel insisted. “Like, what’s something you really want to do with Daryl?”

“Rachel, no! I am _not_ telling you that.” Ryanne protested. She blushed though, remembering the day in the garage when she imagined Daryl pinning her to the hood of the car he was working on and running his greased up hands all over her.

Rachel laughed. “Fine, but you’ve clearly got something in mind.”

“Oh my god…” Ryanne sighed, growing more embarrassed by the conversation.

Rachel butted out her cigarette and flicked it onto the lawn. “Just promise me you’ll stop thinking so negatively about this? I just want you to be happy.”

Ryanne nodded. Rachel embraced her in a hug before they rejoined the guys inside the house.

 After another round of cards, Phil decided Rachel was too drunk to stay any longer. The couple said their goodbyes and left Ryanne and Daryl to clean up their mess.

“Hey.” Daryl said to Ryanne as she put away the last of the clean glasses. His voice was deeper than usual and he was so close behind Ryanne that she could smell the faint scent of alcohol on his lips.

“Hey.” Ryanne replied, wondering where this was going.

“Thank you.” Daryl said. He placed a hand on her hip and spun her around to face him.

“You’re welcome.” Ryanne said, her voice cracking from nervousness. She could feel the electricity between them and felt her palms begin to sweat. “It was… I mean… I…”

Ryanne quit rambling when Daryl hoisted her up onto the kitchen counter. He guided her legs to wrap around his waist. Ryanne tilted her head back as their lips connected. She moaned as Daryl slipped his hands under her shirt and roughly massaged her breasts. Daryl pulled away from Ryanne’s lips and began to kiss his way from her jaw down to her chest.

“Oh, Daryl…” Ryanne moaned, feeling his hardness pressed against her inner thigh.

“C’mon.” Daryl grunted as he picked her up off the counter. Ryanne gripped Daryl’s shoulders as he carried her to his bedroom.

Daryl set Ryanne down on the bed. The frantically undressed each other and soon Ryanne was straddling Daryl as he thrust deeper inside her. Daryl was the first to cum and with a few additional thrusts Ryanne climaxed as well; the first time in almost four years.

Daryl pulled and Ryanne laid down beside him, smiling contentedly.

“Daryl…” she sighed, quickly realizing how tired she was.

“Best get some sleep, girl.” Daryl said. “You’re gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning.”

Ryanne mumbled something incoherent and rolled over to lay on her side. Daryl rolled onto his side as well and spooned her as she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Again, I apologize how long this chapter took. I'm kind of horrible at writing smut, so writing the sex was super awkward and took forever. Anyway, they finally did it! Yay! Maybe... 
> 
> Anyway, don't forget to comment and subscribe!


	14. Chapter 14

Walking into the Rock and Rye that afternoon was the first time Daryl had seen Ryanne in over three weeks. Well, “seen” was a pretty loose term in a town this small. Daryl saw her from across the street from time to time, but he was certain she hadn’t seen him staring at her from his bay at Jesse’s garage. When the guys invited him out for drinks he was apprehensive at first, but the parking lot was already filling up at two o’clock when Jesse let them out early so he figured the chances of actually speaking to Ryanne were slim. Daryl agreed to go, but didn’t plan to order a drink as he still had to pick Emma up from daycare by five. Going to the bar felt pointless without drinking, but the guys assured him he could use a couple hours away from being a parent.

                The three men found a table at the back of the bar and ordered their drinks from Rachel who raised an eyebrow at Daryl. She knew what had happened between him and Ryanne and would urge him to fix it the first chance she got.

                If he could fix it, he would have done it already. The truth was, Daryl didn’t know how to fix it. Hell, he hardly understood what he had to fix. If anyone should be upset with the other, it should have been him. Daryl thought everything was fine between he and Ryanne the night they slept together, but when he woke up the next morning, she was already gone. Now Ryanne wouldn’t answer any of his texts and had left a ton of her junk at his place. She should be apologizing to him.

                It was hard to stay mad at Ryanne, though. As Daryl watched Ryanne wait on her tables, he wondered if maybe he should have tried a little harder to break down her walls. Ryanne carried herself like she had a secret threatening to break her. Sure, she was always happy and smiling around most people she knew, but she looked too happy. The waitresses at the bar really only smiled for tips, but Ryanne smiled like she gave a shit and talked to people like she’d been here her whole life. For the first time in his life, Daryl found himself wondering about someone else’s secrets.

                A couple tables away, Ryanne was waiting on a table of four men Daryl had never seen before. He eyed them suspiciously, and maybe even a bit jealously as they flirted with Ryanne.

                All of a sudden, the tall, wiry redhead stood up and threw Ryanne over his shoulder.

                “Dan! Put me down!” she screamed.

                Daryl jumped to his feet and in less than three seconds his fist collided with the side of the man’s head. Ryanne landed on her feet and the man stepped back.

                “What the fuck?!” he hollered. The bar had fallen completely silent and all eyes were on them. “This the guy who’s been stalkin’ you, Ry?”

                 “Stalkin’ her? Least I ain’t grabbin’ at her like some kinda pervert.” Daryl defended himself.

                “She’s my sister, creep!” the man yelled, raising his fists.

                Ryanne stepped between them before it could escalate.

                “Dan, put your fists down. You know you can’t fight worth shit.” Ryanne said. “Daryl, this is my brother, Dan.”

                “What’s this about someone stalkin’ you?” Daryl asked, still on guard.

                Ryanne sighed. “It’s a long story. Why don’t we go upstairs and talk about it?”

                “I gotta get Emma.” Daryl said.

                “Go get her then come right back.” Ryanne said. “We need to talk anyway.”

 

* * *

 

 

                Ryanne’s apartment was silent as Daryl approached with Emma wailing in his arms. He figured she must be able to sense how stressed her father was. He hoped seeing Ryanne again might calm her down. Emma may have missed Ryanne more than Daryl did in the past weeks. Some days it felt like there was nothing Daryl could do to stop her crying.

                “Come in!” Ryanne called when Daryl knocked on the door. He entered to see Ryanne sitting silently in the living room across from her brother.

                “Uh, hey.” Daryl said shyly as he sat next to Dan on Ryanne’s sofa.

                Ryanne smiled at him and reached out to take Emma. Daryl gladly passed the cranky baby to her.

                “Hey, baby girl.” Ryanne said as Emma’s cries ceased. “What’s wrong? I missed you.”

                Dan loudly cleared his throat as Ryanne cuddled the baby, growing impatient and knowing his sister was now purposely avoiding the conversation.

                “Ry, we need to talk about this.” He said sternly. “You can’t just call me here cuz you found your apartment broken into then pretend like everything’s fine.”

                “Broken into?” Daryl repeated. Despite the complete lack of contact he’d had with Ryanne for the past few weeks he was still surprised he hadn’t heard about it. It was a small town and news travelled fast.

                Ryanne sighed and averted her gaze from the men. “It wasn’t exactly a break in.” she admitted. “Well, no, it probably was, I just can’t prove it.”

                “What do you mean you can’t prove it?” Daryl asked.

                Ryanne shook her head. “Nothing was out of place. The door was even locked when I came upstairs. It was just… well, my bed was warm, like someone had been laying in it.”

                Daryl felt his skin crawl at the thought of some creep laying in Ryanne’s bed and the things that might be going through that freak’s mind.

                “Ever since, I keep finding more and more things out of place. I thought I was losing my mind at first, but three nights ago, I heard something outside my bedroom window.”

                Daryl was angry. Angry that someone would do that to Ryanne, angry that she hadn’t told him sooner, but most of all angry at himself for not trying to speak to her sooner. None of this would be happening if Ryanne was still spending every night at his house.

                “Do you think it’s Michael?” Dan asked.

                Ryanne bit her lip. She looked at her brother and nodded silently.

                “Fuck.” The elder Lafferty cursed.

                “Who’s Michael?” Daryl asked.

                Ryanne sighed. She looked close to tears. “He’s my ex-husband.”

                Her words might as well have been a knife stuck in Daryl’s chest and twisted around.

                “Ry, have you gone to the police?” Dan asked.

                “No.” Ryanne replied. “What can they do? I have no evidence. Even if I did, he’d still get away with it.”

                As Dan rambled on about changing locks and phone numbers, Daryl realized he had to do something. Regardless of what had happened between he and Ryanne weeks before, she was still his friend. He still owed her for everything she did for his daughter.

                “You can stay at my place.” Daryl offered.

                Ryanne looked at him, wide-eyed, clearly surprised. Daryl anticipated her rejection, but instead he heard a teary “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

 

                Daryl clicked the TV off at the sound of Ryanne’s truck parking in the driveway. He sat up and brushed off the clean shirt he had put on after his shower – not for Ryanne, but because it was a fairly chilly night for late August.

                “Hey.” Ryanne greeted him, letting herself in the front door just like always, as if nothing had ever happened. Daryl never thought such a sight would bring him such relief, like a bandage ripped off without pain.

                “Hey.” He replied, standing up to greet her.

                There was tension thick in the air between them. Who would bring it up first? Would this arrangement even work out once they acknowledged how long it had been since they last spoke?

                “How was work?” Daryl asked.

                “Insane.” Ryanne replied. “The whole town seems to love my brother’s band. Is Emma asleep?”

                Daryl nodded. “Yeah, she wouldn’t go without a fight though.”

                Ryanne smiled. “Stubborn like her daddy.” She paused, changing her tone. “Listen, Daryl, we need to talk.”

                There it was. Daryl felt like he might be sick. All his natural defenses rose. His instincts said to run, that this could only end badly, but he fought through it.

                “Alright.” He said. He took a seat on the sofa and Ryanne followed.

                “I’m sorry I left like I did.” Ryanne began. “I was afraid of how having sex would change things between us. I didn’t want things to be awkward so I just ran. I run from everything cuz I’m a fucking idiot.”

                Daryl shrugged. “S’alright, I get it. It was a mistake. A girl like you shouldn’t want anything to do with someone like me.”

                Ryanne looked hurt. “No! That’s not what I meant!” she protested. “Daryl, I _really_ wanted to have sex with you. We were just so drunk, I didn’t know if you really wanted me. I was afraid that when you woke up and realized what we’d done, you’d tell me it was a mistake.”

                _She_ was afraid he didn’t want to be with her?

                “Ry, why wouldn’t I wanna be with you?” Daryl asked. “Look at you!”

                Ryanne’s cheeks flushed. “It’s just… it’s been years since I’ve been with anyone. Not since my husband, and that wasn’t exactly stellar at the end of it. I’m not used to feeling these things and I’m so scared I’m going to fuck it all up. Like, I wish I’d dated after my divorce so I could have some practice in because there’s so much pressure now because it’s _you._ ”

                Daryl was confused. “What do you mean, _it’s me_?”

                Ryanne laughed. “Oh my God, you know what I mean.”

                Daryl stared blankly back at her.

                “Fuck, don’t make me say it, Daryl!” Ryanne exclaimed, looking flustered. “This is so junior high, holy fuck. I _like_ you, Daryl. As in, I want to date you… or whatever.”

                Daryl’s first instinct was not to trust Ryanne. This had to be some kind of cruel joke. Women didn’t want to date Daryl Dixon, they wanted to fuck him in filthy bar bathroom stalls, usually because they couldn’t afford whatever drugs he and Merle were selling. Nothing about Ryanne was untrustworthy though. Daryl would probably follow that woman through the fires of Hell if she asked him to. It was just unbelievable that she would want to be with him after he was certain she thought sleeping with him was a mistake.

                “Fuck, Ry…” Daryl cursed. “What am I supposed to do with that?”

                “Just tell me if you think it’s worth a shot.”

                Despite his endless self-doubt, Daryl nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're finally together! This chapter really shouldn't have taken as long as it did and I'm not super happy with the outcome, but I couldn't make you guys wait anymore. Anyway, don't forget to leave me some feedback! Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

               

* * *

 

                “Hey, quit starin’ and get back to work!” Rachel teased Ryanne as she returned to the bar with an empty drink tray.

                “I wasn’t staring.” Ryanne protested as she resumed wiping down the bar with a rag.

                “Yeah, sure you weren’t.” Rachel rolled her eyes as she loaded her tray back up with beer from the cooler.

                When Rachel was gone, Ryanne gazed at Daryl who was working away on the far side of the bar, installing Ryanne’s new sound system. Was it really that noticeable?

                They had been taking things slow since Ryanne had confessed her feelings to him. Taking things slow meant not telling Rachel. It also meant they were holding off on sex to avoid another awkward miscommunication like the last time.

                Ryanne watched the way his biceps flexed as he worked. Daryl needed to get some shirts with sleeves if Ryanne was going to keep her urges under control for much longer.

                “Holy shit, quit eye-fucking him.” Rachel laughed, returning to the bar once more.

                “I’m not _eye-fucking_ anyone.” Ryanne insisted through gritted teeth.

                Rachel laughed at how embarrassed Ryanne was becoming. “What’s going on between you two anyway?”

                Ryanne bit her lip. The look on Rachel’s face told her hesitation was the wrong answer.

                “Oh my God, you’re actually fucking!” Rachel exclaimed.

                Ryanne noticed Daryl watching her from across the bar. She ducked down to hide under the bar amongst the sticky dried beer and bottle caps.

                “For your information, no, we are not fucking.” Ryanne corrected. “We’re taking things slow because we don’t want a repeat of last time.”

                “Shut up! Why didn’t you tell me?” Rachel exclaimed, joining Ryanne under the bar.

                Ryanne rolled her eyes. “Because this is how I knew you’d react. Not to mention I don’t need any extra attention since my ex-husband decided to break into my apartment.”

                “Do you love him?” Rachel grinned.

            “What kind of question is that?” Ryanne said. “Rachel, love isn't real. It's just some bullshit made up to sell Hallmark cards. Trust me, I thought I was in love with Michael. Is that what love is? Cuz that sure as hell ain't what Daryl and I have.”

                “OK, what you had with Michael wasn't love. Not that I knew you then, but it sounds like you got married for all the wrong reasons.” Rachel said. “Now, I'm not saying you and Daryl should go and get married or somethin' like that, but there is something there. There has to be. Ryanne, you listen to me and don't you put on this tough 'love isn't real' act. I know you know it's real, you've felt it. You can't tell me it isn't real cuz every day I watch you hurt because you lost it. Not with Michael, but with Aaron.”

                “Don't you fucking dare bring my son into th-”

                Rachel held up her hand and cut Ryanne off. “No. This is just your defense mechanism. When anyone gets too close to what you really feel, that you loved someone so much and then they were gone, you get all tough and bitchy. It's time to get real, Ry, I'm sorry. You're not doing yourself any favours when you do this. You're acting like a child. You might think you've fooled everyone else, but you can't fool me. You're not some stone-cold bitch, you love so much that your love has the power to destroy you and it scares you. I see you with Daryl and Emma every day and you can't tell me that you don't love them.”

                Ryanne wanted to cry, but she fought the tears back. Rachel reached out and took her hand.

                “Ry, you've changed so much since they came into your life. I've never seen you so happy.” Rachel continued. “And I'm not the only one. Phil sees it, your brother sees it. You don't need to walk over there right now and confess everything to him, but you need to at least admit it to yourself. You're an amazing person and you deserve to be happy. I know you don't think you do, but you deserve to be loved and I know for a fact that Daryl loves you. He might not know it yet, but it's there. The way he looks at you, the way he talks about you…”

                “Since when does Daryl talk to you about me?” Ryanne asked.

                Rachel shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.” She said. “What matters is that you don’t fuck this up pretending like you don’t care about anything.”

                Ryanne sighed. She really didn’t need Rachel’s opinion on how to live her life. “Sure, whatever.” She said with a convincing smile.

                “Good.” Rachel said triumphantly. “My table’s up, I’ll be back in a few.”

                Ryanne watched her get up and walk away. She stayed seated under the bar, trying to calm herself down from whatever that interaction even was.

                “Hey, Ry?” Daryl called, leaning over the bar.

                Ryanne took a deep breath and hopped up to greet him. “Hey.” She smiled.

                “Hey, what are you doin’ down there?” Daryl asked. “You alright?”

                “Oh, yeah, just cleaning up some old beer spills.” Ryanne lied. “It’s really dusty down there.”

                Daryl nodded, accepting her response. “I got the speakers done.” He informed her.

                “Thank you, Daryl. They look great!”

                Daryl turned his head away shyly. “Don’t mention it. I owe you anyway.”

                Ryanne shook her head. “Daryl, you don’t owe me anything.”

                She really didn’t like the idea of Daryl paying her back for all the so-called favours. She wanted to help him with Emma, but Daryl was too proud to accept her help without giving something in return. Ryanne could have easily installed the new sound system herself, but Daryl had the afternoon off and she figured it would stop him complaining the next time she bought something for the baby.

                “You busy?” Daryl asked.

                Ryanne looked around the nearly empty bar. “No. Why?”

                “Got a couple hours before I gotta pick Emma up. You wanna get outta here?”

                Ryanne smiled at what sounded like the closest thing she’d ever get to a date with Daryl. “Sure.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Daryl, where the hell are you taking me?” Ryanne groaned as she trudged along behind Daryl through the rough underbrush of the forest.

                “An' here I thought you were patient.” Daryl called back.

                “Ya know, usually when a guy says to a girl in a bar, 'You wanna get outta here?', he means sex. Thought you of all people would know that.” Ryanne retorted.

                “Stop.” Daryl said. He couldn't take her talking about having sex with him when he knew she was only joking.

                “Could've at least told me to change my damn shoes.” Ryanne complained. She was wearing her most expensive pair of cowboy boots today. Definitely not a pair meant to be worn through the woods.

                Daryl rolled his eyes. “Quit your complainin' and hurry up.”

                Ryanne groaned, but caught up to Daryl.

                “We're almost there.” he said as Ryanne fell into step with him.

                “You still haven't told me where we're goin'.” Ryanne reminded him.

                “Told you, it's a surprise.” Daryl repeated himself.

                Ryanne walked alongside Daryl in silence for a while until she thought she heard running water. “Is that what I think it is?” she asked, her eyes beginning to shine with excitement.

                Daryl smirked. “Just you wait.” he said.

                A few more steps and they were out of the woods, standing on the rocky banks of a large pool of water beneath a small waterfall. Ryanne was breathless and Daryl couldn't help but smile as he watched her take it all in.

                “Wow. This is amazing, Daryl.” she finally said. “How did you find this place?”

                Daryl shrugged. “Just kinda stumbled on it years ago out huntin'. It's my favourite place. Used to come out here all the time, 'fore Emma. I don't think anyone else knows 'bout it.”

                Ryanne reached out for Daryl's hand. He was sharing this secret with her. Sure it wasn't like the other secrets he'd shared with her - this was beautiful and those were dark and scary, but Ryanne was happy for this glimpse into Daryl's life. She knew there was something more to him than trucks and crossbows and bar fights. There was a part of him that appreciated the beauty of nature, a part that protected women from dirtbags, a part that loved his daughter more than anything in the world.

                “Kinda romantic, huh?” Ryanne teased and Daryl blushed. “You don't flinch when I touch you anymore.” she noted.

                “I flinched?”

                “Yeah, all the time.” Ryanne said. “C'mon, let's get in.” She pulled her shirt off, then her jeans, revealing a black lace bra and matching panties.

                Daryl stood on the shore and watched as Ryanne walked out into the water. It was colder than she would have liked, being late August, but it wasn’t intolerable.

                “What are you doing? Get in!” she called, treading in the deepest part of the water.

                Daryl shook his head. He never took his shirt off in front of other people, lest they see his scars.

                “Daryl, I've seen them, don't worry about it. Please?” Ryanne batted her eyelashes even though Daryl probably couldn’t get the full effect from the shore.

                He never could say no to her requests. With a deep breath Daryl took off his shirt and jeans and swam out to Ryanne. She wrapped her arms around his neck when he finally reached her.

                “See, you're not flinching or backing away.” she said, her lips temptingly close to his.

                “Guess I'm used to you then.” Daryl mumbled.

                “You know they're nothing to be ashamed of, right?” Ryanne said.

                Daryl just shook his head. He wanted to listen to every word she had to say about moving on. He wanted to just be fixed already, for Ryanne and for Emma, but he feared his pain was far heavier than Ryanne could even imagine. It was definitely too much for him. They could have this conversation later, just not here in his sanctuary.

                Daryl held Ryanne around her waist. He didn't want to ever leave here. He had never thought his secret place could ever get any better until now. Ryanne made everything better. Every day of his life felt brighter since she was in it.

                Ryanne smiled when Daryl pulled her closer. The water may have been cold, but Ryanne’s whole body warmed at Daryl’s touch. She kissed him daringly, wanting to see how far she could push “taking things slow”.

                Daryl returned the kiss with the force of all he’d been holding back. Ryanne couldn’t help but moan when Daryl traced his thumb along the waistband of her panties.

                “You like that?” Daryl asked, smirking with the knowledge that he could elicit such a response from Ryanne.

                “Mhmm…” Ryanne responded, still lost in the feeling.

                Daryl slipped a hand inside Ryanne’s panties and began to rub her. Ryanne dug her nails into Daryl’s muscular shoulders, afraid that if she lost control she might just float away.

                Daryl moved to a shallower place in the water and pulled Ryanne with him. She hardly noticed with Daryl’s hand still stroking her. She kissed him frantically anywhere that she could. Daryl broke away, but only for a moment so he could set Ryanne on top of a large rock that was protruding from the water. Breathing heavily, Ryanne grasped desperately for Daryl, the seconds apart too much.

                “Hold on.” Daryl assured her. He pulled her panties off and chucked them towards the shore, not really caring where they landed. He gripped Ryanne on her outer thighs and took a moment to appreciate the sight.

                “Daryl, please…” Ryanne begged.

                Ryanne’s desire filled him with confidence and he began to eat her out. Ryanne trembled as Daryl licked her clit. Daryl got even harder listening to Ryanne’s moans of pleasure.

                “Want you in me.” Ryanne panted.

                “You sure?” Daryl asked, pulling back a bit.

                “Mhmm.” Ryanne said. She was almost incapable of words at this point. “Please…”

                Daryl kissed Ryanne’s inner thigh then positioned himself on top of her. He entered her gently, knowing how close she was to climax, he wanted to make this last.

                “Harder.” Ryanne commanded as Daryl made slow thrusts inside of her.

                “Hold on.” Daryl said, his voice deep and rough.

                He quickened his pace and with more force behind each thrust. Ryanne was moaning and cursing beneath him, shaking on the brink of her orgasm. Just a few more thrusts at just the right angle and Daryl sent Ryanne over the edge.

                “Oh, Daryl!” she screamed his name as she orgasmed and her walls shook around him.

                Just the way Ryanne said his name set Daryl off. “Fuck.” He cursed as he came inside her.

                “Better than last time?” Daryl asked as he lay by the water with Ryanne’s head resting on his chest.

                “Mhmm,” Ryanne agreed. “Let’s not count last time.”

                “Deal.”

                Ryanne smiled as she traced imaginary lines all over Daryl’s chest with her index finger. She was feeling so many things in that moment, but she knew it was too early to say any of them. She wished they could stay like this forever, isolated from all the complications in their lives. Ryanne closed her eyes and let herself feel all the warm, happy feelings she had denied herself for so long. She thought she might cry from happiness, but the sound of her cell phone ringing brought her back to reality.

                Ryanne rolled over and reached for her phone which was sitting on top of the pile of clothes she had shed before getting in the water. “Hello?” she answered without checking the caller ID.

                “Hey, Ry,” Rachel greeted her. “Can you come back for the supper rush? We’re slammed and Hannah’s car broke down so she’s going to be late, if she gets here at all.”

                For a split second Ryanne silently wished she could just sell the bar and spend the rest of her life here with Daryl. “Yeah, but it’ll be about an hour before I’m ready.” Ryanne obliged.

                “Yeah, that’s fine.” Rachel said. “I’ll get Casey out of the kitchen if I’m really desperate before then. Jane says she’ll stick around until you get here.”

                “OK, I’m on my way.” Ryanne said. “See you soon.”

                She hung up the phone and looked at Daryl. “I have to go back to work.” She pouted.

                “Well, someone’s got to hold that bar together.” Daryl said. “C’mon.”

                They dressed quickly with only a short delay when Ryanne realized Daryl had thrown her panties into the river instead of to the shore.

                The trek back through the woods seemed much shorter than the hike in. Ryanne grinned at Daryl every time he looked back to check on her. They were just past the halfway mark when Daryl stopped suddenly and held his hand up for Ryanne to be still.

                “You hear that?” he asked after a moment of listening.

                Ryanne shook her head. “Hear what?”

                “Sounded like footsteps. Couple branches breaking.”

                “It’s probably just a deer.” Ryanne dismissed. “C’mon, I’ve gotta get back to work.”

                When they returned to the Rock and Rye, Ryanne and Daryl went upstairs to Ryanne’s apartment to get cleaned up. Daryl kissed Ryanne goodbye at the bar’s back door and Ryanne was behind in the bar ten minutes earlier than anticipated.

* * *

 

 

                “Hey, you’re coming over tonight, right?” Daryl asked, not allowing Ryanne to even say “hello” when she answered her work phone.

                “Well, I don’t think I have much choice in the matter.” Ryanne replied sarcastically. She had agreed to stay at Daryl’s until she felt safe in her apartment again, which didn’t look like it would happen any time soon. Not to mention she was looking forward to round two with Daryl after their afternoon hike.

                Daryl didn’t seem to have any tolerance for her sarcasm. “Can you leave work early?” he asked.

                “I was planning to once everything dies down anyway.” Ryanne offered. “Why? Is everything alright?”

                “No.” Daryl replied. Ryanne could hear the desperation in his voice. “Emma won’t stop crying and I don’t know what to do.”

                The sound of Emma’s cries came through the phone and Ryanne felt her heart shatter. “She sounds sick. I’ll be right over.”

                Ryanne gave Rachel and Hannah instructions to lock up and tore out of the parking lot within minutes. When she arrived at Daryl’s she could hear the baby crying from outside the trailer. She walked through the front door without so much as knocking. She found Daryl in the living room, hopelessly rocking Emma.

                “Emma, sweetheart, please stop.” Daryl begged, barely noticing that Ryanne had walked in.

                Ryanne reached out and took the baby. Daryl sighed in relief.

                “Hey baby girl, what’s wrong?” Ryanne said as she tried to comfort Emma. “How long has she been like this?” she asked Daryl.

                “Since I picked her up from daycare.” He replied. “Feels like she’s got a fever.”

                Ryanne pressed the back of her hand to Emma’s forehead. She was warm, but Ryanne doubted it was a fever. It looked like she was only overheating from being so worked up.

                “I can’t do this.” Daryl said, becoming frustrated.

                “Daryl, that’s not gonna help.” Ryanne said. “We’re just going to have to wait it out.”

                Daryl let himself collapse on the sofa and let out a sigh. Ryanne could see he was about to fall apart, but she’d given him enough free passes. He couldn’t keep running away every time he couldn’t get Emma to stop crying. Parenting was only going to get harder and Daryl couldn’t just opt out of the hard parts.

                Ryanne paced back and forth across the small living room while rocking Emma uselessly as she wailed.

                “Has she been sick at all?” Ryanne asked.

                Daryl shook his head.

                “What about at daycare?”

                Another no.

                “When was the last time she ate?” Ryanne asked.

                “Not since we got home.” Daryl replied.

                Ryanne continued to pace with the baby while she tried to figure out what to do. As she paced, Emma grabbed at her necklace and tried to put it in her mouth. Her cries quieted to only a whine.

                It dawned on Ryanne what might be wrong. She took her necklace from Emma then took a look inside the baby’s mouth. Sure enough her gums were swollen.

                “She’s teething.” Ryanne said, relieved that it wasn’t something more serious.

                Daryl however, did not seem relieved in the slightest. “What do we do?” he asked.

                Ryanne carried Emma to the kitchen. “We put something cold on it.” She said as she opened Daryl’s freezer.

                “Nothin’ in there she won’t choke on.” Daryl called out before joining them in the kitchen.

                Ryanne surveyed the freezer. Empty except for some frozen peas and a bag of crushed ice.

                “We gotta make her stop.” Daryl said, frustrated. “I work in the morning.”

                “It’s alright. We’ll just go to the 24-hour pharmacy in Pickettville. Get her some teething gel or something.”

                Daryl nodded and took his keys from his pocket. He looked far too tired to be behind the wheel so Ryanne offered to take her truck. She even offered to take Emma herself so Daryl could have a few minutes peace and quiet, but Daryl declined.

                The motion of Ryanne’s truck calmed Emma a little, but not entirely. Daryl spent most of the drive trying to quiet the baby while Ryanne kept suggesting different methods to alleviate Emma’s pain, none of which worked. They were almost to the pharmacy when Emma decided that chewing on the sleeve of Daryl’s leather jacket was what would work.

                “Seriously, Emma?” he said, totally exhausted.

                The baby just blinked her watery blue eyes at him.

                “Alright,” Daryl sighed, defeated. “Anything for you.”

                Ryanne tried hard not to laugh at Daryl, but she did anyway. She found Daryl’s interactions with Emma funny, in an adorable sort of way.

                “Quit laughin’.” Daryl groaned. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted back, rested on the back of the seat.

                They pulled into the pharmacy parking lot and Ryanne parked close to the entrance. She let Daryl and Emma rest in the car where neither of them could disturb anyone. She returned moments later with a shopping bag full of teething gel and various teething toys.

                “Daryl can you keep her mouth open for me?” Ryanne asked as she took the tube of gel from its package and read the directions.

                Daryl nodded sleepily and removed his coat sleeve from Emma’s mouth and held it open just enough for Ryanne to apply the gel to Emma’s gums. The baby fussed, but only until they were back on the road. Both Emma and Daryl were asleep by the time Ryanne pulled into the driveway.

                Ryanne carried Emma inside and Daryl followed with their pharmacy purchases. Putting Emma to bed was no problem as she had worn herself out crying all evening.

                “Thank you.” Daryl said to Ryanne as he collapsed into bed.

                “No problem.” Ryanne said, sliding in next to him. “Hey, what did you do with the bag from the pharmacy?”

                “’S on the table.” Daryl replied with his eyes already closed.

                “There was something in there for you.” Ryanne said.

                Daryl opened his eyes and looked confused. “What is it?”

                Ryanne smiled. “Go see.”

                Daryl got up and returned to the kitchen. Ryanne heard him rustling through the bag and laughed when he returned to the bedroom with the box of condoms in his hand.

                “Cuz you didn’t have one this afternoon.” Ryanne explained.

                Daryl just smiled and shook his head before placing the condoms on his dresser and returning to bed. He pulled Ryanne close and soon they were both asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally updated! I know I apologize every time, but I really am sorry. This chapter has been like 75% written for almost a year, but I needed to actually catch up with it and make sure there were no plot contradictions or any mistakes like that and then re-direct it with the current story line. This really shouldn't have taken so long, but writing hasn't been a huge priority for me lately. I received death threats and was in some pretty violent situations at work recently so I've mostly just been living in paranoia for the last few months. I can't really go into details because of confidentiality policies in my job. I'm alright now. I'm currently on vacation and have spent the whole week doing a bunch of the stuff I enjoyed before all this.  
> Anyway, back to the story! This chapter turned out way better than what I had originally planned (at least in my opinion). It's got so many elements I love about this story. The sex scene was was more detailed than I have ever written. I have a hard time with writing those, but I managed and I hope it's enjoyable and realistic or whatever. Honestly, it probably was the longest part to write cuz I kept going back and rewriting everything.  
> So, I hope you all liked it. Don't forget, I love feedback! Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

“Hey! Rachel!” Daryl shouted over the bar. He had just stopped in after his shift to find out Ryanne’s plans for the evening before he took Emma home.

                “Hey!” Rachel greeted him, yelling to be heard over the crowd.

                “Where’s Ryanne?” Daryl asked. Normally she would be working the bar with it this busy, but she was nowhere to be seen.

                “Upstairs.” Rachel replied. “She picked Emma up at lunch and went to do payroll.”

                Daryl nodded. He was surprised Ryanne hadn’t texted to tell him she was picking up Emma, but he figured she probably just forgot. He nodded goodbye to Rachel and made his way across the bar to the backroom that held the staircase up to Ryanne’s apartment.

                Immediately something didn’t feel right. The usual welcoming atmosphere of Ryanne’s home was replaced by something more sinister. As Daryl got halfway up the stairs he could hear Emma’s cries. Not the cries he could easily identify, like when the baby was hungry or tired, but cries of complete distress. Daryl raced up the remaining stairs and found that Ryanne’s door was hanging open, the wood splintered around the knob as if it had been kicked in. There was no time to prepare himself for whatever might be inside while his daughter was crying out for him.

                Daryl stepped into the apartment and the scene before him was like something out of a crime show. Ryanne was sprawled across the kitchen floor, blood pooling around her head and surrounded by shattered glass. Daryl felt his heart skip a beat in fear. Was Ryanne even alive? Was Emma OK?

                Daryl looked around the apartment. Emma was in her playpen in the living room, upset, but ultimately safe. It appeared as if there were no one else in the apartment.

                Daryl leaned over Ryanne to check for her breath. He couldn’t feel anything in the hot, dead air between them, nor could he hear anything over his own rapid heartbeat. He pressed a finger to her neck to check for a pulse. He got one, but it was faint.

                “Rachel! RACHEL!” he yelled as loud as he could, knowing she was unlikely to hear him over the crowded bar below.

                He took his cell phone from his pocket and quickly dialled 9-1-1.

                “I need an ambulance!” he exclaimed before the dispatcher could get a word out. He gave her the address as quickly as he could.

                “Alright sir, there’s one on its’ way now.” The dispatcher said. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

                “My girlfriend’s bleeding. She’s knocked out, not breathing.” Daryl replied.

                “Where is she bleeding from?”

                “Looks like her head, but she’s got cuts everywhere.”

                “Is that a baby I hear?” the dispatched asked.

                “My daughter.” Daryl replied. “She’s alight, just scared.”

                “OK.” The dispatcher said, a hint of skepticism in her voice. “Do you know CPR?”

                “Yeah.” Daryl replied. He’d lost count of how many times he’d had to use it to save Merle from an overdose.

                “Alright, I want you to start CPR and I’ll stay on the line with you until the police and ambulance get there.”

                Daryl tilted Ryanne’s head back gently and pinched her nose before breathing into her mouth. He was thankful he didn’t taste blood, which meant none had gotten into her lungs. After two more breaths he began compressions. 30. 3. 30. 3. 30. 3.

                Sometime during the compressions Rachel had come upstairs. She was crying, but she took Emma and tried to keep the baby as calm as she could while Daryl continued CPR.

                It felt like hours, but it was less than 10 minutes before the paramedics and police arrived. Daryl stepped back as the paramedics took over CPR. He began to go to Rachel and Emma, but the sheriff stopped him in his tracks.

                “What happened here?” he asked. This sheriff – Grimes, Daryl thought, was fairly new to town. His first arrest had actually been Merle’s current conviction. The sheriff’s tone was accusatory and Daryl only just realized what this scene must look like.

                “I was just comin’ over after work and I found the apartment door kicked in.” Daryl explained. “Ryanne was on the floor, bleedin’ so I called 9-1-1.”

                “It’s true!” Rachel stepped forward. “Daryl just came in about 10 minutes ago. Ryanne was up here alone with the baby – or so I thought, for a couple hours.”

                “You didn’t see anyone else come in?” Sheriff Grimes asked.

                Rachel shook her head. “We’ve been packed since noon.” She replied. “I could let you see the security footage once Ryanne’s taken care of.”

                “She’s breathing!” one of the paramedics exclaimed. The team put Ryanne on a stretcher and carried her out of the apartment.

                Daryl and Rachel looked at each other, relieved, but unsure of what to do next.

                “Go.” Rachel said. “I’ll watch Emma. Call me the second you hear anything.”

                Daryl nodded. He gave Emma a quick kiss on the forehead then followed the paramedics out the door.

 

* * *

 

                Daryl expected the ambulance ride to be tenser. Ryanne’s breathing had begun moments before being put in the back and the paramedics had stabilized her pretty quickly. The bleeding had stopped, but she was still unconscious. Daryl sat in the front, but spent the entire ride twisted around to watch her.

                Daryl called Rachel from the Emergency Room. She insisted on coming to the hospital, but Daryl stopped her. Ryanne’s condition had not improved. They had stitched up several larger gashes on her body and assessed her head injury. It was determined that Ryanne had a broken collarbone along with fractures in her right hand and wrist, possibly from fighting back.

                By midnight Ryanne was in casts, sedated, and moved to the ICU. When Daryl called Rachel to fill her in, she insisted on coming to the hospital again. Daryl told her it was too late to make the drive with Emma. Rachel settled on bringing Emma to her and Phil’s place for the night. Daryl wasn’t too thrilled about the idea, but there was no longer a door at Ryanne’s and Rachel had no way to get inside his home.

                “Let me know the second she wakes up.” Rachel said.

                “Ok.” Daryl replied, feeling that he was certainly lying to her.

                He ended the call and leaned forward in the uncomfortable plastic chair at Ryanne’s bedside. He surveyed every bruise and laceration on her body, blaming himself for every single one. If only he’d gotten there sooner.

                Daryl sighed and took Ryanne’s hand in his. He was exhausted from the night’s events, but he couldn’t let himself sleep, not while Ryanne suffered.

                In the hallway, two officers paced back and forth. Rachel had told Sheriff Grimes about Ryanne’s ex-husband and the recent break-ins. Despite having a photo of the guy, the officers still eyed Daryl suspiciously whenever they passed Ryanne’s room.  A Dixon and a battered woman; not an uncommon sight for the local police force.

                A nurse entered the room and Daryl sat up straight. She was older, probably mid-fifties and you could tell she was pretty once, before the job creased her face and greyed her hair. She went to the opposite side of Ryanne’s bed and checked the fluids in her IV.

                “How long til she wakes up?” Daryl asked.

                “I can’t say for sure.” The nurse replied vaguely. “She’s a fighter though.”

                Something about her uncertainty caused Daryl’s chest to tighten. He held Ryanne’s hand tighter.

                “You saved her life, you know.” The nurse said.

                Daryl shook his head. The nurse couldn’t say that until they knew for sure that Ryanne would wake up. He felt his chest tighten at the thought. He remembered the only time he had ever really suffered a loss, his mother. Daryl had toughened up after that experience, or at least he tried. He never let anyone too close for fear of losing them, or worse, that they might hurt him. Now here he was with a daughter and a girlfriend, one of whom he would probably lose.

                The nurse must have slipped out while Daryl was brooding. The room was empty now, save for himself and Ryanne.

                “Ry,” he said, his voice threatening to break into sobs at any moment. “Please wake up. Me and Emma need you.”

                He stared at Ryanne, willing her to wake up. When his mother was still alive, she used to watch a lot of movies while she drank wine in bed all day and Daryl would sometimes join her. In those movies the girl always woke up when the man begged her to and told her he couldn’t go on without her. Of course it didn’t work that way in real life, why had Daryl even thought that?

 

* * *

 

                Daryl didn’t know quite when he fell asleep, but he woke to his phone ringing at seven the next morning. He looked around the room for a moment in confusion. When he saw Ryanne laying in the hospital bed hooked up to half a dozen different machines he remembered where he was. Part of him had hoped it was only a nightmare.

                “Hello?” Daryl answered as he sat up straighter in the uncomfortable plastic chair he had fallen asleep on.

                “Hey, is she awake yet?” Rachel asked.

                Daryl sighed. “No, not yet.”

                “Have the doctors told you anything?”

                “Nah,” Daryl replied. “I’m not even supposed to be here since I’m not family, but the sheriff told them to let me stay.”

                “What are we supposed to do?” Rachel asked tearfully.

                “Just have to wait I guess.” Daryl replied.

                “But he’s out there and the cops aren’t doing anything. God only knows what he’ll do next.”

                “Who?”

                “Michael!” Rachel replied. She tried to choke back a sob, but to no avail.

                “Ry’s ex? Why would he want to do this? They’ve been divorced for years, right?”

                “Yes.” Rachel replied. She paused for a moment as if she were considering something. “It’s not really my place to say, Ry would kill me, but you need to know. Michael’s a fucked up guy, Daryl. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t really know, but this isn’t the first time he’s hurt her. Ry told me he’d never gotten physical with her… much, but the stuff he did was so sick and twisted. Ry moved here cuz she thought he’d never find her. About a month ago her mother got her phone number and Ryanne thought she may have given it to Michael.”

                Daryl clenched his fists and felt his blood pressure rise. What was this guy’s problem? Why would he bother with Ryanne? Why hadn’t the cops arrested him yet?

                “Daryl, I’m gonna come over anyway.” Rachel broke the silence. “I need to see her.”

                “OK.” Daryl said. “How was Emma?”

                “She was a little fussy.” Rachel replied. “I think she misses you.”

                Daryl’s chest ached. He felt terrible for leaving Emma alone when she was already terrified after what she had seen. He had no idea how he was going to make it up to her.

                “We’ll be over soon, OK?” Rachel.

                “OK.” Daryl said before hanging up.

                He watched Ryanne’s chest rise and fall with every breath she took. He was thankful she was doing that on her own, no assistance from any type of machine. He hoped that was a good sign.

                About forty minutes after their call ended, Rachel arrived. She got held up in the hallway by the two police officers who were standing guard outside Ryanne’s room. Daryl noticed they had switched shifts while he was asleep. He was angry that such a small police force was sending officers to patrol a hospital hallway instead of looking for the son of a bitch who did this to Ryanne.

                “I’m her _friend_.” Daryl heard Rachel raise her voice to the officers. “This is her boyfriend’s daughter. Do I really look like I could hurt someone while carrying a baby _and_ a tray of hot coffee?”

                “This is for Miss Lafferty’s protection ma’am.” One of the officers, Walsh said. “Need to see some ID.”

                “Hey, everything alright?” Daryl asked, stepping into the hallway.

                “This doesn’t concern you, Dixon.” Walsh said. “Miss Hannigan, I need to see your ID before you can proceed.”

                Rachel handed Emma off to Daryl and produced her driver’s licence from her purse. Officer Walsh looked at the ID and radioed to Sheriff Grimes for clearance. He got the OK and waved Rachel through. He shot Daryl a dirty look before he returned to his patrol.

                Daryl shrugged it off. He was used to that kind of treatment from police. He was a Dixon after all. He held Emma close and gave her a kiss. He hoped she would never have to deal with the judgement that came with their name.

                Rachel stood frozen as she caught sight of Ryanne. “I can’t believe it…” she said, her voice almost a whisper. “Ry’s the last person I could imagine like this. I mean, it’s _Ry_ for christsakes!”

                Daryl sat in the chair closest to Ryanne, the post he’d held for over 12 hours. Rachel took the seat next to him. He expected her to start crying, but she was stone-faced as if whatever she was feeling was too strong to display itself on her face.

                “She’ll be alright.” Daryl said, trying hard to believe his own words. “It’s Ry, nothing stops her.”

                Rachel forced a smile and nodded. Daryl kept Emma’s face tucked away against his chest, trying to shield his sweet girl from the palpable sadness in the room. They sat in silence for a while, praying silently that Ryanne would wake and tell them what to do next.

                “Yeah, they’re both here now.” Daryl heard Officer Walsh say on the other side of the door. He heard Sheriff Grimes dismiss him and suddenly he realized that the officers weren’t there to keep people out, they were there to keep him in.

                “Daryl, Rachel,” the sheriff addressed them by their first names. “Need a word with you both – separately.”

                Rachel seemed unfazed by the order. That was just it though, it was an order, not a request. Sheriff Grimes wasn’t _asking_ for statements, he needed to question them and the officers posted outside the door all night were only there to keep tabs on Daryl.

                Daryl remained in his seat, hoping Rachel would volunteer to go first. He knew he was innocent, but he was a Dixon and that was a life sentence here. All he wanted was a few extra minutes with Emma before he was arrested.

                Rachel got up first and Daryl was relieved for a split second.

                “I guess you can talk to me first.” She said to Sheriff Grimes. “But there’s not much to tell you. It’d be better if you just came into the bar today so I can play you the security tapes.”

                The sheriff just nodded and ushered Rachel out of the room.

                Time passed slowly as Daryl waited. He felt trapped, helpless. He told Emma he loved her, but didn’t know what else to say. Not that she’d understand anyway, but he felt he should say something if he was going to be arrested.

                When Rachel returned nothing about her demeanor seemed to have changed. She looked just as concerned for Ryanne as she had when she arrived at the hospital. Daryl reluctantly passed the baby to her while Sheriff Grimes waited for him at the door of Ryanne’s room. Daryl looked back at his daughter once before leaving the room and following the sheriff down the hallway out of the ward and into an empty conference room.

                “How’re you holdin’ up?” the sheriff asked.

                Daryl was confused. Was this some kind of tactic? Generally cops in these parts never pulled any of that Law and Order, CSI crap. Local cops got straight to the point. The already had the answer in their mind, they just needed you to say it out loud.

                Daryl shrugged.

                “You look like you were up all night with her.” Sheriff Grimes remarked.

                “Thought your guys woulda told ya that.” Daryl said indignantly.

                The sheriff leaned forward across the table in a non-threatening manner. “Listen, Daryl, I realize you probably think I’m here to interrogate you. I’m not gonna lie, half the force had you labelled guilty before we even saw Ryanne. I’m not from here, Daryl and it’d my belief that good police work doesn’t include making arrests based on prejudice.”

                Daryl wanted to believe him, but his distrust of law enforcement ran too deep to be fixed by a few words.

                “I’ve got at least four people who can corroborate your alibi.” The sheriff assured him. “Honestly, I just want to know what you know about Ryanne’s relationship with her ex-husband.”

                Daryl thought for a moment. Maybe this new sheriff was for real. He’d answer his questions, but he would keep his guard up.

                “Not much.” Daryl answered with a shrug. “First I ever heard about him was about a month ago. Ry called her brother to town cuz she thought someone broke into her apartment. I wasn’t supposed to know, but Dan let it slip.”

                The sheriff nodded. “There was a break in? How come Miss Lafferty didn’t report it?”

                “She had no proof.” Daryl replied. “Said that she came home one night to find her door unlocked and her bed warm like someone was just in it. She kept findin’ things out of place. One night she thought she saw someone outside her window.”

                “Those are some pretty serious allegations. Do you think she was afraid to report them?”

                Daryl shook his head. “Nah, she used to be a lawyer. She told me stalking is one of the hardest charges to get so there’s not much can be done til something big happens.”

                Sheriff Grimes nodded again. “So Miss Lafferty suspected it was her ex-husband, Michael Whitten who broke in?”

                Daryl nodded, only just realizing that when that inmate called her “Mrs. Whitten” when they were visiting Merle he was calling her by her married name. How had he missed that?

                “Do you know how long they’ve been divorced?”

                “Least since she moved here I guess. That was three years ago.”

                “Three years… ok… Any idea what would have prompted the attack now?” the sheriff asked.

                Daryl shook his head. “No.” he said. “Me an’ Ry, we don’t really talk about that stuff. Rachel mentioned Ry's mother got her phone number and may have given it to him.”

                “I see.” Sheriff Grimes said. “Is there anything else you can tell me that might be relevant to the investigation?”

                Daryl thought for a moment before he spoke. “She’s been staying at my place since the break-ins. She goes to work around 10 then comes straight home. She hasn’t been up to the apartment in two weeks. Yesterday she would have been doing payroll in her office. He’s been watching her, learning her schedule to get her alone.”

                “Anything else?” the sheriff prompted.

                “Yeah, a couple weeks ago we were hiking south of town, just outside the nature preserve. There was someone following us.”

                “Are you sure?” the sheriff asked.

                Daryl nodded. “Yeah, been trackin’ game since I was 10. I know a human footstep when I hear one.”

                Sheriff Grimes opened his mouth to ask another question when a nurse opened the door without so much as a knock.

                “Mr. Dixon,” she said, out of breath as if she ran all the way there. “She’s awake and she’s asking for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is probably the fastest I've ever updated this story! I'm impressed with myself. Well, I guess my biggest problem was trying to catch up to where the story was in my head and that's pretty much where I'm at now. Hopefully I'll have more chances to update. As far as I can tell I have no more major projects for my course, so that should give me some more time to write.  
> Anyway, thank you all for reading and sticking with me even though I'm crap at making regular updates! As always, I love and appreciate your feedback!


	17. Chapter 17

“Hey,” Ryanne greeted Daryl with a weary smile as he entered her hospital room.

                Her heart ached at the sight of him, knowing she got him messed up in all her problems. She felt nauseous from the guilt, or maybe from the painkillers.

                “Hey,” Daryl said as he pulled a chair close to the bed and took her hand in his. He stared at her intensely. What could he possibly have to say?

                Ryanne wanted to run away and to leap into his arms all at once. His presence was comforting to her now after all these months, but she knew she had to leave him. Daryl and Emma both deserved better than her increasingly messed up life.

                “I’m sorry.” Ryanne said, fighting back tears.

                “Don’t be.” Daryl protested. “You and Emma are safe now. That’s all that matters.”

                Why couldn’t he just be mad at her? She had put his daughter in danger by hiding all her secrets from him yet he didn’t care? What was wrong with him?

                “Daryl, I fucked up.” Ryanne whined. “I should have told you everything. It’s just so fucked up. I didn’t think you even wanted to know, but look where that got us!”

                Daryl squeezed her hand. “Hey, it’s alright, Rachel told me. It’s fine, Ry, I swear.”

                Ryanne looked at Daryl wide-eyed. “What did Rachel tell you?”

                Ryanne’s chest tightened as Daryl recounted what Rachel had told him about her marriage to Michael. She was shaking with anxiety when he finished.

                “That’s not everything, Daryl.” She said. “I wish you could have found out under better circumstances, but I want to tell you before you hear it from anyone else.”

                Daryl looked confused, as if he couldn’t fathom there being any more to the story of Ryanne and Michael.

                Ryanne took a deep breath to prepare for her confession. Bound to the hospital bed and hooked up to half a dozen machines, she had no choice, she couldn’t run from this any longer.

                “Michael and I had a son. He died of SIDS when he was 8 months old. Michael blamed me and divorced me.”

                Ryanne was sobbing heavily when she finished speaking. Daryl was only the second person she had told this to, the first being Rachel, and if felt like her entire chest cracked open each time.

                “H-he said it was m-my f-fault cuz I-”.

                “Shhh…” Daryl cut her off. He rubbed his thumb on the back of Ryanne’s hand until her breathing steadied. “The sheriff wants to talk to you. Think you’re up to it?”

                Ryanne nodded, a tear slowly rolling down her cheek. “Can’t get much worse, can it?” she tried to laugh.

                “I’ll get him.” Daryl said. “I’ve got to take care of some stuff at work, but I’ll be back tonight, alright?”

                Ryanne nodded, wishing he didn’t have to leave, but knowing that she would be asleep for most of his absence anyway. Daryl kissed her knuckles and left the room.

                Sheriff Grimes, whom Ryanne was already familiar with from her work, entered the room shortly after. Ryanne told him the details of her relationship with Michael while the pain was still fresh from opening up to Daryl. She saw no point in inflicting that pain on herself twice by putting this off.

                “I hate to tell you this, Ryanne,” Sheriff Grimes said, “But we haven’t found Michael yet.”

                Ryanne nodded. “You probably won’t, Rick.” She said pessimistically. “And if you do, good luck charging the son of a congressman.”

                Rick did not respond to the comment. From her years in the justice system, Ryanne knew that this meant he was also doubtful about an arrest.

                “We’re currently checking every motel in the county. Are there any aliases he might go by?” Rick asked.

                Ryanne shook her head no. “He’s probably shacked up with some tweaker.” She paused wide-eyed for a moment while she realized what this meant. “Bobbi-Jo Brightly!” she exclaimed.

                “Bobbi-Jo Brightly?” Rick repeated confused.

                “She’s Emma’s mother. She’s had it out for me and Daryl since he got custody.” Ryanne explained.

                “And you think that’s where Michael is staying?” Rick confirmed. “We can’t just barge in there without a warrant, Ryanne.”

                Ryanne shrugged. “It’s Bobbi-Jo Brightly. Just pick a charge.”

                The sheriff ignored the comment, sticking with his professional demeanor. “I’ll look into it.” Rick said. “I’ve got enough from you for now. Get some rest. There’ll be two deputies right outside your door until we have Michael in custody.”

                Ryanne nodded. She was too pessimistic about the situation to say anything as Rick left the room. A nurse came in just as Rick was leaving. She checked Ryanne’s IV and gave her a morphine tablet. Soon Ryanne was in a restless sleep.

 

* * *

 

                In the split second between the moment she awoke and when she opened her eyes Ryanne blissfully forgot where she was. She could sense Daryl nearby from the familiar sound of his breathing and his warm scent – a mixture of smoke, pine, and gasoline. Until she opened her eyes to the bright, blinding fluorescent hospital lights Ryanne believed she was waking up in Daryl’s bed.

                “Hey,” Daryl said, realizing Ryanne was awake. “How you feelin’?”

                “Like I got hit by a train.” Ryanne replied. “Where’s Emma?”

                “Rachel’s got her.” Daryl answered. “Didn’t want her to see you like this.”

                Ryanne nodded. She wanted to see the baby, but she understood Daryl’s concern.

                “They get Michael yet?” Ryanne asked.

                Daryl shook his head. He couldn’t bring himself to look Ryanne in the eye.

                “They’re not going to.” Ryanne said pessimistically.

                Daryl looked away, unable to look Ryanne in the eye. He wanted to be hopeful for her, but he couldn’t do it, not knowing how this was likely to turn out.

                “Will you bring Emma by tomorrow?” Ryanne asked. “I really miss her.”

                Daryl nodded. “I’ll try.”

                Ryanne forced a smile and laid back on her pillow. She was sad and exhausted. Seeing her like this tore Daryl apart. She reminded him of his mother in the days before she died and he felt just as helpless as he did then.

                “Daryl, if this is too much for you, I understand.” Ryanne said. “We haven’t been uh… together all that long and you’re not obligated to deal with all my baggage.”

                “Stop.” Daryl cut her off. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.” He promised.

                Ryanne shut her eyes and tried not to cry. She couldn’t believe Daryl. It was inconceivable to her that he would want to be with her to begin with, let alone stick around for all of this. It scared her because she never knew anyone who supported her so fully without ulterior motives.

                “Y’alright?” Daryl asked.

                Ryanne smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Just tired.”

                “I should let you sleep then.” Daryl said. “I need to pick Emma up soon anyway.”

                “OK.” Ryanne agreed, her eyelids growing heavy.

                Daryl kissed her gently on the cheek. “I’ll stop by before work tomorrow.”

                Ryanne grinned and fell asleep to the sight of Daryl leaving the hospital room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's been forever. I just get these visions of how I want the chapter to be, but then it never translates well to paper and we're left with a chapter like this that is 98% dialogue. So totally sorry, I promise the next will be better and hopefully be updated sooner.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey and thanks for giving my new fic a shot! I'm new to AO3 and haven't quite got the hang of things yet. If you notice any formatting problems or anything like that, please let me know. Anyway, enjoy the prologue to Whiskey Lullabies! If people like it I'll put up Chapter 1 this weekend.


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